Fair Dawn
by greyrondo
Summary: It seems that we spend out entire lives trying to rewrite the past. We wonder if we can't heal the present, and we're frightened of eventually living our broken future. Rated T for elements of violence and HaseoxEndrance, BalmungxAlbireo
1. Initiation and Pavonine Masquerade

Disclaimer: I don't own .hack. But everything not associated with .hack (original plot, etc.) does belong to me.

Rumors sweep the internet of an exclusive role-playing game titled 'Reality', a dark and monochromatic alternate universe connected to the mysteries of the real world. But even though the real world is protected by the Guardian's Union, the Cobalt Knights, and the Civil Control Commons, the ghost of the Outbreak—and current AIDA infestation—make it so that certain citizens of the world wouldn't mind an alternate reality, even if it is more confusing than the real one.

Currently rated T for some violence, sexual themes, and general .hack weirdness. This fic will eventually be focused on two relationships, both between male characters. If that's not your cup of earl grey, then that's fine, but I did warn you.

Now, with all that business out of the way, please enjoy and review!

~greyrondo

**Fair Dawn**

"How was Lord Orca?"

"No different. Saw Ovan there at the hospital too, visiting his sister. Aina. He didn't look at me."

"Guess Ovan's no different, either. Even though you didn't know him when that happened, Ovan still associates you with him—what's with that face?"

"What face? I don't have a weird face. How can you even see my face in this light?"

The lights of Lumina Cloth inked two silhouettes into the ruins of Carmina Gadelica. One, standing on the rubble that had once been a fountain, listened, waiting for something to stir, something that couldn't quite be seen in this darkness. AIDA. Enough of the glow from Lumina Cloth fell on him to cast light on his face. It glinted, catching his glasses and his hair the color of twilight. The other, in complete shadow, only suggested the outline of angel's wings.

"He said something to me. Something strange. Just before he…"

"Lord Orca?" the one with glasses asked.

"No. You know who I'm talking about."

"Oh. Of course. Balmung, you're the only one who considers him a Lost One."

"Since when have you been so optimistic? You're supposed to be the practical one."

"That's not what I meant—"

"'There's something I have to tell you. About everything. About the time we spent in Fragment, the time we spent in the real world.' Those were the last words he said to me. The next time we saw him, he was…well, look at this place."

"Lios and Silver Knight are dead. Are you starting to notice a pattern here? All the guardians who were involved in that are getting knocked off, one by one. Think she's saving the most guilty one for last?"

"And I was having such a good day, too. Thanks, Reki."

"Just doing my job, sir."

**Chapter One: Initiation and Pavonine Masquerade**

Ryou was nervous, and shoved his hands into his pockets and stared meaninglessly at the concrete sidewalk. He didn't like the character designs or the areas, but he'd heard, not from anyone that he knew in person, that despite the looks of this monochromatic virtual world, this was the game to play. It was still being tested. But if you were invited to beta 'Reality', then you didn't say no.

The first few times he saw the title on the boards, he thought 'Reality' was a stupid name, and not the least bit pretentious, coming from some company that no one had ever heard of before, likely based in the bad part of Mac Anu out of some run-down office park that PKs wouldn't even bother with.

He stopped thinking it was stupid when he became interested. The game's premise: that the real world is nothing more than an online alternative reality and life is nothing but a game, albeit a game with a dark past and a darker present. He wasn't given the option to tailor his character, not even his name. He was just given the controls and one message in his inbox.

It wasn't a welcome message. It was a set of instructions: go here, and wait. Someone will be sent to you. He will decide if you can be trusted. Don't look suspicious.

He was about to give up and log out. Right now, lunch and a nap in the real world sounded much more interesting than meeting some stranger in this fake one. He needed his strength for tonight or his boss would send him home, and that would be rent gone for the month. Really, he shouldn't be wasting time like this at all if it wasn't going to be worth it.

"Um. Sorry," he heard someone address him in the game world, and he looked up. A young man maybe a year or so older than his game character stood in front of him, holding a plain-looking cell phone. "Did you drop this?"

While Ryou's appearance was that of a perfectly ordinary, perfectly boring student, this one looked even worse than ordinary. He was thin enough to look sickly, and his untamed long hair obscured half of his features. He didn't look happy to be outside, but what Ryou could see of his face, he stood out a little more than the rush of expressionless NPCs that coursed by them.

"No," Ryou answered him. "Maybe you should turn it in to the police."

That made the lanky man chuckle softly, as if he were ashamed to let someone else hear him laugh. "Don't go to the police. They can't help you. CC Corp. has them."

"…what?"

"My name is Kaoru. Nothing else. Do you want answers?"

At that moment, Ryou wondered if he was speaking to an NPC or not. Kaoru… just a first name, nothing else? He hardly knew this person. But there was something about this Kaoru that kept Ryou's attention.

"I'm Ryou. I guess I do. Are you a player?"

"Of course. We all are. Why would you be here if you didn't play The World?"

That wasn't what Ryou meant, but he decided to let it go. This had to be a part of the tutorial sequence. But what happened next certainly wasn't.

"Ryou," Kaoru whispered. "I know that we're meeting because of CC Corp. But I want you to know that what I said online, I meant in real life too. This can be about more than just finding the truth behind CC Corp's lies. If you want it, that is…"

"What?"

Suddenly Kaoru leaned in and kissed him.

Ryou pulled back in shock, but Kaoru had already drawn back. "Just to throw them off," he whispered with a sly smile. "They're watching, you know."

Then he leaned in and whispered in Ryou's ear, "Lord Balmung of Azure Sky spent too much time with someone known as the Twilight Dragon. If we can find the player behind the Twilight Dragon…"

The double shock of that faked but way too real kiss, and hearing Balmung's name, left Ryou speechless. Balmung? As in Lord Balmung of Azure Sky? Had he given permission for this crack MMO to use his name like that?

Well, it wasn't his name exactly, not anymore. But that was—

That's when he heard a soft but insistent knock. Not inside the game, but in the real world.

He bolted up from his computer, turning around just as his hand reached backwards towards the keyboard, punching in the command that would black out his screen.

"Hey, Atoli," he laughed nervously. "How are you doing this evening? Something wrong?"

Just when it was getting weird. Since 'weird' was why he was playing the game, he didn't even mind that fake kiss that much, but if Atoli had seen it, then she might make the wrong assumption about how he spent his time on the internet.

Then again, maybe he could use that to his advantage.

He tried not to make it a point to talk too much to her anymore, not when it seemed that every time they spoke—especially alone—it seemed as if she wanted the conversation to be far more intimate than he would ever, ever let it become.

He also didn't like it when people came into his apartment without permission. Not that there were locks, not in this part of Breg Epona, but there were boundaries.

Atoli only laughed. "Come on. The sun's already setting, aren't you going to come with me? You spend all your free time shut up in your room playing some stupid online game or another. Why don't you spend more time in the real world? Is that online virtual reality really that much more fun?"

"It's not really something I do for enjoyment," he found himself muttering, to Atoli's confusion.

"Then why do you play?"

But he only shook his head. You just couldn't explain Reality to someone who didn't play the game. Never mind that he had just started, so he was a little ahead of himself with considering himself a regular player.

"Well, you're not playing now. So come out and enjoy some Breg Epona nightlife! Come on, this is the biggest city outside of Mac Anu, let's go take advantage of it."

"All right, all right. Who else is coming?"

Atoli paused, and nervously cleared her throat. "Um, well, I was thinking maybe it could be just the two of us. Kuhn and Pi aren't off work just yet," she said quickly, "or I'm sure they'd come with us."

He internally sighed. He had already agreed, and Atoli had come through for him on a few occasions. She was a good healer, and he couldn't go to a hospital with injuries from his line of work. He just didn't want to lead her on.

"Ah, I'm sure Kuhn would rather chase after girls anyways," Haseo joked. Hopefully if he managed to keep the conversation from becoming too personal, he might enjoy himself.

"Of course!" Atoli chirped. "Are you sure Breg Epona's okay? I mean, we could go to Lumina Cloth. Or maybe Mac Anu. We can pick up Pi and Kuhn after seeing the city a bit!"

He smiled wearily. It almost made him feel bad that he didn't have any feelings for Atoli. But he couldn't help something that just wasn't there.

"Sure. Mac Anu sounds great," he conceded, and followed her out into the setting sun air of Breg Epona. It was a five minute walk to the chaos gate, and another twenty to the part of town where Kuhn and Pi worked, depending on how much they dawdled.

Offline his name was Haseo. He had a job, if one could call it that. He didn't use his name when he worked, partially because if he did, he wouldn't be able to ever stop working. It helped that he looked younger than he actually was.

He looked around Mac Anu. Being a PKK certainly made one want an alternate world to escape into, even if that world was more puzzling than reality.

"Haseo? Haseo!"

The salt-scented air had lulled Haseo into quiet thought. He hadn't realized he'd been staring.

"Do you know him or something?" Atoli whispered as Haseo grimaced, rubbing the spot on his ribs where Atoli had elbowed him.

"Wha—" Haseo stumbled as he looked up. He'd accidentally faded off into abstraction and seemed to be staring at a man holding a grudging conversation with a pair of identical children. "Oh, uh, no, never seen him before in my life."

Atoli rolled her eyes. "Wait, I think I know him. That's one of Kuhn and Pi's co-workers. He's come to the apartment block a few times, for business. What's his name, again," she sighed distractedly as she realized she didn't know. "I can't remember. He never really says anything. Kind of tough to remember someone like that, know what I mean?"

"One of Kuhn and Pi's co-workers, huh?" Haseo said as they walked onwards. "So what's his Epitaph?"

"I think he's a Macha?" Atoli wondered out loud as she shrugged.

"He's a guy and he's a Macha?" Haseo chuckled under his breath.

"Well, not everyone's a Skeith like you. Nor would they want to be," Atoli sniffed. Haseo smiled, knowing she was still sensitive about the fact that she'd Awoken to be an Innis. She somehow took the whole 'Mirage of Deceit' thing personally.

Which was completely ridiculous. Anyone who took a moment to consider the descriptions of the Epitaphs soon realized that none of them were entirely flattering. But Epitaphs were necessary. Some Epitaphs manifested with more influence than others; those with the strongest were quickly put to work as guardians against AIDA, like Kuhn and Pi.

"I think he's got the shift after Kuhn and Pi, along with those twins," Atoli said thoughtfully. "Why don't we walk over there with them?"

Haseo quickly shook his head. "I think that guy saw me staring at him. I don't want him get the wrong idea."

"The wrong idea?" Atoli giggled. "Haseo, you've been so weird today. That game's messing with your head. You're becoming paranoid."

"That's impossible. It's just a game."

"Well, if it's just a game, then how come—"

Haseo, moving into the central market square, didn't notice at first when Atoli stopped, her breath caught in her throat. But he did notice when her arm, suddenly hooked around his elbow, yanked him backwards a good two feet.

"Atoli, what's the deal—" Haseo began, and then followed her wide-eyed gaze.

"I never should have thought of coming to Mac Anu," she whispered as Haseo looked on at the proselytizing Moon Tree representative.

Haseo grabbed her elbow, shaking his head. "It's all right. We'll take another way. The dock's a nicer walk, anyways. We can see what seafood they're selling. Pi would like that."

After a good few minutes of silence, Haseo spoke up.

"You know what's weird, though? That was Matsu," Haseo commented. "I mean, he's the last person I'd pin for joining Moon Tree."

"You know him? He must have joined after I… left," Atoli said, stepping around the details.

But Haseo shook his head. "Eh. Knew him through work," he told her, his voice hushed.

Atoli nodded. "Then you're right. It doesn't make sense for a PK to suddenly turn around and spread Moon Tree's beliefs…"

"Why'd you leave, Atoli?" Haseo then asked. "I mean, you can see why I wouldn't agree with them, because then I'd be out of a job, but there are stranger organizations out there. I'd see you here in Mac Anu before you moved to Breg Epona, working with what's-his-face, Sakaki."

"Um, I… I just… it was taking up too much of my time. I needed more time for work."

Haseo wanted to know, then, why she felt she had to pick up and move to Breg Epona after she left Moon Tree. That was how she'd ended up being his suitemate, after all. Kuhn and Pi had the floor—like most Breg Epona apartment blocks, there were a series of rooms connected to a central living area—thanks to G.U., but needed more people to fill in the extra rooms. Haseo had been living there for a week—PKKing wasn't the best job when it came to a steady paycheck, and Kuhn was feeling generous—when Atoli moved in, without much of an explanation except that she preferred to commute to her job at the Civil Control Commons in Mac Anu.

And she'd been a strange mix of little sister and rejected romance ever since. When she wasn't whining or trying to deepen their relationship, she wasn't that bad, so Haseo knew her well enough to tell when she was lying.


	2. Sanguine and Obsession

Disclaimer: I don't own .hack. But everything not associated with .hack (original plot, etc.) does belong to me.

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far. As always, please enjoy and review!

~greyrondo

* * *

The cathedral was silent as scorched stormy sunlight streamed in through the stained-glass windows. Too quiet, except for the rustle of wings and the staccato of heeled boots.

"Why are we meeting here now?" was the question called out into the arch of the ceiling as those boots walked down the aisle. From above, a single feather floated down to the tile.

"Because you don't have to be Monarch here, Reki."

"I like being Monarch. And you're the one who turned your back on your title, Lord Balmung of Azure Sky. I just followed suit because it seemed like something good to do at the time."

"You like being Monarch?" Balmung said as he landed, kneeling, in front of the altar. After a breath, he looked up. Reki crossed his gauntlet-protected arms over his chest and looked down to meet Balmung's eyes.

"Sure. Playing nice gets old. Especially since we no longer have to step carefully around Jun. What about you, Zamiel? Do you miss your sword? Or is it more fun to play with firearms than you thought?"

Balmung sighed as he stood up. "He carried a spear, remember? It was very old, very well made. I thought he had stolen it from somewhere… I don't know."

Reki made an impatient noise. "If you're just going to talk about him without doing anything, I'm leaving. There are more important things to worry about. Don't bank everything on finding out what he meant to tell you those years ago."

That made Balmung smile sadly. "I suppose you would call this obsession, wouldn't you?"

"I don't see how anyone could call it anything else."

"Then what if I said that finding out what he said doesn't matter, not in comparison to saving the world?"

"That's just a different kind of obsession, Lord Balmung of Azure Sky. But at least I can see eye-to-eye with you in regards to it. If you're obsessing over him because you think that finding him will help save the world, then I'm not going to argue. I'll do what I do best; work towards making it a reality."

**Chapter Two: Sanguine and Obsession**

It had not been until Haseo had first logged into Reality that he realized how colorful and bright the real world was. Grays and browns seemed to dominate this washed-out alternate world. There were those individuals that stood out, but the point of Reality was to blend in. So the NPCs shared more in common with the real world than the player characters.

"It's hard to make contacts here—since you don't know who's working for whom."

The unwritten rule of Reality was that you never broke the fourth wall. Any references to the real world had to be made in the context of Reality's premise, and since it was careless and dangerous to give away one's true identity, it was difficult to speak about the real world much at all.

Not that Haseo particularly wanted to know who Kaoru was offline, but it had only taken one mission to see that Kaoru was strong and certain, the way that Haseo pretended to be when he was working. He wanted to know if Kaoru was like that in real life, or if this was his chance to be something he wasn't. For Haseo, it gave him the chance to be something that he was: uncertain.

Other online games were almost brutal to new players. But this one allowed new players like him to go about learning, figuring out his way, as long as he didn't make any mistakes that jeopardized their mission.

Haseo had grudgingly given his uncertainty a place in his mind a long time ago, because of the uncontrollable strength of his Skeith. And that had been it—he could have become a guardian, but he chose to become a PKK instead. Why?

Haseo tried to not remember. But it was so hard to forget, so very, very hard. No one ever forgot the moment that necessitated the Awakening of their Epitaph. The very surging fear that triggered the Epitaph branded the memory forever into permanence. Even if he lost his mind in his old age, it would be the one echo to remain by his side.

But the culprit's face had been in shadow. Of course. All he remembered: long hair black in the night, tattooed eyes. Not enough to catch a murderer. Not enough to avenge Silabus and Gaspard.

"Ryou? Are you all right?" Kaoru asked, snapping him back into virtual reality. "Have you finished reading the Epitaph of Twilight yet?"

Kaoru's character was a shut-in who still lived with his parents. The one time that Kaoru had breached the fourth wall in Reality was to wish aloud that he had been given more choice in his character's pre-determined background.

So they were in as private of a place as they could think of, a busy café whose chatter made it nearly impossible for others to hear them, even if they could barely hear each other.

"Not yet," Ryou responded.

The blood was hardest to get out of his mind's eye. Silabus had been run through his midsection with the PK's anguishing, oversized blade. He was not so much a corpse as a dissection. Gaspard had been no different.

He couldn't think about this. So instead, he thought about Kaoru, and if he was becoming a burden to Kaoru. This game depended so much more upon working together and Ryou was so comparatively far behind, he wondered if Kaoru begrudged how he had been paired with him.

Not that Kaoru ever did anything to suggest that. But if Haseo had to deal with someone like Ryou on his job, he would tell the inexperienced kid to go wait tables instead of PKK.

So," Ryou sighed and asked the inevitable question, "what does all this have to do with this player you mentioned?"

"That's what we're trying to figure out, aren't we? Officially, he was quite the celebrity. He's only known as the Twilight Dragon. A legendary title, like 'Descendant of Fianna'. So there's the most obvious connection to Lord Balmung. But if things were obvious, then we wouldn't be having this conversation. It's estimated that he logged in for the first time shortly after the Twilight—"

"The Twilight? What's that?"

But Kaoru didn't get the chance to answer. Haseo froze as the screen flashed in front of his eyes. Something was wrong. Something was horribly wrong.

There was a sea of white noise. Flashing erratically, the screen made him close his eyes; screeching pierced his ears. Haseo reached up to take the set off his head, but then a bell tone cut through the noise and resonated so deep he felt it was sounding from inside his own head and jarring through him like a shockwave. White hot pain spread from behind his eyes to his entire body. Then words flashed in front of his eyes, too fast, and everything was black.

Haseo woke to an insistent and annoying voice message. Stumbling through his headache, he somehow managed to cross the room to the complaining phone.

"… and I hope the fact that you didn't check in means that you're so dedicated to hunting down the Guardian Killer that you're tracking her right now," his 'boss' Antares growled at him scathingly. "G.U.'s got a nice under the table bonus for whoever can get her, since the Cobalt Knights are worthless against PKs of her caliber. Big surprise."

"But in case you're hung over or something like it, Bordeaux's going to be at the Lumina Cloth black market sometime between the hours of six and eight this evening. Don't take advantage of how generous I'm being today, because it's not my pocketbook that's taking the blow if someone gets to her first. Got it, Terror of Death?"

Haseo sighed heavily. He was certainly feeling terrible enough for a hangover to be a distinct possibility.

"Damn, what happened last night? Maybe I did get hammered," Haseo muttered thoughtfully as he scrounged around his kitchen for something—anything— to eat that would settle his bearings.

He should have been glad he wasn't fired on the spot. But instead he frowned because the only thing he could find was toasting bread and cold coffee. He didn't even want to think about why there was coffee in the fridge.

Now he remembered. He had met Kuhn and Pi after work, with Atoli.

"Let's go get drinks," Kuhn said.

"Sure, never mind Atoli," Pi said, because she knew that Atoli would never stand up for herself.

"I meant coffee," Kuhn laughed, and everyone laughed with him. Haseo let his gaze wander over the crowds of Mac Anu. It was uplifting to see so many people here at Mac Anu, just five years later. It really was the Eternal City. "How about here?"

Kuhn's choice was one of the more popular places on the strand that evening, and a quick scan of the female-to-male ratio in the closely comfortable café explained why.

"Hey," he waved to one of the baristas, and it became apparent that it was one of his regular places. Haseo watched as Pi whispered something to Atoli, who stifled a giggle.

He rolled his eyes, but then caught his breath as he saw someone that seized up the cold in his chest. Reminding himself that this wasn't the right place or the right time, Haseo made himself take his eyes away from the woman sitting up at the bar, drinking something murky and dark. He listened instead.

"Are you sure that Dun Loireag's clear?" the bookish-looking woman next to her wanted to know.

"I'm sure, I've been there countless times. Someone would have seen him. I don't think he's staying in one place very long. But at the same time, how could people miss him? It's not like he has a forgettable face. Not now, anyways, thanks to what they did to him."

"Maybe you'll get lucky in Dol Dona."

"Maybe."

It wasn't Bordeaux. At least, it wasn't Bordeaux in the sense that he wasn't the Terror of Death. He wasn't the Terror of Death right now. He could pursue Bordeaux now, if he wanted, but not without compromising his very life. If he went after her now, he would have to disappear after collecting the money. For a very long time. Sometimes that was tempting, but not today.

Who was she looking for? Probably someone to kill.

"…I feel a little bad for leaving Endrance with Saku and Bo, what with AIDA flaring up as it is," Pi remarked as Haseo faded back into the present conversation.

"Hey, Endrance doesn't look like it, but he's more than capable of watching out for those two while they learn the ropes. Besides, Ovan and Shino are supposed to sign in halfway through their shift. The bad stuff never happens until late after sunset," Kuhn said.

Pi didn't seem convinced, but she didn't take the conversation any further. They were supposed to be taking a break from work, after all.

"Wait, are those two kids seriously guardians?" Haseo wanted to know. "I don't believe their Epitaphs Awoke that early."

Pi shrugged. "It's been happening earlier and earlier, according to Master Yata. Atoli, you've Awoken, right?"

Atoli nodded. "Yes, during the AIDA attack a couple of months ago," she answered vaguely.

Right there. Whenever her voice faded away like that, Haseo knew she was lying.

"I never heard about how you Awoke, Haseo," Kuhn added.

Haseo cleared his throat, and shook away the blood-soaked image that Kuhn's innocent question conjured. "I was attacked by a PK," he answered quickly.

"Makes you wonder if Moon Tree people have Epitaphs, since they're so non-confrontational," Kuhn joked.

"They do," Atoli said quietly. "Sakaki… is a Gorre. A Machinator."

Returning to the present, Haseo rummaged around for his things. He would get food on the way. If he wanted to go after Bordeaux tonight, the Lumina Cloth black market was a tough location to break. It was one where his Terror of Death identity would be more than easily recognized.


	3. Inaction and Charcoal Melancholia

Disclaimer: I don't own .hack. But everything not associated with .hack (original plot, etc.) does belong to me.

This is Endrance's first chapter (Haseo has to share). As always, please enjoy and let me know what you think! Feel free to let me know about any questions you might have. If it isn't a terrible spoiler, I'll answer!

~greyrondo

"He wasn't anything like Elk," Balmung said defensively, darting his glare towards Reki.

"He was everything like Elk, in his own way," Reki insisted, looking away through the stained glass windows. It was impossible to see clearly through them; the stained-glass gave the world a fractured appearance. "He never said anything. The way he looked at you made you feel guilty for breathing the same air as him, as if you were hurting him simply by stealing his breath."

"That's just what his face looked like. With those eyes, it was hard to tell what he was actually thinking at any given time."

"You would know," Reki sighed impatiently. "He could have been a monster from the start, and we never would have known. No, he was a monster from the start. No ordinary Epitaph would have gone after Ovan's sister. Not with an Epitaph like hers."

"That wasn't his fault—"

"That wasn't the only time something like that happened! What about Lycoris? Are you telling me that it was just a coincidence that his Epitaph happened to outright kill that little girl, knowing that she had the same special Epitaph as Ovan's little sister?"

"It wasn't his fault. It was Jun's."

"Didn't he attack Ovan's little sister without even fully Awakening? And Lycoris, too? How can you blame Jun when an Epitaph wasn't even involved?"

"Because I—I don't have an answer for you. Maybe he was a monster."

**Chapter Three: Inaction and Charcoal Melancholia**

Endrance walked in the door with Saku and Bo tripping at his ankles just as Pi threw an aggravated sigh at her monitor. If Pi kept up typing the way she did, the keyboard would break in a week. It would be her third keyboard since spring.

"Sorry for calling you at such late notice. I didn't really think that Yata would force me to take tonight off with Kuhn," she said as he passed by her desk, but she didn't look up. "Shino and Ovan are on for tonight with you and the twins. Monarch and Zamiel are on call when things get bad."

He smiled wearily and stopped. Not so long ago, she would have used 'if' instead of 'when.' "I'm sure that Monarch can keep this place together passably while you take the night off."

"Monarch isn't who he used to be," Pi murmured, and then the monitor went blank. She stood up, and began to absentmindedly nudge everything on her desk into order.

"Come on, En," Saku pulled at his hand.

"Just a moment, I'm talking to Pi. You go on ahead with Bo; I'll be just a moment," he said distractedly. "If it would make you feel better, you should call Monarch in early."

Saku pouted, but then ran off with her brother.

Pi watched them go upstairs, and then shook her head. "I wouldn't put you and the twins through that," she said quietly. "There's so much stress around here, you'd think it was the flu. Speaking of, Alkaid's still here. Don't tell her I warned you, but like I said with Monarch, if you're not in the mood for confrontation, you know now, so you can lay low if you like."

"Thanks," Endrance said softly. "I think I'll do that."

But then Pi cleared her throat. "There's nothing you can do about Monarch, but Zamiel's been meaning to speak with you for a while and I don't think that there's any ill will behind it. Also, I'd patch things up with Alkaid when you can. Just saying."

To that, Endrance didn't know how to respond. He slipped by Pi's desk without as much as a goodbye.

This was not the world that Elk had known.

Elk was his real name. In fact, it was his name until the Outbreak, when he had Awoken. Elk had worked at G.U., not as a guardian, but as an assistant to Pi and to the one everyone now called Monarch. But he didn't want to think about that.

He didn't want to think about much of anything, now that he considered it.

After he Awoke, he cast aside Elk and put on Endrance like a garment made of slick, oily fabric that crept along his skin. Elk couldn't handle an existence like the one that waited for him after he had Awoken. Endrance was saving him.

But Endrance was so much emptier than Elk had been.

Alkaid and Endrance hadn't talked since their argument three days ago. It was typical for the both of them to give each other the silent treatment, given how much Endrance preferred silence and how easily Alkaid became ticked off.

So before he entered the office, he caught himself and lingered outside the doorway when he heard Kuhn and Alkaid's voices.

"I'm getting worried about him," Kuhn remarked as he rummaged around. "I know it's his Epitaph, but it can't be that all Machas are like that. You know him more than I do, Alkaid. What's going on?"

"I wish I knew!" Alkaid exploded. "But we're— we're not really talking right now, if you totally couldn't guess. I," she began, and then sighed. "I just know that it feels really, really bad to watch your best friend wither away before your eyes and you can't do anything because he won't even talk to you!! Was Elk like this?"

"A lot of people changed after the Outbreak. It's hard to lose three-quarters of the population of The World and stay the same, especially when you're responsible for keeping it safe. That's what the Guardians' Union was organized for, after all."

"Sieg," Alkaid sighed, speaking his old name out of reflex. Sieg had been a famous guardian back then; it was a name everyone knew. "Hey, you did the best you could. No one expected AIDA to be so strong, even with what happened leading up to the Outbreak."

Kuhn continued as if he hadn't heard her. "You just have to walk through the ruins of Dun Loireag, Carmina Gadelica, Fort Ouph, Lia Fail—"

There was the abrupt sound of Alkaid's chair scraping backwards. "Enough, Kuhn! You can't erase the past. You can't bring back those cities, you can't bring back your old comrades. Yeah, the old leaders are gone. Wishing won't bring Kite, Blackrose or anyone else, back from the dead. You keep thinking like this, you'll quit like Antares, or you'll end up like Reki and Balmung—Monarch and Zamiel."

And then quiet. From the muffled sounds, Endrance could tell that Alkaid was trying hard not to cry, but failing miserably. There was the ruffled shift of clothing as Kuhn wrapped her in a comforting embrace.

"I mean," Alkaid continued, her voice choking up, "you just have to move—move forward, and protect The World the best you can. People are going to die, and we're going to have to watch people die, and watch people watch their friends die. The most we can do, is be there for the survivors, whether they want us to or not…"

"I want to help Endrance so bad," she finished. "But he won't let me! Kuhn, what's Fleurs du Mal?"

Endrance sighed to himself and continued on into another room. He didn't want to hear the rest of the conversation to come.

That night, Shino and Ovan didn't come in. So when Yata called in Monarch and Zamiel to replace them, Endrance prayed that a miracle would happen and AIDA wouldn't attack tonight, so he could stay invisible.


	4. Failure and Rationalizing Hue

Disclaimer: I don't own .hack. But everything not associated with .hack (original plot, etc.) does belong to me.

I remember when I read AI Buster, they had mistranslated Kamui's gender or had done something similar to lead me to believe that she was a man offline for the longest time. Please enjoy and review!

~greyrondo

"What are you doing here," Kamui of the Cobalt Knights called across the foyer of the Civil Control Commons. "I'm supposed to be meeting with a representative of G.U. in regards to the Guardian Killer, Zamiel."

The Civil Control Commons, built in the same green murk as the bottom of Mac Anu's canals, was fairly busy at this time of day. But even if it weren't, no one would have paid attention to Kamui's cold outburst. At least, no one would have made it obvious.

"You are," Zamiel responded. "Pi's busy. What with Ovan and Shino being dead, and all. Still no success, I'm guessing."

Kamui glared at him. "Tell me one good reason why I should even give you the time of day."

"Because it's your job?" Zamiel mused. "Any progress, at least? You have to give me something to bring back to Pi."

"We're stretched rather thin at the moment," Kamui said to him. "You've heard what Lady Subaru and Lord Crim did, right?"

"Then you should be fine. You don't have to send your knights to Dol Dona if the Crimson Knights say they don't want the CCC's help, am I right? I'm sorry; quite frankly, you tend to put me in a bad mood."

"Likewise. Why, do I remind you of someone you'd rather not think about?" she said, and held his stare with her off-colored eyes.

"If the only news you had was news of your continued incompetence, you could have sent Magi," Zamiel told her as he turned away.

"What, are you afraid of the Guardian Killer? Worried that you're the next target?" Kamui called out after him. He didn't reply.

**Chapter Four: Failure and Rationalizing Hue**

_This isn't good, this isn't good… _Haseo fretted in his mind as he skulked in the shadows. He knelt down, the knees of his PKK guise sinking into the ashes of the dark hollow ruins that had once been the great metropolis Carmina Gadelica.

He was already on edge from earlier: for some reason, the Cobalt Knights had been put on alert and they were all over the streets of Lumina Cloth. Now, it was well past midnight, and after stalking Bordeaux for several hours, he felt frayed at the edges.

Lumina Cloth had been built with its foundation upon the charred skeleton of Carmina Gadelica. But certain places were still unsafe. Haseo gritted his teeth together, demanding obedience from his Skeith, who wanted to tear into the AIDA flitting at the edges of Haseo's sight very badly.

But for all its stirrings, he knew his Skeith wouldn't come out. Blood was his Terror of Death's trigger, and without it, Haseo was in complete control. But only without.

He wasn't supposed to be here. No one was supposed to be here.

The urban murmur from Lumina Cloth bled over into the vacant haze of Carmina Gadelica's gutted remains. Haseo screened all extraneous noise out, focusing only on the closer sounds at hand. Like Bordeaux's footsteps.

Carefully, very carefully, Haseo's monstrous form ripped itself from the shadows and stalked the object of his hunt. He had been given plenty of chances to strike earlier, but the fact that Bordeaux had meandered into the forbidden zone meant that she was meeting others of her kind.

Haseo only had one real goal in mind: to find the PK that murdered his friends and awakened his Epitaph. But he could hardly proclaim himself as a PKK with only one target. Once he entered the business, he was entirely submerged in the cycle of blade and death.

Silabus had been a Fidchell, Gaspard a Magus. Neither was strong enough to possibly defend himself; their Epitaphs didn't even trigger at all without the presence of AIDA.

Lumina Cloth was supposed to be a safe place to go at night. Everyone stayed out late, and as long as you didn't do anything that would attract the attention of the Cobalt Knights, nobody minded.

Haseo had still wanted to do something substantial with his life then. Silabus and Gaspard were the better students by far, but Haseo managed the classes he had to take and concentrated on history.

What a useless subject to study, he thought. But it was what he had wanted for himself then, to compare the old cities and old legends about the Wave and its parallels with the current AIDA invasion today. That was why he hadn't really paid attention when Kaoru had wanted him to read the Epitaph of Twilight. He had memorized it years ago.

His biggest concern back then had been, ironically enough, when his Epitaph would awaken. Nobody wanted their Epitaph to awaken, because Epitaphs only awoke under threat of AIDA. Most Epitaphs, anyways. But it was still something to think about.

It had started out with Haseo knew of now as the textbook scare tactics that PKs loved to indulge in. But he had been frightened then.

"Did you hear something?" Gaspard had murmured. But he wasn't really afraid, not yet.

"It's nothing," Haseo said easily. "Hey, Silabus, seriously—Silabus?"

"Where'd Silabus go?" Gaspard said, panicked now. "They really should replace the lights in this area."

Of course it was too perfect for the lights to give a feeble, last flicker at just that moment in time.

"Silabus!!" Haseo cried out. He saw the blood, soaking the streets and pooling in the gutters. The scent of it clouded his head and dizzied his vision.

He vaguely felt Gaspard clinging to his arm, only vaguely heard the footsteps and the sound of a PK's blade theatrically dragging along the pavement. Silabus was dead, and there was blood, and so much of it…

Haseo blinked back to the present and halted in his pursuit.

"Good evening, Bordeaux," an oily voice said to the barely-dressed hunter. And Haseo frowned. It was familiar. Was it… no, it wasn't his voice. That would have been too perfect. It was slightly different.

But years had passed, and voices were one thing that changed under circumstance and time. He kept listening, wishing that Bordeaux wasn't the only one in view.

"Hello, Machinator," she purred. "You told me that's what I should call you. Shouldn't you refer to me as the Terror of Death, then?"

"I believe that would be in somewhat bad taste," her correspondent replied coldly. "Besides, I'm not in the best mood today. Two guardians died today. A Fidchell and a Corbenik. They know it was you."

"Of course they know it's me. The only other thing knocking off those guardians is AIDA. I thought you said that you weren't interested in Shino and Ovan. That you had those two in mind for your Prophet and Rebirth."

"Something wrong with saying Monarch and Zamiel's names?"

Bordeaux laughed coldly. "Not if what you do to them is worse than what I would do."

The guardians Shino and Ovan were dead. That would explain why there were more Cobalt Knights present in the streets of Lumina Cloth than usual. Haseo squatted down closer in the shadows. Not only had Bordeaux murdered those guardians, but she wanted to go after Monarch and Zamiel, too. Monarch and Zamiel were famous—they gave Haseo a chill, but they were famous. And Bordeaux had a grudge against them.

Which wasn't all that surprising. Monarch and Zamiel were known for taking their roles as guardians a little too seriously. During the chaos that followed the Outbreak, they had probably done some work that the Cobalt Knights couldn't handle. Not unlike Haseo was doing, right now.

"I assure you, the process is not kind to its subjects. But like I said, while they are the ones I am most interested in, I need substitutes just in case they disappear. Like a certain someone that you're wasting your time looking for."

"You talk about my motives, I'll talk about yours. Be careful, Machinator. And besides, wouldn't Yata make a better substitute than Shino?"

"I suppose Yata would, since he is alive, and Shino is dead. But I specifically told you that Ovan was the best substitute for Zamiel, taking the events that led to the Outbreak into account. Could you really not resist?"

"No," Bordeaux answered, her voice laden with chemical sugar. "I really couldn't. Besides, he was right there with Shino, what else was I supposed to do?"

"Possibly, you could have remembered that he was only following orders during that time leading up to the Outbreak."

"If I used that logic, then I would have to let Zamiel and Monarch off the hook, too."

"Aura forbid," the one called the Machinator sighed sarcastically. "Get out of my sight before someone sees me talking to you. Or the other way around."

There was no questioning it. That was the voice. The voice of the one who had made a game out of his friends' corpses.

He let Bordeaux go. There was nothing else he could do. All it had taken was the voice of the PK who had murdered his friends to break down the façade of his alter ego, the Terror of Death.

He gathered himself together just in time to hit the lights of Lumina Cloth. The black market conducted itself in the shadows of the streets below the Arena; no one would confront him as long as he kept thoroughly to himself. In that darkness, they were all outlaws.

But he heard the busy shuffling of machinery from up above, where the Arena was setting up for the annual Guardian Palace tournament. As Pi put it, the Guardian Palace was organized as an exhibition on the behalf the population of The World. Its purpose was to put faith in the people's hearts, to prove to them that their guardians were up to the task.

It was also used as a voluntary draft, where people wanting to be guardians could participate if they think they have gained mastery over their Epitaphs. While those with immediate control were automatically forwarded to G.U., there was always room for growth, at the rate at which guardians died in the field.

Haseo looked up, but didn't stop walking: that would have been an unwise move. But he slowed his pace, because he recognized the group under the eaves: Fleurs du Mal. He quickly identified the ones every PKK should know: Dreaming Poppy, Mourning Lily, and Deadly Belladonna.

The only reason they were still alive was that they didn't so much PK anymore; they had a business, one that did very well for what it was.

Haseo had nearly passed by them entirely when he caught sight of the one lingering even further into the shadows than the rest.

It was the young man that Atoli had pointed out earlier, the one with the Macha for an Epitaph. The one who worked for G.U. with Pi and Kuhn. What was he doing here, with Fleurs du Mal?

Maybe he was in trouble. But when Haseo inadvertently caught his eye, the look he received was one that told all to stay out of business that wasn't theirs.

If Haseo hadn't been returning from such a pathetic failure, he would have been more than ecstatic to oblige. But he wasn't thinking straight, so he paused for a moment, even though the guardian wouldn't recognize him.

Then he continued walking until he left the black market streets.

"Terror of Death," an unpleasant voice rasped from a doorway to his right. Haseo cringed a little inside, and then looked around. No one was paying attention. And no one would care. The doorway led, after all, to a bar.

"Antares," Haseo nodded arrogantly.

"Cut the crap, kid, I can tell you're off the clock by the way you're drooping your shoulders. Come on in and get yourself out of that get-up before the authorities come around here. What kind of PKK are you?"

'Thanks, boss," Haseo muttered dryly, smudging the expertly drawn-on tattoos on his cheeks as he began to wipe them off. A special trick of his boss's, those drawings faked a person's birthmarks; it was near impossible to falsify birthmarks and so, when applied perfectly, they were as good of a disguise as any.

"So what'd you do with the body?" Antares growled.

"Huh?" Haseo said, looking up as he walked over to a dirty sink and mirror. None of his fellow PKKs were here: that was good. No need to tell his competitors that Bordeaux was still alive and well. "Oh, uh…"

And Antares sighed. "Don't tell me, I already know. All this means to me is that I can't take Bordeaux's name off the list yet. You're disappointing me, kid. And G.U., too."

"I know."

"So what happened?"

Haseo blinked. "I thought you already knew?"

"I do, so what happened?"

Haseo stopped for a moment. "I… lost her trail," he reported. And he took off his gauntlets, becoming once again the uncertain person he always had been. "Antares, do you know of a guy named Ovan?"

"Ovan? Never heard of him," Antares said sharply. "Why, he a friend of yours looking for a PKK job?"

"Ovan is one of Bordeaux's latest victims. I know it's not really my business, but do you know why Bordeaux has such a grudge against G.U.? I overheard her talking to someone about—about her kills—and it didn't seem like usual Chaotic PK behavior. She's really got something against those two Monarch and Zamiel in particular."

Antares didn't look at him. "Terror, pick out anyone, even a Cobalt Knight, on the street and you can bet they'd like to beat up either Monarch or Zamiel for some reason or another. I'm not exactly an expert on G.U. dynamics, but from what I hear, those two don't make friends. Just do your job."

Haseo peeled off the rest of his armor, just as Antares added, "if you know a PK's motives, you know what to do. Exploit them."


	5. Subservience and Alternating Tangerine

Disclaimer: I don't own .hack. But everything not associated with .hack (original plot, etc.) does belong to me.

Originally, this story was just about Haseo and Endrance (it still is, really...) but the release of the .hack//LINK character art motivated me to alter the plot to include a lot more, because .hack just isn't .hack if there aren't multiple layers of involvement from characters outside the main two! And I'm glad I did; while the original story just dealt with Sakaki in a more exaggerated role, this one is more suited to my original intent, to explore the characters' different views on how to save the world. Please enjoy, and please review!

~greyrondo

"Well, at least you won't have to avoid Ovan anymore. That's not what you should be worrying about, I know, but there aren't very many positives to go around whenever someone is murdered," Reki remarked as the doors of the cathedral opened. He stood near the entrance, far from the altar, watching.

"But why Shino?" Balmung wanted to know as he entered the great hall. "She didn't have anything to do with him. Would she really deserve death just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time?"

Reki shrugged. "I'm more concerned about the fact that Kamui hasn't figured out the pattern yet."

"I think she has," Balmung sighed. "I ran into her. That's not the right word; I met with her to discuss the Guardian Killer. She insinuated that I was afraid I would be next. Not that she seemed all that concerned for herself."

"Even if she were a guardian, Kamui doesn't exactly meet the criteria. Not like Ovan. Not like you. Shino's death was an accident, but I think that revenge becomes kind of counterproductive when random people get thrown in. Kamui is safe."

"Then what about Jun?"

"He could have been the first victim, for all we know," Reki said. "It's not like the CCC keeps tabs on the Lumina Cloth underworld in the same way that it does on G.U."

"He's still alive," Balmung told him. "Elk wouldn't be acting as strange if Jun were dead."

"Speaking of, I have to leave," Reki said then. "I have an appointment that I can't reschedule. Don't worry, it's nothing serious."

**Chapter Five: Subservience and Alternating Tangerine**

Haseo didn't feel ecstatic about hunting down Bordeaux using her weakness—her motive—as a tool. It wasn't that the PKs were any more noble than that, but what he had overheard made him curious. That, and as long as Bordeaux was alive, he had a link—in its own weird way—to the PK who had killed his friends.

His boss had been too quick to dismiss the name 'Ovan' when he brought it up. It sounded suspicious. Not that Antares was the kind to share and care, but the way he behaved was almost defensive, as if he didn't want to be connected to that name in any way.

Haseo didn't know anything about what Antares had done with his life before PKKing, he knew that Bordeaux's appearance on the PK scene corresponded roughly with the unorganized time following the Outbreak, which was about the same time that Antares stepped in as a PKK. And Bordeaux couldn't be more than five or six years older than Haseo; she looked old when she killed, to be sure, but who didn't?

"You play a dot hacker online? What's a dot hacker?" he asked Kaoru. In an attempt to escape the questions surrounding Bordeaux, he had logged onto Reality. It didn't work.

"You haven't heard of the dot hackers before?" Kaoru asked with a small laugh. "The dot hackers are the group of players who were heavily involved in the Twilight, which I was trying to explain last time when we were unexpectedly interrupted."

"By the way, I'm really sorry that I didn't log back on after that weird network outage. Did the servers just crash, or what?"

"Well, this version of the game is still being tested. I mean, CC Corp. must have been interfering with the system," Kaoru joked lightly. "What happened to you, since you didn't log back on? Are you all right, offline? You aren't hurt, are you?"

"No, no, I'm fine," Ryou told him quickly. "I just got knocked out for a bit and I didn't come around until late."

Kaoru looked at him, and then laughed quietly. "That tired? Are you a Cobalt Knight or something?"

"Maybe I am," Ryou joked. "Maybe I'm Kamui offline."

"Right. And maybe I'm Sakaki of Moon Tree," Kaoru retorted.

Ryou visibly shuddered. "If you are, tell me now."

"Don't worry. I'm not nearly talkative enough to be Sakaki, and I'm afraid I don't really buy into half of what Moon Tree proclaims. I'm sorry—I mean, if you do," Kaoru apologized quickly. "They're just not my cup of tea."

"I'm not exactly partial to them, myself," Ryou added quietly. He didn't like the way that Moon Tree made Atoli so uneasy. "By the way, uh, while we're talking about the real world, how much is this game supposed to correspond to it, anyways?"

Kaoru shrugged. "I'm not sure, frankly. Ryou, do you know who Harald Hoerwick is?"

Ryou shook his head.

"He's the reason this all started," Kaoru said quietly. "In this game, anyways. He fell in love with Emma Wielant, the author who wrote the Epitaph of Twilight. It was a novel, but the Epitaph that we have today is all that remains because of an incredibly devastating internet crash. Because they couldn't be together, he made the first version of The World as a recreation of her novel's universe. He made a daughter program, Aura. And he also made a mother for that daughter, Morganna. But his game became infected by a virus. The Wave."

"The Wave? Aura? Morganna?" Ryou repeated. This was all fundamental creation mythology in the real world, minus Harald Hoerwick and Emma Wielant, of course.

"He was really devoted to her," Ryou replied. "So how does the Twilight Dragon fit into that? How exactly are Lord Balmung—I mean, the player character Balmung—and the Twilight Dragon related?" Ryou wanted to know. Everything was synced with the real world so far, except for the Twilight Dragon. There was no famous individual named The Twilight Dragon in the real world, unless you counted mythology.

"What is it that we already know, I guess I'm asking," Ryou added. "If we knew everything—"

"Then we wouldn't be here," Kaoru finished. "I'm saying that too often, aren't I?"

"A little."

"Don't hold it against me," Kaoru smiled. "I've heard only a few things about The Twilight Dragon's relationship with Balmung."

"Yes, they were close," Kaoru said in response to Ryou's paled expression. "But if it was in that way, they certainly hid it very, very well. Balmung was working for CC Corporation at the time—well, he still does. There's been mentioned a 'betrayal', but nothing more," Kaoru said quietly.

"A 'betrayal'… but that could mean anything. It could mean that Balmung betrayed the Twilight Dragon, or the other way around. Or that the person involved in the betrayal was only one of them, and someone on the outside. Or two outsiders close to either one of them. I don't think that we know enough just yet," Ryou began. But he didn't continue. Instead, he looked up. "Kaoru!"

A young man stood patiently behind Kaoru. He dressed in a dark, anonymous suit and with his glasses and his small and wiry frame, he looked as if he had just graduated from college and had no place in the business world.

"Ryou Misaki, Kaoru Ichinose. Please come with me," he said politely. But his voice was firm.

Kaoru turned around, and smiled gently. "Pardon me, but may I ask who you are?"

"I'm Satoshi Fujio. I'm from the CC Corporation, and I have a few questions for the both of you."

"Oh, are you asking us to fill out a survey?" Kaoru asked brightly, feigning naïveté.

Satoshi Fujio smiled thinly. "Not exactly."

Kaoru stood up slowly. "Hm… I wonder if you know who I am in real life? I can tell that you're not an NPC, because you have too much of a personality. Which makes you a little like… an online PK…? I didn't know that there could be players on the other side. On Triple C's, I mean. But I suppose that people come from all over?"

"I think you have real life and The World confused. The World is just a game. What is real is the threat your group presents to the CC Corporation," Satoshi Fujio said, keeping perfectly within the limits of the game. "Which is why we're going to talk. You two aren't nearly careful enough; I can't let the CC Corporation get to either of you."

"Wait," Ryou interrupted. "I thought you said you work for the CC Corporation!"

"The CC Corporation pays my salary," Satoshi Fujio said, "but the only person I work for is my boss. A dot hacker. Does that information make you more cooperative?"

"Another dot hacker?" Kaoru asked. "Well, that's certainly something. But I think that Ryou has doubts, doubts that I share."

"Got that right," Ryou told him. "Why should we believe that you're who you say you are?"

"Because you were talking about my boss just before I interrupted you. My boss's name is Yukito Kurosaki, perhaps better known as Lord Balmung of Azure Sky, Descendant of Fianna. He's searching for the Twilight Dragon too, and he believes that we can come to some sort of business agreement."


	6. Cyanotic Weft and Negotiation

Disclaimer: I don't own .hack. But everything not associated with .hack (original plot, etc.) does belong to me.

It bothers me that Dreaming Poppy's character is only mentioned as background information in the history of The World. He had so much to do with the transition period between R:1 and R:2 (in the canon) and he's so important in this fic that I wish I had more to go from! Please enjoy, and please review!

~greyrondo

Balmung walked out of the cathedral, closing the door behind him. He had been alone that time, like he always was when he didn't want Reki to distract him from sinking into abstraction.

Sometimes he knew that it was better to only regard the matter from a practical standpoint. Those were the days he spoke to Reki. But there were the other times, when it seemed cold and comfortable to stand in one place for a while. The places where he ended up standing were rarely comfortable, though.

They had met through Lord Orca, inside the AIDA battle simulation Fragment that G.U. used. Balmung wouldn't learn until much later that it would have been impossible for them to meet elsewhere.

"My name is Lord Balmung of Azure Sky," Balmung said as he reluctantly offered his hand, determined at least to be the better man of the two when all that the dark-haired, tanned young man had offered was a half blue, half gold glare. "Ah—"

"Albireo," Lord Orca volunteered with a little too much enthusiasm. "Albireo, Balmung didn't really mean it when he insinuated that you'd stolen that spear of yours. Right, Balmung?"

"Certainly," Balmung said for solely Lord Orca's benefit. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Albireo. How are you faring?"

Albireo didn't take his hand. "I'll have you know that I inherited the spear from my family. It was mine before I was born. It's not my fault that I wield it, any more than it's your fault that you were born a Corbenik."

**Chapter Six: Cyanotic Weft and Negotiation**

Endrance would be lying if he told anyone that he was entirely mournful of Ovan's death. Shino was another story, but he felt guilty about being the slightest bit happy that Ovan wasn't around to harass him anymore.

It was never anything enough to complain to Yata about, but Ovan had a way of inexplicably knowing when Endrance felt the most uncertain about his abilities and place in G.U., and softly tell Endrance that he should quit. That he should put as much distance between himself and G.U. as possible and do something different with his life.

But if he left G.U., where would he be? He would never escape the thorns of Fleurs du Mal. Ovan's subtle ridicule was nothing compared to his other 'job.'

"You know, you remind me of someone. He didn't look anything like you," Dreaming Poppy said through the haze of Fleur du Mal's den. Endrance didn't look up; he merely followed the grain of the wood tiles along the floor with his eyes until it stopped at Dreaming Poppy's heels.

Endrance wanted to reply that Dreaming Poppy reminded him of someone too, and that someone was Endrance's other boss, Pi. Aside from the similar features, they also both wore woman's clothing. But comments like that never got spoken aloud.

"Well, he was as beautiful as you, but not in the same way. Your features are much more refined than his," Dreaming Poppy rambled. The only time that Dreaming Poppy made complete sense was when he ever so gently reminded Endrance that he was a perfectly accomplished PK, and therefore Endrance's employment with Fleurs du Mal was not an option.

"And you're taller. You take better care of yourself," Dreaming Poppy continued. Was he daydreaming about an ex-boyfriend? "What is it, then?"

Not that everyone who worked with Fleurs du Mal dealt with Dreaming Poppy's threats. Some, like Midori, even advertised that she 'wanted to be PKed', except that everyone knew what she really meant.

"I know what it is," Dreaming Poppy mused. "The look he would get in his eyes is like the look you try to hide whenever I tell you that you have a customer. The look of fear. But you're getting paid for it and he wasn't, so I suppose you're the luckier one. You do have a customer, by the way."

Endrance looked up.

"That's the look I'm talking about," Dreaming Poppy stated simply as he exhaled, contributing to the haze of smoke and incense. "I swear to Aura that this job is far beneath my true calling, but it does have its privileges. I get to see that look of fear in your eyes," he laughed quietly, and nodded at the door behind Endrance.

As Endrance left and closed the door behind him, he sincerely wished that Dreaming Poppy would go off and pursue his 'true calling', whatever it was, since he talked about it so much.

"Sadistic bastard," Endrance murmured carelessly as he turned the corner.

"He's taken a liking to you, hm, Blue Rose?"

Endrance panicked in the flash of an instant before he recognized Midori's voice. If he had run into Mourning Lily or Deadly Belladonna in these dark hallways instead of her after saying something like that about Dreaming Poppy, then he never would have heard the end of it.

Midori chuckled as she removed a card from her kimono sleeves, and passed it to him between her two painted fingernails. "Don't try reading in this light, you'll only strain your eyes. Your customer is waiting for you in Indieglut Lugh. So what have you done to attract Dreaming Poppy's eye?"

"I do wish you wouldn't put it like that," he admitted.

"You're too shy for this business, Endrance. But you have a contract with Dreaming Poppy, don't you?"

"Why are you here, Midori?" Endrance asked.

"The same reason you are. I have something that many, many people would pay for. You care too much, don't you? You're a Macha and so am I; don't think I don't know how your mind works. What more, you don't like people taking advantage of you, do you? But you don't know how to tell them no. That's how you got here in the first place, isn't it? They trapped you, Fleurs du Mal, didn't they?"

"Yes," Endrance whispered.

"Thought so," Midori told him. "Why don't you look at it my way? You're the one taking advantage of them, not the other way around. You're so beautiful that you can have them and their money all at once. There's nothing significant about what we do, Endrance. It's just a transaction. Nothing more."

Endrance didn't say anything.

"Does that help?" she asked him then.

"I'm not sure yet," Endrance told her uncertainly. "I… I'd better get going."

"All right, Blue Rose. But remember what I said."

Endrance left Fleurs du Mal and soon found himself in the respectable part of Lumina Cloth, near the Arena. And he sighed. The Palace was coming up soon, and he really had little desire to participate, even though it was mandatory for all guardians.

He didn't think about it. Instead, he kept walking. He wondered what kind of customer would choose a dangerous location like Indieglut Lugh, and then decided he was better off not thinking about that, either.

"Hey, En. What's up?"

Endrance looked around, half in panic. That was Alkaid's voice. If she caught a hint of what he was doing, then he didn't know how he would ever look at her in the eye again.

Alkaid sidled up to him, and beamed visibly. "I don't see you around so much anymore. You've been busy," she laughed carefreely. "Don't want to see your old buddy Alkaid nowadays. S'all right, I get it. Not cool to hang around a roughhousing Tarvos, huh?"

She darted half in front of Endrance and looked up at his face. It had been too long since he had spent time with Alkaid, and that was no way to repay her adamant friendship. But the silence had been for good reason, even though Endrance could not quite describe with words the intensity of the feeling of necessity there had been.

"Hey, I'm just joking around with you, Endrance. It's good to see your face again, it really is. I, uh, wanted to apologize for not talking to you just because you wouldn't tell me what you're doing with your own business. Kuhn told me to back off or I'll come off as a stalker."

Endrance smiled for her on cue, just to put her at ease, and she visibly brightened.

"If I tell you a secret, will you keep it?" she asked conspiratorially. "Wait, of course you will. I shouldn't doubt you for a second. I really don't want to give up my title as Emperor. I know it's selfish, but it's what I really want."

She sighed. "I just want to be good at something in my own right. At G.U., I'm always on for support because I'm a Tarvos. At the Palace, I can really show my stuff."

Endrance looked at her. "Alkaid," he said roughly, "don't worry. You'll do fine." He did want her to win the tournament again, if that was what she wanted. But he couldn't feel anything for her right now.

"Don't make me feel like such a jerk, Endrance! Now I feel even worse for getting mad at you! En, do you mind if we hang out for a while, like we used to? I really miss talking to you…"

"I—" Endrance began. "Alkaid, I…"

"En?" Alkaid said then, her voice suddenly sounding far away.

"I'm really sorry," he said, looking at the ground. "I can't. I'm running errands now. I'll see you at work later tonight."

But," Alkaid began, "I swapped with the twins, so you and me both have off tonight. You look like you could use a rest, Endrance. Kuhn said that the twins told him that you couldn't even summon your Epitaph during last night's AIDA flare…"

"I'm a Macha. It doesn't have anything to do with how tired I am," Endrance said quickly.

And Alkaid sighed in aggravation. "I'm intruding again, aren't I? Why am I such a nosy jerk? I'm sorry, En. Hey, have fun, whatever you're doing. Don't bother going to work, anyways. Hey, uh… wait," Alkaid stopped herself. "Forget about it. I'm going now. Bye, En!"

Her face was flawlessly cheerful as she waved and abruptly turned around and walked in the opposite direction.

Endrance stopped in the middle of the street. Then he convinced himself to keep walking until he stepped through the chaos gate into another place entirely.

Endrance took in a single breath, eyes craned high to the crown of the beautiful, strange place he had found himself inside.

Beauty here was in the white tree that glowed like moonlight cultivated and refined, surrounded by peaceful black waters and a soft, empty shore on the other side.

Time drifted frozen in the chilled cast of the unearthly blue light of the great tree's awning. Still under the haunting atrium's breathtaking spell, Endrance's legs buckled underneath him as he sat at the base of the trunk.

This was Indieglut Lugh. For a few more moments at least, before his customer arrived, this place was sanctuary, he knew immediately as he laid there.

What would it be like to be like this tree, he thought suddenly. To exist in The World as a part of the landscape: beautiful, but free from all feeling. All he would have to do was exist. Simple, painless.

Was it really emptiness that he sought, he wondered, then. Or just deeper comfort, deeper friendship, like Midori believed. But that business wasn't hers; why did she even waste her time thinking about him? And why did Alkaid care so much?

He blinked, suddenly afraid. Something had flickered at the edges of his vision, something dark and insubstantial.

It drifted through the air around him, gently waiting for him to acknowledge it. It didn't make sense, but he knew it was waiting, waiting for him to welcome it.

Don't be afraid, he suddenly told himself. At least, the voice inside his mind sounded enough like his. The more he doubted it, the more convincing it became. The black mass concentrated over him like a cloud.

His thoughts grew sluggish, slow with the sloth of luxurious comfort. He seemed almost in a trance, undazed as he was by the oddity that smogged the air. It pulled back a little, as if it were testing his desire for it to remain, and he wordlessly protested.

AIDA.

Endrance closed his eyes, and went to a place inside his memory that he rarely touched. He felt his Macha flare inside of him, and then the air cleared once more.

"That's quite the Epitaph you have there."

Endrance's eyes went wide. "...Zamiel?" he choked, looking up. "Oh, sorry, my mistake, I…"

The man with a shock of white hair walked up to the trunk of the tree, and stood over Endrance. "No mistake. So this is what it takes to get you to talk to me, Elk. Even though we work together now, you still find ways to disappear. I have to contact you through Fleurs du Mal."

Endrance's face flushed in embarrassment, and he couldn't meet the man's violet eyes.

"Not what I expected for the little tagger Elk when I saw you at G.U. your first day. But then again, no one expected you to have such a strong Awakening that day at Fort Ouph when Mia died."

"Why am I even here?" demanded Endrance quickly.

"Because I feel a debt towards Kite's friends, and mine. For putting up with me when I was Balmung. That's what I told everyone else, but it's taken so long to talk to you that I could add 'for putting up with me now that I'm Zamiel' onto that, too."

"You talked to everyone?" Endrance asked in half disbelief.

"There's not that many of us left. I made my apologies to Wiseman and Sieg early on, obviously, but Yata and Kuhn are right there in G.U. with us. Pi wouldn't accept my apology, though."

"I don't see why you feel the need to apologize for who you were—" Endrance told him.

"Funny, coming from the person whose expression seems to be an apology in and of itself," Zamiel commented.

"—And I don't see why you would speak to Pi," Endrance continued, hoping that Zamiel would forget the sentence he had just uttered aloud, because Endrance didn't want to think about its truthfulness.

"My apology to Pi went a little differently. I apologized to her for causing the Outbreak. And yes, I actually do still blame myself for that. So enough about me, I want to talk to you. What are you blaming yourself for?"

Endrance sighed. "Zamiel, are you paying for my time?"

"Yes, I am. And you don't come cheap, let me tell you that. I swear, if I didn't need to go through that Dreaming Poppy to get to you, I would have killed him. Not because of your price, but just something personal between myself and him."

"How do you know Dreaming Poppy?"

"Well, for one, I know him as an individual who represents the organization Fleurs du Mal, which is keeping you working for them against your will, is it not?"

Endrance felt that was hardly the only reason that made Zamiel so incensed, but didn't pry.

"I want you to quit working for Fleurs du Mal," Zamiel said simply. Before Endrance could respond, he added, "but I know it's not that easy. Which is why I have a favor to ask of you instead. I'll figure out a way to compensate you, don't worry. But I want you to get closer to Dreaming Poppy for me. There's something I want to know, something that I can't find out by myself."

Zamiel was quiet then.

"Are you going to tell me what that something is?" Endrance asked softly.

"If I knew what it was, we wouldn't be here," Zamiel told him. That made Endrance smile, but it was just for a moment before Zamiel continued. "It has something to do with why he keeps you close to him, and something to do with why Ovan was harassing you before he died."

"Ovan?" Endrance said breathlessly.

"I think it has something to do with your Epitaph," Zamiel admitted. "But I don't know enough yet. Tell me, Elk, are there any gaps in your memory? Maybe a time in your childhood when you don't remember much, but for no particular reason?"

Endrance shook his head. "I don't believe so."

"Well, in any case, my offer still stands. That being said, I don't quite know what to bring to the table just yet, but I'll think of something. I'm not going to just use you. I know you might not feel comfortable talking about this at work, but if you could find a way to let me know soon, then I would appreciate your help."

"I'll do it."

"So soon? I'd rather you think it over, as much as I want you to go along with me. I'm asking you to do something a little more difficult than, say, run an errand for me."

Run an errand. That was what Endrance had told Alkaid he was doing.

"No, I've decided. Because you were Lord Balmung. And because of Kite," Endrance added. Even though someone like Elk could not survive in this world, he wondered how it was that Elk had been so much better at making and keeping friends.


	7. Manifestation and Calico Reflex

Disclaimer: I don't own .hack. But everything not associated with .hack (original plot, etc.) does belong to me.

I just played .hack//GU for the first time in goodness knows how long, and I realized that I hadn't really progressed--at all--from the point where I was back when I wrote my HaseoxEndrance fic 'And Here You Are With Me' (and when this fic was an OC-driven quivering dish of green jello. Those were dark times...) I always get too caught up trying to unlock items from the Book of 1000 to progress with the plot, and since I already know what happens, I take my time.

Please enjoy, and please review!

~greyrondo

_Are you seriously leaving me with him? He's entirely useless in battle! I've reason to doubt that he even possesses an Awakened Epitaph. I've certainly never seen it._ Balmung typed in a private message to Orca as the three left G.U.'s simulated headquarters in Fragment. Balmung and Orca trailed behind Albireo, who seemed determined to leave them behind.

_Useless in battle? He's better at fighting infected individuals than you are! _Orca responded with an audible chuckle.

Albireo looked over his shoulder, almost as if he wanted to know what Orca thought was so funny, but then looked away again with an expression that made it clear that he didn't think speaking out loud was worth it.

_You two would make an excellent team; he weakens the individual, forcing out AIDA, and then you purge the virus with your Corbenik._

_I'd rather not. The thought of it makes me sympathize with his desire to remain a solo fighter. _

_You're not particularly social, yourself. You weren't exactly cordial to my friend Kite the other day. Face it; you two deserve each other. If you don't kill each other first,_ Orca added. _Anyways, I have to log off. I've got real AIDA to fight. Don't worry about his Epitaph. If you two hit it off well, you'll figure out what's going on soon enough._

_Is that supposed to be some sort of incentive to work with him? I get to discover the mystery of his Epitaph? Give me a break, Orca. Just because my Corbenik's mutation gives me the appearance of some legendary shadowless knight from the Epitaph doesn't mean I'm about to go charging off in search of the Twilight Dragon. Why is here even here?_

_Why are we all here?_

_Because…_

Balmung had an answer. But it wasn't something he wanted to say out loud to Orca, not when the entire world counted on the guardians to defend against AIDA. 'Because I'm forced to be here' was not the attitude a guardian should have.

_Because we want to protect this world._

_Exactly. Just remember that despite your differences, you're both here for the same reason._

**Chapter Seven: Manifestation and Calico Reflex**

Haseo told himself that he needed to stop thinking about how he had failed to kill Bordeaux. But that wasn't the issue. The real problem was that he hadn't wanted to kill her. He wanted her alive, so he could use her to pursue a phantom.

It was late, and he sat on a bench outside his apartment building because he couldn't drag himself back inside from the night air. He had logged out of Reality with a scary thrill running through him like adrenaline and caffeine. A brush with death had turned into a connection that a newcomer to the game like him could hardly expect to achieve. And since the game was all about making connections, keeping friends, expanding your network of information and knowledge, he wondered why he couldn't keep his real life as together.

Satoshi Fujio. He claimed that his boss was Yukito Kurosaki, an in-game version of Lord Balmung of Azure Sky. But Kaoru was fairly sure that the Satoshi Fujio they had dealt with was a player character, not an NPC, so did that mean that the real Balmung of Azure Sky played this game? That was hard to believe. More likely, the real person behind Yukito Kurosaki was some random gamer like Haseo, who just got lucky when their character was assigned to them.

Haseo wondered who Ryou was in The World. Who Kaoru was, even though Haseo already knew that Kaoru played a 'dot hacker' character. Maybe it was something he could find out; it was a part of who his character was, after all.

Then he looked up, and saw him. The guardian who Atoli said worked with Kuhn and Pi; the guardian who Haseo had caught with Fleurs du Mal.

He just walked by, with a flat expression. Nothing special. But just then Haseo had an idea as to why this guardian would be involved with Fleurs du Mal. He told himself not to think about a perfect stranger like that, but that guardian really was just what Fleurs du Mal looked out for when it needed new options for its clientele.

Haseo sighed to himself, and stood up. He needed to walk.

A game that promised the secret of the Twilight Dragon. The being that the shadowless ones sought out in the Epitaph of Twilight, in hopes that it could do… something. Maybe it could do anything, and that was why someone would want it.

In the game's story, Lord Balmung had spent time with the Twilight Dragon. He had found it, and apparently the Twilight Dragon was a player. That meant someone 'real', in the sense that this version of Lord Balmung was 'real.' And now, through Satoshi Fujio, Haseo knew that Lord Balmung wanted to find the Twilight Dragon again.

Haseo told himself that it was just a game. It had nothing to do with the real world. Except the real world was not the prettiest place to be right now, and not just for Haseo. There was AIDA. The Cobalt Knights couldn't protect the guardians who protected people from AIDA from Bordeaux. And the guardians themselves, Pi and Kuhn excepted, were either strangely disconnected from the rest of the world like Monarch and Zamiel—the real Lord Balmung— or they were too young, like the twins he had seen with that blue-haired guardian.

If the Twilight Dragon was really what the Epitaph of Twilight hinted it was, then the real world could certainly use one.

But those were just legends. People prayed to Aura, but Haseo didn't remember the last time he had visited the Hulle Ganz Cathedral. No one went to the cathedral to pray anymore, not since it became infected with AIDA like the rest of the 'Lost Grounds'—the ruins that were the only evidence that the tale described in the Epitaph of Twilight might have had some foundation in truth.

He had his own mysteries to solve. He needed to find Silabus and Gaspard's murderer.

Haseo wandered until he found himself in the bright, heady lights of the busier part of Breg Epona. It was like an aurora in neon and electricity; it was the kind of light that just made everything else seem darker. He kept walking, knowing he wouldn't be able to go to sleep anytime soon anyways. These thoughts carried him through two plazas without realizing it, and soon he had found himself in a less-than friendly area.

He heard voices. Soft, but clear. Whispered, as if he weren't meant to hear the words.

"He looks like he's got some cash on him."

"Doesn't look too tough, either."

Haseo heard their footsteps on the ground. And he turned around, drawing himself into a guarded stance. He didn't carry a weapon like he did when he was PK hunting, but he did have a small knife, tucked away in his back pocket. He had never gone out unarmed, not since Silabus and Gaspard had died.

But he couldn't see them in this darkness; they stood, he guessed, in the shadows along the walls. How many were there? It didn't matter. If they attacked him, if they were PKs like he thought they were, he would fight back.

"Hey," a scrawny young man stepped out of the shadows and greeted him with a self-confident wave of his hand. "Haven't seen you 'round here. Name's Loki—what's yours?"

He had a black-eyed smile.

"What do you want?" Haseo sighed, trying to tell this 'Loki' that he was wasting his time.

Loki only laughed. "Defensive, defensive, aren't we? I should be asking you what _you_ want. What're you doing here in my territory?"

"_Your_ territory...?"

Haseo was only goading him, but he couldn't help it. He knew Loki—a bottom-feeding and obsequious PK with delusions of notorious grandeur.

In a flash Loki jumped at Haseo. In response, Haseo flipped out his knife just to show he was armed, just as a warning. But Loki was playing his game dangerously tonight, almost to the point of recklessness. Loki had Haseo pinned on the floor before Haseo could think to maybe take him seriously.

Haseo looked up at his haughty face. His heart beat quickly in his chest; he felt every beat in his veins.

"I don't like your attitude, you little punk." Loki looked off to the knife in Haseo's hand. He moved to kick it away, but then stopped and looked at it closely.

"I've never seen a blade like this before. Where'd you get it?"

The blade was something that a friend of Haseo's family had given to him not long after Haseo had Awoken. The name escaped him, but he did remember the face. A serious, judging and thoughtful expression, hidden behind glasses with orange lenses.

"Get off me," Haseo said. He could feel his veins protesting where Loki pinned him by his wrists.

"I _said_ where'd you get it," Loki repeated, his voice sparking with warning.

"It's a weapon you can get from the any apprentice smith in Dol Dona," Haseo told him, and then added, "it's nothing special."

"Bullshit. This design down the blade," he said, "I've never seen it before. It's an expensive little knife, isn't it. I want it. Why don't you give it to me."

"No."

Loki stood up. Was he going to leave? Haseo didn't think so. He gathered himself into a crouching position.

He swept down, his nose almost touching Haseo's—Haseo drew back, disgusted. "Listen," Loki growled, "I'm going to beat you within an inch of your life, take that weapon from you, and kill you. You got that?"

Haseo simply moved back, getting to his feet. It was getting harder to believe now that he could get out of this without revealing that he had some experience in a fight. Word would travel around the PK community. It was dark, but Haseo might still be connected to the Terror of Death.

And all the while, Loki smiled slowly and unsheathed his sword. Its blade gleamed poisonous black just like his eyes.

The bite of Loki's sword across Haseo's shoulder, faster than he could see. He wasn't half bad. Haseo ignored his first reaction, which was to drop his knife and clench his shoulder, stop the pain.

Then he smelled it. His own blood.

"You're an idiot," Haseo informed him as Skeith stirred in his veins. The circle scattered as they felt the tremor of a waking Epitaph.

"We got ourselves a guardian," one of them whispered behind Haseo's back.

"That's no guardian. We worked; we memorized their faces so we wouldn't screw up. We don't move against guardians unless the boss tells us to."

Haseo caught that. But then he saw that Loki was equally distracted. So Haseo didn't wait for Loki to focus again. He couldn't wait. Skeith wouldn't let him.

He blacked out until he saw the green-cyan sphere eclipse Loki. Loki had a pathetically weak Gorre. When his Epitaph shattered, Loki's body fell to the floor. Dead.

And the Haseo's breath choked in his throat.

They were all dead.

He had murdered them all.

"Damn," Haseo swore softly when his thoughts settled back into his mind. This couldn't happen. Carrying the knife was one strike against him; the fact that he had an Epitaph powerful enough to awaken without the presence of AIDA, one that he couldn't even control, was another.

He wasn't the Terror of Death right now. He wasn't a PK. He was Haseo, and he had just killed six people. They were PKs. It was self-defense. But he had an uncontrollable Epitaph. And a Skeith, at that.

He started running, and didn't stop.

Haseo was nearly knocked to the stone pavement before he had gone a hundred yards. There was the sound of thunder, no, more like the shattering of glass. Haseo shut his hands over his ears as the roar of white noise filled the air.

"Civilian! You're not to be out at this time—it's dangerous!" he heard a shout. A shout in a voice he thought he knew.

"Kaoru…?" Haseo breathed to himself. But it was the blue-haired guardian. His mind was so jarred that he was hearing things.

A gloved hand flung out and grabbed him by the collar. Haseo was then thrown aside out of the center of the street.

Then he looked up, and saw it. A sky broken wide, shattered at the horizon and open and black up to the vault of the heavens. Glowing lights like a strange language streamed by like a never-ending meteor shower. Every so often, the city around Haseo skipped in his vision, and he would see it inverted for a split second before the city restored itself.

"AIDA," Haseo breathed. Skeith itched under his skin. But it wouldn't come out. That was the last thing he needed.

The blue-haired guardian looked down at him with an exhausted fuchsia gaze. It made Haseo's heart stop. Had the blue-haired guardian seen the bodies? He had certainly felt Haseo's Skeith stir. Was he now a suspect?

"Endrance!!" Haseo heard Kuhn's voice call out. Endrance…?

Haseo's stare darted over his shoulder.

Kuhn skittered to a stop. He looked up at the writhing mass of AIDA in the sky, and then at the blue-haired guardian, Endrance. "The twins are still back there. I think their Gorre will respond better to this one than my Magus or even your Macha. You're running on empty, though, aren't you? Your last Awakening wasn't where you usually are—Haseo?"

"What are you doing here?" Kuhn asked.


	8. Spectrum Analysis and Abandon

Disclaimer: I don't own .hack. But everything not associated with .hack (original plot, etc.) does belong to me.

Sorry for the delay, everyone! It wasn't Fair Dawn's fault, but one of my other projects dragged me down for a little while. It's all sorted out now, so no worries. Please enjoy and please review!

~greyrondo

"Aura, I…" Balmung began under his breath as he knelt before the altar. But there was something stirring in the corners of his senses, in the shadows of the cathedral. AIDA. This place was, after all, infected. It had been dangerous to meet here with Reki, but there were worse things than AIDA in the world.

He shook his head. Not because of the AIDA, but because he couldn't think of a single thing to say in his prayer.

The only rule in Fragment had been to treat Fragment as if it were the real world. Any mention of the real world or the fact that Fragment was a simulation was allowed within the context of private messages only. But that Fragment was a simulation was still a fact of which everyone was perfectly aware.

"Albireo, you care more about the citizens," the most common substitution for 'NPCs', "than your fellow guardians, don't you?"

Orca had meant it lightheartedly. But Albireo shrugged. "Isn't that the way it should be?" he called over his shoulder as they walked down the streets of Mac Anu. "What are we doing, anyways? I wasn't informed of a warning that AIDA might attack soon."

"That's right!" Orca said, suddenly remembering something. "Balmung, I completely forgot. We're meeting my friend Kite at the chaos gate, and then I'm going with him to do some field training alongside Sora and BT. It'll be his first time in the field, so it's a big day for him," Orca added. "And you two are going to—"

Albireo interrupted him. "If I'm not required by G.U. to be here, then I've got somewhere else I need to be. I'll follow you to the chaos gate, but I'll be going solo from then on. Sorry, Lord Balmung," he said belatedly.

"You have somewhere else to be that isn't involved with G.U.?" Balmung wanted to clarify.

"Poke fun at my dedication to protecting this world all you want, but I do have a life outside of G.U.," Albireo told him.

"But this is—" Balmung began. He had been about to say 'this is just a game', but Orca cleared his throat.

"If that's what you'd prefer, then I don't have a problem with it. Anyways, I don't see why we can't walk to the chaos gate together, at least. Looks like you have this afternoon off, Balmung," Orca said cheerfully.

Balmung hadn't stayed with them after that. But even though he hadn't been there to hear where Albireo had accessed through the chaos gate, he felt sure, looking back, that Albireo had gone to Fragment's version of the cathedral.

**Chapter Eight: Spectrum Analysis and Abandon**

"Endrance," Haseo sighed as he stared up at his dreary ceiling. "Endrance."

Then he sat up. Mid-afternoon sun streaked through the slits in his half-open blinds. He didn't remember opening them at all; Atoli must have broken into his room before going to work.

He was trying very hard not to think about Bordeaux, Reality, or the blue-haired guardian. That left very few options.

So he calculated how many hours he must have slept if it was now two in the afternoon. More sleep than he'd gotten in a long time, but still not as much as he needed. No nightmares, even, or at least none that he remembered.

When was the last time he had seen Atoli? He hadn't seen her at all yesterday. And now that he thought about it, he recalled Kuhn opening Haseo's blinds last night. Because that way, Haseo would wake up eventually.

It seemed like the only lucky break Haseo had gotten last night was that Kuhn had been on patrol with that blue-haired guardian. Without Kuhn, there wouldn't have been anyone to give Haseo the benefit of the doubt that Haseo was doing nothing more significant than walking off insomnia.

He needed to talk to his boss. Antares. He needed to tell him that last night he had killed six PKs, but not as the Terror of Death. Before someone else claimed the kill, and his money.

"You're thinking about the money at a time like this?" Haseo said aloud to himself. Those bodies had the tellings of a Skeith, a powerful and untamed Skeith, all over them. The fact that the bodies were PKs would lead the Cobalt Knights straight to the PK underworld, and it would only be a matter of time before Haseo was sniffed out.

He would have to move, to say the least. The Cobalt Knights had a bad way of revealing the identities of PKKs in 'public interest'. It just made their real lives easier targets.

Unless he told Antares. His boss would pull the right strings, cover his tracks. He had connections that Haseo dreamed about. If he had connections like that, then he could find Silabus and Gaspard's killer—

So it was even more immediate that Haseo cover up the deaths.

Suddenly, he wanted to drag himself back into bed and pretend that he hadn't just wrecked his entire life in a few short hours last night.

The blue-haired guardian Endrance hadn't said a single word to Haseo after his initial warning. He hadn't said much to Kuhn, and only a little more to the twins Saku and Bo that shared a Gorre.

Something about guardians. Something that Loki's gang had muttered. And that wasn't the first time that a PK had mentioned guardians.

He needed to tell Kuhn. But he couldn't, because then he would have to tell just exactly what he was up to last night.

Haseo groaned aloud.

One step at a time. Time to go to Lumina Cloth and pay an unofficial visit to his boss. And hope Antares was in a good mood.

He desperately needed a shower. G.U. had treated his wound, but he needed to change the bandage. Too bad Atoli wasn't here.

So he frowned in confusion when he stepped out into the hall and heard definite sounds coming from Atoli's room.

Her door was mostly closed, but behind it he heard shuffling sounds, something that might have been slight sobbing, and her shadow erratically flitting from one side of the room to the other.

"Atoli?" he called out as he gently nudged the door open.

"H-Haseo?" she stammered, and the shuffling sounds intensified. "Don't come in! I'm… I'm not dressed," she told him faintly.

She was lying. Haseo opened the door and found her dresser drawers all pulled out; the entire room emptied in a half-crazed flurry. She was fully dressed.

"Atoli, shouldn't you be at work?" he asked.

"Oh, well, um, I slept in, and then I remembered that I wasn't needed to assist for any hearings at the CCC and then I decided I would reorganize my room," she told him breathlessly.

Still lying.

"Then why does everything seem to be going into that bag?" he said, looking over pointedly at the tote straining at its stitches.

"I, um," Atoli began, then sighed and looked straight up at him. "It's that—I'm really sorry, Haseo, but it's just none of your business!" her voice trilled nervously.

Haseo looked at her blankly. Things were never not his business when it came to Atoli—whether he liked it or not—and so he knew something was very wrong now.

"Atoli, tell me what's going on," Haseo said to her. This had something to do with Moon Tree; he knew it.

She didn't say a word. She looked at him, pressed her lips together, and then the phone back in Haseo's room rang. Their eyes locked as the ringer switched over to the answering machine, and then Haseo's face paled considerably.

It was Antares. He wanted to see Haseo. Now.

"You'd better go," Atoli whispered.

"Okay," Haseo nodded quickly. "Okay. Uh, but promise me something, Atoli," he said even faster. "Don't go anywhere. Don't leave. Whatever it is, we'll get it sorted out. Put you under protection of the Cobalt Knights if that's what it takes."

He took the shower he needed, and replaced the bandages, which he also needed. Then he slipped into clothes, clothes that did anything but stand out. He bared the birthmark that slipped down his chest and past his waist, almost as if he were trying too hard to prove to the world that he was Haseo, not the Terror of Death.

Walking into Antares' establishment at Lumina Cloth was easier, somehow, by the light of day. He didn't have to pretend he was ordinary. For right now, and for a few minutes more at least, he was ordinary.

Then he turned past the empty bar—business was slow at this time of day—and took his time up the shady wooden stairs, gripping the railing like his life depended upon it.

"I'm here, Antares," he called out uncertainly. "There's something pretty important I need to talk to you about," he added.

"No joking, kid," his boss growled from the couch set up off-centered in the middle of the room. It wasn't well-lit, even in the day. And it was completely empty; Haseo didn't hear the creakings of the floorboards which gave away that other PKKs were here.

That didn't make immediate sense. A lot of PKKs crashed here when it was too risky to go home, and Haseo felt pretty sure that one or two lived here permanently. Then Haseo realized that Antares had cleaned the place out.

"The Cobalt Knights found six bodies very early this morning," Antares began. "They weren't disposed of properly according to PKK procedure. Eh, these things happen. PKs die, sometimes. But they commissioned a tagger from G.U."

"A tagger," Haseo echoed faintly. Kuhn wasn't a tagger, that was for sure. He sat down across from his boss. "So, uh, who did the tagger pinpoint?"

"He pinpointed the Terror of Death. You, boy. But here's where it gets interesting. Where exactly would he get the signature of the Terror of Death's Skeith? And then run into you, and compare the two and find them identical? Have you been hanging around guardians as a PKK, Terror of Death? Tell me now, boy, if a guardian knows who you are. Because if you lie to me, Terror…"

Haseo shook his head quickly. "I don't know how it happened. The only guardians I interact with are Kuhn and Pi, and they're not taggers. And I've never seen them on the clock anyways."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. Who is it? Who's the tagger?"

Antares shrugged. "Didn't give a name. Tall pretty-boy. Not Monarch or Zamiel," he clarified.

Haseo looked up. "Why wouldn't he give his name? What would it matter? G.U.'s got authority, they can do whatever they want to us PKKs if we cross the line—"

And Haseo paused. "Did he have long blue hair?"

"Yeah. So you've seen him around."

"Dammit, Endrance," Haseo said then, bolting up. He began to pace. "So let me get this straight. A guardian came from G.U. and told you this information. Why? If he knows, why didn't this information go to the Cobalt Knights and why aren't I in jail right now?"

"Because G.U. doesn't know. He was off the clock when he came here last night. But he came here kind of nervous. Are you sure you don't have something on him, Terror of Death?"

"No, I don't—" Haseo began, and then stopped. "I saw him when I came back from old Carmina Gadelica the other night. He was with Fleurs du Mal, and that's definitely not something a guardian can involve himself with—so I guess, technically, it's in our best interests if we pretend we never saw each other."

"That's what he said," Antares confirmed. "He came to tell me to warn you that he couldn't withhold his report that your personal identity is linked with the deaths of those six. And he said it might get complicated."

"Complicated?" Haseo echoed. "How can it get any more complicated than it already is?!"

"Loki and his five are Moon Tree's."

"That's total—" Haseo began. If they were Moon Tree's, then he couldn't plead self-defense. Against Moon Tree? He would be laughed into his jail cell.

"But they're PKs! They're on the list!" Haseo insisted. "You keep the list, Antares! You know I'm right!"

"If a PK takes a pledge with Moon Tree, I have to take them off the list. That's the rule, Terror of Death. And every single one of those corpses became Moon Tree's hours before you killed them."

"That's blatant abuse of the system!"

"Doesn't matter. Moon Tree's got the CCC in its pocket. The Civil Control Commons believes that Moon Tree works, or a least they want to."

"How do I fix this?" asked Haseo as he stared at the cracks between the wood slats in the floor.

"You don't, kid," Antares said frankly. "I called you here early to give you some warning. You've got two minutes until Moon Tree and G.U. get here. Start praying."

"What?!" Haseo demanded. "Why didn't you call me—I could have run. I could have left town. Gone to… I don't know, Dol Dona. Some of the camps set up at old Dun Loireag.

You can't sell me out like this!"

"I can, kid, and I will," Antares told him as he stood up and stared down Haseo. "The protection that allows me to do my thing here in Lumina Cloth—what keeps my PKK ring from getting broken up by the Cobalt Knights—means I have a special deal of sorts with G.U., and I've been hiding you from them for too long."

"You mean my Skeith."

"It's been years now, Terror of Death. You're never going to find the PK that murdered your friends and awakened your Epitaph. You don't know how many strings I've had to pull to convince G.U. to halt investigations on that incident. The residual power left from your Awakening was enough to make them want to hunt you down then and there. At least this way, you won't have to disappear. No one will know you were once the Terror of Death, except for that one guardian."

Antares didn't move. "Time to give up."

He waited. When Haseo's only reaction was to sit squarely down on the couch behind him, Antares walked over to the stairwell. Haseo heard footsteps. Many footsteps.

He had been so close. All he needed to do was follow Bordeaux. Then he would have found the PK who had killed Silabus and Gaspard, and he could have let everything go. He could have quit on his own terms.

"Damn you to hell, Endrance," Haseo whispered to himself.


	9. Resignation and Somnolent Illumination

Disclaimer: I don't own .hack. But everything not associated with .hack (original plot, etc.) does belong to me.

Lord Orca of Azure Sea did not belong in a hospital. But then again, the vacant stare did not belong to Lord Orca.

"I should have gone with you," Balmung said then, trying to reconcile the subtle golds and reds in the decidedly Moon Tree palette with Orca's deteriorated, catatonic condition. "I shouldn't have let Albireo bother me. If I hadn't, then none of this would have happened. Sora's Skeith wouldn't have gone out of control. You wouldn't have become a Lost One. Kite wouldn't have had to take on so much so quickly."

"You can't blame yourself for everything, Zamiel," he heard Reki sigh at the doorway. "Leave some for everyone else. Come on, if you want to visit Aina, then you'll have to hurry before the nurses freak out that you're staying past the visiting time limit."

Balmung stood, and looked back once more before exiting the room.

"I'd comment that I don't understand why you're visiting Aina," Reki said to him as they walked down the hall. "But I get it. You feel guilty that Ovan was indirectly killed because of you. And because Albireo's the reason that Aina's in the hospital."

That made Balmung smile. "No, actually."

"No? What, then?"

"Because she's all alone now, without her brother to visit her."

Reki laughed. "You're crazy, you know that? Which I'm perfectly all right with, by the way. You've been sane for too long. Why the sudden change? Is it because we're getting closer?"

"Reki, what would I get done without you?" Balmung mused.

"For the record, I'd do the same thing. Visit Aina, I mean. Oh, by the way. Where's Tsukasa?"

Balmung shrugged. "Either still in Mac Anu, or moved to Tartarga. Why?"

"No reason, the thought came to me, since we were talking about Lost Ones. I was just wondering, for old times' sake."

**Chapter Nine: Resignation and Somnolent Illumination**

The only good part of what was happening now to Haseo was that he somewhat enjoyed watching the ex-PK Matsu squirm under the scrutiny of Antares' derisive stare. But that didn't make up for the fact that he was in very important company, company that all thought he was trouble.

"Lord Sakaki," Antares greeted gruffly, but with respect. He had no choice. Haseo didn't need an introduction: this was the man who ran Moon Tree in order to be in the position to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. Like buy off everyone in the CCC who thought that PKs should be responsible for their crimes, even if they did join Moon Tree. What was the point of bringing Matsu here, except to prove how easily PKs could get away with murder nowadays?

Haseo had never even before seen Master Yata, leader of the Guardians' Union. Pi never strayed more than five feet from his side, and he could tell by the odd mixture of shock and displeasure on Pi's face, behind her glasses, that she wanted desperately to pretend that she did not know Haseo at that point.

"Antares, how do you know this boy?" Master Yata interrogated coldly. It seemed like they knew each other well. Haseo suddenly had the impression that he had even more to fear from Master Yata than Sakaki.

"The boy used to bus tables downstairs," Antares lied easily as he crossed his arms. "I still hook him up with a job, here and there. He's a good kid."

There was silence.

"I know what you're thinking, Master Yata. He's not one of mine. You think a kid scrawny as this could ever cut it as a PKK? Haseo here wouldn't hurt a fly. I called him here because your guardian Endrance had me double-check the status of those six from Moon Tree and the conversation went from there. He didn't want there to be any mistakes."

"Endrance is thorough," Master Yata admitted. "Pi, doesn't Haseo live with you? What can you say about him?"

Haseo looked up at Pi, trying not to be too obvious about the pleading look in his eyes.

Pi shrugged. "He's mentioned his Epitaph before—this isn't his first Awakening. But I guess he hasn't been threatened before this time. Looks to me like this is the most extreme case of a misunderstanding I've come across in a while."

Haseo withheld an audible sigh of relief.

"It's up to you, Lord Sakaki. You have all rights to press charges," Master Yata said. "This wasn't a first Awakening; this boy knew the power of his Epitaph and somehow evaded G.U.'s radar for quite some time," Master Yata added, turning to the green-haired man. His hair looked black like ink in the half-light.

"Haseo, was it?" Sakaki said gracefully. His voice was slick like oil, so benevolent Haseo wanted to retch. He couldn't believe that anyone could be taken in by that obviously faked magnanimity.

And then Haseo's train of thought froze. It couldn't be. It couldn't be the voice that he had heard speaking with Bordeaux. It couldn't be the voice of Silabus and Gaspard's murderer. This was Sakaki of Moon Tree, for Aura's sake. The only crazy thing about him was that he was so far gone into believing Moon Tree's ideals that he was almost as bad as a PK.

He tried to go back to that night. Black hair like ink, but the lights had flickered and then died. Green hair could easily appear black in that situation. He just couldn't look at Sakaki's face. Every time he saw the face of Moon Tree, he couldn't reconcile it with the memory of the voice.

Haseo flinched as Sakaki drew close, looking into Haseo's eyes in the half-light. After a moment, he seemed to come to some private decision. "I don't believe that you would ever purposely hurt another soul," Sakaki announced to the room. "There's nothing but compassion in your eyes. And yet… sometimes those who wish to do no harm to others are given the most terrible gifts."

"This boy has done nothing wrong. The law may call him a PK, but decency calls him a blessing in disguise. Even as we speak, AIDA strengthens. Just as Moon Tree forgives PKs, I will forgive this boy for cutting short the lives of six individuals who strayed onto the wrong path, but unfortunately were not given time to find themselves again. But I wish for you, Haseo, to do to your life as I would have hoped for those six, in return."

"Uh," Haseo began skeptically. That was definitely not a speech that a PK could have produced with such a sincere expression. "What exactly are you getting at?"

"You must use this destructive power of yours for good now. Join with your friends at the Guardians' Union, and this incident will be passed off as nothing more than a tragic accident. My only interests lie in the well-being of the world."

Haseo was quiet. Sakaki couldn't be a PK. And Haseo couldn't be a guardian.

"All right," he said hollowly.

Sakaki nodded. "Well, I see no more reason to linger here. If nothing else, this incident proves that Moon Tree has much work to do."

Then Matsu spoke. "See you around, Haseo."

He smirked, and then turned his back to follow Sakaki. Haseo's face paled. Was Matsu just being a jerk, or was there something more to that?

No, Haseo told himself. No one knows who you are. You're safe.

"You should be lucky he was that forgiving," Pi said to him as she clapped him softly on the shoulder. "You could have been in big trouble. Haseo, you live with both Kuhn and myself. Why didn't you just come forward about your Epitaph? This might not have happened. G.U. has resources for people with stronger Epitaphs."

"I… I was afraid," Haseo told her. And it was only a little bit of a lie. He hadn't been afraid until just now.

Pi stared at him, and sighed. "All right, let's get you home. We're not doing anything to you tonight, at least not anything you need to be there for you. I'll just be putting you in the system, administrative work. You'll be coming to work with me tomorrow morning, though."

Haseo's gaze stared around her, through the shut blinds to the outside. It was still afternoon. Little had changed. But now everything was going to be different.

This would be the last time he set foot in this room as the Terror of Death, he realized. So he looked up to Antares. "Thanks, boss," he said. He meant it, at least most of the way.

And then he moved on autopilot as he left with Master Yata and Pi, and didn't respond as Pi practically shoved him in the direction of Breg Epona through the chaos gate. He didn't think again until he found himself back home.

Haseo closed his eyes, and leaned against the frame of the door leading into the hallway for support. He almost fell asleep there, but then he looked up. "Atoli?" he called out, his voice drained as it echoed a little in the hall.

He took a few precarious steps forward until he stood in her doorway. The light was off. She must have been asleep.

So he cracked the door, just enough to look in on her. Like she was his little sister.

And she was gone.

Her things were gone. No sign of struggle, no sign of anything except that she was no longer there.

Haseo stood there blankly in the doorway for a moment. It didn't occur to him immediately to find Kuhn or Pi, tell them that Atoli was gone. The only thought he had, the only one at all, was that his real life was now in pieces.


	10. Integrity and Character Patina

Disclaimer: I don't own .hack. But everything not associated with .hack (original plot, etc.) does belong to me.

Even Endrance gets curious, especially when people hint at things he doesn't remember but needs to, in order to put the pieces together. Please enjoy, and please tell me what you think!

~greyrondo

"I thought you were crazy when we first met. Just wanted to put that out there," Reki told Balmung as he leaned back on his hands and stared up to the vault of the cathedral's ceiling. "I didn't know then that Orca had just died. I just knew you were caught up in this—I don't know, obsession—with being the best guardian you could be."

"I'd prefer you didn't call it an 'obsession'," Balmung said. "But to think that AIDA could function in Fragment, and even go as far as to infect Sora's Epitaph and turn Orca into a Lost One—it was unbelievable."

"That was why I was hired in the first place, to have a look at the code and see how AIDA could possibly do such a thing. I didn't think they'd plug me into Fragment, but that was my Fidchell, not me, I guess."

"Don't you think that was odd, considering that Orca's Epitaph was a Fidchell too?" Balmung mused. He knew the answer, but he wanted to see if Reki did, too, because he had asked about Tsukasa earlier.

"I think it's even weirder that I never ran into Albireo once when we trained in Fragment and when I was investigating with you. Since you were so cozy with him and all," Reki commented.

Balmung frowned. Reki didn't know what Balmung had meant. Which was a good thing, Balmung decided in the end. "He was really Orca's friend, not mine. We didn't talk enough before then, to talk about Orca when he was gone. And you know that I became rather busy after Orca became a Lost One, so I didn't really have time to drop in and see if he had become any more social," Balmung laughed.

"So if that's the case," Reki said quietly then, confused, "then why did you do it?"

"I don't know," was all that Balmung could tell Reki. If Reki didn't know about what Jun had been doing, then it would just raise more questions.

"You know, I did find traces of AIDA inside of Fragment. But there was this other virus, a computer virus, one that I couldn't figure out. So I didn't tell G.U. about it. I think that virus had everything to do with Sora's death, and Orca turning into a Lost One. There was enough weird business going on with Fragment, anyways," Reki sighed. "Like that A.I. that came out of nowhere, Lycoris. The one that—"

"That Albireo killed in Fragment."

"You don't know anything more about that incident than anyone else, do you, though…"

"Only a little more," Balmung lied.

**Chapter Ten: Integrity and Character Patina**

Kuhn paced the few feet of space behind Pi's monitor. Endrance stood off to the side, holding his tongue. It was one thing for Pi and Kuhn to learn that their friend Haseo had accidentally killed six PKs. It would be another thing entirely for them to learn that if it had been an accident, it certainly wouldn't have been anything outside of the Terror of Death's normal activities.

"Why didn't he just tell us when he ran into Endrance and me last night? Why did it have to come out like this? Did you even know that Haseo was working at Antares's bar?" Kuhn asked Pi. "I sure didn't."

"Maybe he was scared. And I don't know about you, but Antares and I don't really communicate," Pi answered him. "Endrance, has Antares kept in touch with you?"

"We weren't particularly close when he was a guardian," Endrance said softly. "So I don't see why he would go out of his way to talk to me now."

This was only slightly a lie. Of course he and Antares crossed paths; how else would he have known who to contact when he matched Haseo's Skeith with the Terror of Death's Epitaph?

"My point exactly," Pi sighed. "At least Sakaki was forgiving. Say what you want about Moon Tree, there's no denying that this would have turned out worse for Haseo if the Cobalt Knights had gotten more involved. He sounded so happy to suggest that Haseo join G.U., you would think that it was what he had been planning from the beginning. I'll never understand those Moon Tree types," she said.

Now that was an odd thought to consider, that Sakaki had machinated Haseo's employment with G.U.

Sakaki's policy that gave PKs a chance for a new life in Moon Tree necessitated that he have at least some knowledge of the underworld that Endrance, Haseo, and Antares shared.

"So who's going to train Haseo?" Kuhn said casually. Then the room turned carefully silent.

"I'll do it. Better me than Monarch or Zamiel," Endrance said before the silence became awkward. Not that mentioning Zamiel in that context relaxed the tension.

"Far better you than Zamiel," Pi murmured, and he had the feeling that she was thinking of the same thing that he was. She was thinking of the Outbreak and the name that nobody ever mentioned aloud, inside G.U.'s headquarters or anywhere else.

"Well, you should go home, Endrance. Get some rest. I can tell you're done for tonight," Kuhn said, but it sounded like he was forcing to keep the lightheartedness in his voice afloat.

Endrance nodded and excused himself. Kuhn could always tell when Endrance was tired, and the reason he could tell was the reason that Kuhn never trained new guardians anymore.

Elk had Awoken the minute after Mia had died in the field. If he had been faster, then she might have been here today. Because he had realized that the very instant after he had watched her die—that he should have been a single moment faster—he found it impossible to summon forth his Macha after that initial Awakening.

He quit G.U. after that. But later, he found it impossible to control Macha and rejoined as a guardian. Kuhn trained him, and pushed him so hard without success that Master Yata nearly considered ending the entire endeavor. No matter what Kuhn did, there was nothing he could do to help Endrance control his Epitaph. So Kuhn did something that only a skilled Magus could do: he let Endrance's Macha kill him.

It worked. But Kuhn was the first to recognize that what he had done crossed a line that Epitaph users should never touch.

Lost in thought, Endrance brushed against Monarch in the narrow hallway. "Watch where you're going," Monarch snapped at him as they passed each other.

Remembering what had happened with Kuhn left Endrance with a question, one that Monarch might be able to answer. He stopped walking. "Monarch," he said.

Monarch stopped too, and turned around. "What is it?" he demanded impatiently. "I'm busy."

"Awhile before the Outbreak. When Zamiel—" Endrance began, but he didn't know how to ask his question, not without bringing up that unmentionable name. Reki would have been a different story, but he wasn't nearly friendly enough with Monarch to ask. "Never mind, I didn't mean to bother you," he apologized.

After giving him a thought-laden glare, Monarch turned away from Endrance. "I swear to Aura, you're just as bad as he was," Monarch muttered. "Zamiel told me about your deal. Someone like you would work for Fleurs du Mal. He left out some information that I think should be passed on to you: Dreaming Poppy is a persona that Pi's older brother assumed after he left G.U. As much as Zamiel doesn't like the idea of using people, when he tries to protect you from the information that you're gathering, he's still using you. Don't tell him I said that."

Then Monarch continued walking.

So G.U. was Dreaming Poppy's much-talked about 'higher calling.' Only, as far as Endrance knew, no one like Dreaming Poppy had worked for G.U., and he didn't know until just then that Pi even had an older brother.

Zamiel said that the something that Endrance was to search for would explain why Endrance was trapped in Fleurs du Mal with Dreaming Poppy. Something to do with the nature of his Macha, and also with Ovan.

But Ovan was dead. Unless his death wasn't by random chance.

In which case, this something that had to do with Endrance also had something to do with the person that he had very nearly mentioned to Monarch by name. Maybe Dreaming Poppy wasn't the first step at all; maybe it was Ovan.

Not that he knew anything about Ovan's doings in great detail. Ovan had been a Corbenik; that much was obvious. A Corbenik Epitaph always marked its host with some deformity or another; that was why Ovan wore that armor shell over his mutated arm, and why Zamiel had the white wings of an angel. And why the person that he reminded Monarch of was a monstrosity.

Ovan was infected with AIDA shortly after the Outbreak. The virus was quarantined, but could not immediately be purged from him. He took a long absence from G.U., one that lasted a few years. Then he returned, with no account as to what he had done in that time. If anyone knew, that individual was Master Yata and no one else.

But apart from Ovan's constant and subtle harassment, Endrance felt like there was something else. Some other significant event that they had shared. He simply couldn't remember.

Hadn't Zamiel asked Endrance if there was something missing from his memory?

Maybe Master Yata did know something about Ovan—but then wouldn't Zamiel be in a better position to ask? Perhaps he already had, and he already knew what Endrance didn't.

How quickly this had become something he sought for his own sake, Endrance mused.

There was always the possibility that Zamiel hadn't asked Master Yata about Ovan. If Zamiel was after an answer that he didn't want Master Yata to know he was looking for, then it made more sense to go through Dreaming Poppy and through Endrance.

And then a sudden thought frightened him: he didn't know if he was more afraid of Dreaming Poppy, or of Zamiel. Of Lord Balmung of Azure Sky. He was an idealist, but an idealist that prized the world, not people. Zamiel might claim that he didn't want to use Endrance, and he would feel guilt. Perhaps. But feeling guilt and acting upon guilt were two different things entirely when it came to Zamiel.

In his own odd way, Zamiel was even further isolated from the world than Endrance. At least Endrance cared when he upset Alkaid, or when he didn't have the strength to fight AIDA. Zamiel had put on the façade of a white knight before the Outbreak, but after the Outbreak he laid down his mask and his sword and became what, judging by the events following up to the Outbreak, had been sleeping inside of him the entire time.

If Ovan had been murdered with more reason than that he was a guardian, then Endrance needed to find out why. Even if it meant risking his life since he was a guardian, he needed to speak with Bordeaux the Guardian Killer, the Chaotic PK. Not that he ever held a real conversation with her; the last time they had exchanged words was before the Outbreak, when she was just Bordeaux.

Bordeaux. Of course.

Endrance exhaled, suddenly shocked by the connection, and a possible motive. That meant he was safe from Bordeaux's blades, which was something. Unless she just didn't like the questions he intended to ask. But he needed to know how Ovan connected to everything and everyone, himself included.

And there was one more thing he needed to do, or better yet, something he needed to make sure not to do. Until he figured out if Reality was merely a game or something more— and specifically if Satoshi Fujio and Yukito Kurosaki were the real Monarch and Zamiel or not—then he didn't feel comfortable logging into that 'game.' He would have to give that player character Ryou some excuse, or no excuse at all. Even though Ryou wasn't real like Alkaid, Endrance felt bad.

If Zamiel was searching for the Twilight Dragon in a virtual world, then only Aura knew what Zamiel wanted in real life, and for what purpose. One didn't have to want to do harm to the world to end up destroying it. Sometimes the people who tried to help caused the most damage.


	11. Ego Iridescence and Punishment

Disclaimer: I don't own .hack. But everything not associated with .hack (original plot, etc.) does belong to me.

This is a few chapters ahead, but after an event that's coming up, dealing with Reality and Fragment, the narrator for the chapter introductions is going to switch. Please enjoy, and please tell me what you think!

~greyrondo

Visiting Aina in Ovan's place had made Balmung think about his first real conversation with G.U.'s other Corbenik.

"You aren't hanging around him anymore, I see," Ovan had said.

Balmung didn't understand who Ovan meant. Orca was gone, and Reki had just come in to work, so Ovan couldn't have meant either of them.

"That… freak," Ovan said delicately, as if he wanted to use a more polite word but couldn't bring himself to pull his punches.

Finally Balmung looked up from his desk, ignoring his G.U. paperwork. No one else was in the room. "I don't think I follow you," he told Ovan blankly.

"You do know why I'm here, don't you? Because I want to be. But I didn't sign up just so that I could work under the same roof as the freak who turned my sister into a Lost One. It's good you don't go near him anymore. The same thing could happen to you, even in Fragment, as Orca proved."

"But Sora is gone," Balmung told him. "And in any case, I never knew Sora. There are a lot of us, and we don't all have the same schedules."

"I'm talking about someone who has the same schedule as Sora did, although he's been keeping it up for a while longer," Ovan said vaguely. "Ah well, sorry to bother you. Just wanted to ask after your health," he added conversationally.

Ovan wordlessly brushed past Mia as he left the room.

"What the hell was that all about," Mia muttered. "He's a weird one, for sure. Anyways, I was wondering if you'd seen Elk about."

"Elk?" Balmung repeated.

"Shy paperwork kid running around in violet robes. He's friends with Kite. You know Kite, don't you, since you were both Orca's friends?"

"I'm sorry, but I haven't seen anyone like that today. I'll let you know if I do, though."

"Don't worry yourself over it. I'll find him before you do, I'm sure. He's my friend, I could find him anywhere."

**Chapter Eleven: Ego Iridescence and Punishment**

It was early, early morning when Haseo logged on to Reality again. It was so early that even Pi was still asleep, and the house was quiet. Pi and Kuhn had told Haseo to relax about Atoli. They had even told him that Atoli probably had a date and was planning on spending the night, and that she didn't want to break his heart.

Haseo didn't think that was funny.

Kaoru wasn't online. Of course he wasn't. In comparison, Kaoru was a well-adjusted, focused young man with a reasonable lifestyle, and whose life wasn't currently sitting in the gutter, smashed into pieces.

But there was a message.

Haseo read it too quickly the first time, and started again.

_Ryou, I'm not sure if I want to work with Satoshi Fujio and Yukito Kurosaki. I know that they would be invaluable, and I can't really explain my reasoning behind this without going into detail about the online world._

He meant the real world, of course. Was it possible that Kaoru's player knew Satoshi Fujio and Yukito Kurosaki's players offline?

_I think I might not be logging on for a few days, at least. I'm just letting you know that you don't have to log on when I do. If there's something you want to investigate on your own, you can ask me about anything that confuses you (hopefully, I won't be confused either.)_

_Kaoru_

Haseo did have something that he wanted to know.

_I do have a question, actually. How would we go about finding out who our 'online' identity is?_

He almost sent the message, but there was a strange feeling settling inside of him. This was weird; he wasn't used to Kaoru being so uncertain. And the fact that Kaoru wasn't going to be online in the next few days bugged him. Reality was something he had come to count on. It wasn't that the world presented in Reality wasn't free of problems. It was that the world presented in Reality was free of problems that he couldn't walk away from.

_If you want to talk about what's going on with you online, I don't mind. But I think that we should still work with Satoshi Fujio and Yukito Kurosaki._

And then Pi knocked on his door.

"Haseo, if you wake up now you get an hour to eat breakfast and do whatever else before we go," she called through the door. "I thought you could use the extra time. To get yourself together, I mean."

He opened the door and saw Pi standing there with dark circles underneath her eyes. She wore a pale coral robe, and her hair hung down in a long, long disheveled braid.

"What happened to you last night?" he wanted to know.

"Hush, you'll wake Kuhn," she said, nodding in the direction of the central room. "He didn't even make it to his bedroom this morning. AIDA happened, Haseo. We're stretched pretty thin. At first it was just the twins on last night. Still almost wasn't enough, but it's not like Endrance or Alkaid would have been any use after…"

Pi shook her head. "We're drained, all of us. We could use a hand. If your Skeith's as strong as it's supposed to be, then you're the answer to our prayers. Get in the shower and I'll make you breakfast. You'll need the energy, since you're going straight to training today."

Haseo was surprised. Pi was never this nice. "Thanks," he said, and he meant it.

Pi never lost the tired edge in her gaze, even when they arrived at G.U. It wasn't that Haseo had never been inside G.U. headquarters before. He had just never been inside when every single person looked like they had been beaten up and left for dead.

"Morning, Saku, Bo," Haseo waved uneasily. He hadn't talked to them ever before, and it didn't look like he would get a meaningful conversation out of them soon. The brother had fallen asleep leaning against the sister, who was dozing off while working through some elementary math problems.

"Don't they… have to go to school?" Haseo asked Pi as she led him through the warm-toned common room into a more business-like and modern set of halls, and into what looked like a communal office space with six or seven computers set up in a half circle on one side of the room.

"Ordinarily, yes. But do you think either of them would be capable of going through a day in public school after last night? We called them in sick and Kuhn will go through their work with them when he gets here in an hour or so. He's better with kids than I am."

"That's… thoughtful," Haseo said. "So what do I have to do?"

"Come over here to this side of the monitor for a moment," she told him. But when she turned it on, she sighed.

"This was what I was working on when AIDA attacked last night," Pi said apologetically. If you don't mind, it should only take a few moments. There are some files I have to move around or the CCC will get upset. Last thing we need around here is the CCC worrying themselves over administrative business."

"I thought G.U. was a direct extension of the CCC," Haseo commented as Pi opened up a file. There was a photo of a middle-aged man with short blue hair and glasses with odd tangerine lenses.

Haseo frowned. He knew that man. He hadn't seen him in years, but that didn't make any difference. It was the man who had given him the knife that Loki had been so desperate to take from him. Not that it would have made any difference; Loki would have picked a fight for any reason, or no reason.

"We're far enough removed from the seat of government that we can make fun of them and they can get in our way or pull our strings if they want to," Pi sighed. "Which is why you're lucky that you're here instead of on trial, what with Moon Tree controlling a majority of the CCC."

It was just after he had Awoken. That man had come by, saying that he was a friend of Haseo's parents. Since Haseo's parents weren't around to confirm or deny this—the Outbreak wiped out most of the older populations because AIDA had specifically targeted stronger Epitaphs—Haseo had been skeptical at first. But then that man started talking about things that a stranger wouldn't know.

Like how Haseo had spent most of his childhood in a coma.

Pi minimized the file. "Wait, go back," Haseo said quickly. "I've seen that guy before. Who is he?"

She gave him a cross look. "That photo is of the recently deceased Ovan."

"Ovan," Haseo murmured.

"How did you know him?" Pi asked casually as she continued with her work. "If you don't mind me asking. You seem to keep friends in odd places. Not that Ovan would be considered an 'odd' person, just a… never mind," she amended.

"Friend of the family," Haseo lied with a shrug. "Sounds like you and Ovan didn't exactly see eye to eye."

"Not at all," Pi insisted. "He just tried to get me fired once, after the Outbreak. Aura knows why, he didn't have any motivation. He just went up to Master Yata and said that he wanted me 'away from G.U.' When it didn't work, things went back to normal between us. It was as if it never happened. Rumor has it he tried to get Monarch and Zamiel fired too, and Endrance. Come to think of it, I believe the only people he didn't try get rid of at one point or another were Shino, Kuhn, the twins, and Alkaid. And Yata, of course. But what am I doing, wasting our time with office gossip?"

She wordlessly processed Shino's information, and then called up his file. It was mostly blank.

"Is that my file?" asked Haseo.

"Yes, but there's nothing interesting on it. Just your name, Epitaph, official business. But I wanted to show this to you. Do you see this asterisk here?"

She pointed to the monitor, and Haseo nodded. "What does that mean?"

"That normally indicates a guardian who is on call. That wouldn't show up on someone who had just joined G.U., but there are so few guardians now, that the system automatically recognizes you as an available guardian."

"Oh," Haseo said softly. "This place is kind of quiet, isn't it."

"I just wanted to give you some perspective on the situation. You'll be going to old Carmina Gadelica for training."

"Old Carmina Gadelica??" Haseo stammered. "But that's—"

"Off-limits. Because it's infected with AIDA," Pi told him pointedly, and he suddenly felt like an idiot.

"Oh… right." And then he remembered.

"Uh, Pi?" Haseo began. "There was something that those six guys said. Well, two of them 'said' it, but I think they all knew what he was talking about. It happened when they woke up my Skeith," he added.

"Continue…"

"They told the main guy to back off, that they weren't targeting guardians because they thought I was one. They said that they wouldn't go for the guardians until their boss told them to, and then they would want them alive."

He didn't add what he had heard Bordeaux and the Machinator—it wasn't Sakaki of Moon Tree, Haseo told himself—discussing in the ruins of Carmina Gadelica.

Pi looked up at him, and then was quiet for a moment. Then she cleared her throat.

"Haseo, do you know how many times people have tried to kidnap guardians for ransom?" she told him with her eyebrows raised in skepticism. "Emphasis on the 'tried', preferably," she added.

"But who would their 'boss' be if they're from Moon Tree?" Pi murmured to herself. "I'll inform Master Yata of this, to be sure. Go upstairs. The first door on your right is the lounge. Since Endrance went home after we found you, he's in the best condition to train you."

Endrance.

Haseo's trainer would be Endrance, the guardian that was technically wholly responsible for getting him into this mess?

"I can't work with Endrance," slipped out of Haseo's mouth before he could stop himself.

Pi looked at him blankly. "Be thankful to Aura it's not me or Monarch. He's the best trainer, even though I think he goes a little too easy on new people. But the twins were caught up to speed quickly enough, so I can't complain."

"It's not that, I just—"

"As I was saying. You'll find him in the lounge upstairs. He already knows what's going on, so from there you'll head straight to Carmina Gadelica. Take this guardian pass; it'll give you access to places blocked off to civilians."

Haseo knew from that point that arguing with Pi would possibly result in his death, even though she was a Tarvos and not a Skeith. So he took the pass with a nod, and retreated to the stairwell and up the stairs half on autopilot.

The lounge was dark inside; the lights were off and the blinds were pulled tight. So he wasn't even here.

But then Haseo remembered the tired twins, and how exhausted Pi had looked this morning, and how Kuhn was just now waking up on the couch in their shared apartment.

For a moment, Haseo hoped that Endrance was so beaten up from whenever his last encounter with AIDA was, so that even resting hurt.

Then he stepped inside. There was enough light coming in from where the blinds didn't cover the windows that Haseo could see the interior.

There was a couch with its back to the door. Haseo stepped around it, and knelt down. Little wonder Endrance didn't tell absolutely everything about who exactly Haseo was; if the allegation came up that Endrance was maybe involved in Fleurs du Mal, his own features would incriminate him.

Something about Endrance sleeping there somehow reminded Haseo of Kaoru. Both had just shown him their vulnerable sides.

Haseo shook his head. He abruptly stood up, and pulled open the blinds. He didn't feel even slightly guilty about the sudden burst of sunlight that flooded the room.


	12. Concealment and Incarnadine Rage

Disclaimer: I don't own .hack. But everything not associated with .hack (original plot, etc.) does belong to me.

Kite doesn't start to become really important until a bit later, but he drives the next few chapter introductions. And of course, no dastardly .hack//GU plot would be complete without Sakaki being in there somewhere. He doesn't show up in person this chapter; he's still in the background. Please enjoy, and please tell me what you think!

~greyrondo

Sora quickly became a contagious topic amongst those who logged into Fragment. It started with, of all people, Kite.

"Lord Balmung," Kite had whispered to him one day just after Balmung had logged out, as soon as Jun was out of earshot. Kite had been about to log on, but when he saw Balmung open his eyes, he stopped. "Hey, I know you were Lord Orca's friend, and I completely understand if you blame me for what happened because I'm the reason he was out there in the field that day, but something's been bothering me."

A small part of Balmung did blame Kite. But no one else needed to know that he blamed himself more. "What's been bothering you?" Balmung asked, dropping his voice to match Kite's.

"Well, I'm kind of new around here, so I was wondering if you had ever seen Sora outside of Fragment. Because I haven't, and I haven't seen BT either, even though nothing happened to her."

Balmung shook his head. "I haven't personally. Why do you ask?"

"Because I asked Mia and Blackrose already, and they said they hadn't. So I was wondering if you and Reki have, but I guess you've already answered my question. So that means nobody has seen Sora in real life."

"What did Albireo say?"

Kite looked up at him. "Who's Albireo?"

"Figures he would be like that in real life, too," Balmung said to himself. "He's the guy with mismatched eyes you might catch around if you're lucky. He's not very social. The point is, why don't you ask him? As far as I know, Albireo has been in Fragment and G.U. even longer than I have, so it couldn't hurt to ask him if you run into him."

"All right," Kite said with a relieved smile. "Thanks. I hope we can be friends. I'd like your help with getting this figured out."

Balmung didn't say anything immediately. By the time something came to him, Jun returned.

"Kite, good to see you here. Don't log on just yet, you'll need to do a thorough log-in today. Come with me," Jun ordered.

Kite made a face as Jun turned his back, and then waved at Balmung as he stood up and followed.

**Chapter Twelve: Concealment and Incarnadine Rage**

Haseo and Endrance didn't speak after introductions—which were pointless, since they already knew each others' names—and the trip to old Carmina Gadelica was made a very, very long walk from the gates of Lumina Cloth.

The decent person inside Haseo felt bad after seeing the look on Endrance's face when he woke up; he wouldn't have done that to Kuhn or Pi, or even Atoli. But the decent person inside Haseo also remembered what he was doing the last time he was inside the no-access area of old Carmina Gadelica. He would never be the Terror of Death again.

Endrance had said something. It was so unexpected that Haseo hadn't even been listening.

"What?" Haseo said, turning to the blue-haired guardian.

"I said that it takes about forty seconds for AIDA to infect a defenseless Epitaph," Endrance repeated. His fingers drummed thoughtlessly on the hilt of the blade he carried. It was legal for guardians to carry weapons at all times, unlike civilians like Haseo had been until this morning.

"Okay," Haseo said impatiently.

Endrance was quiet for a moment. He stopped walking. "So Awaken your Epitaph. I don't want AIDA's interference right now. The presence of an Epitaph is enough to call it here sooner or later, anyways."

Haseo looked at him, and then up at the sky. It was clouded over; it would rain soon. That made him feel slightly better. "What do you mean, Awaken my Epitaph?"

"Just," Endrance began hesitantly, as if he had picked up on Pi's habit of making Haseo feel like an idiot, "Awaken your Epitaph. You've done it before according to Pi's reports, so use your trigger and awaken your Epitaph."

"What? That's stupid. I'm not doing it," Haseo told him.

"… it's part of training. I need to see where your Epitaph stands now, so that I know where you need to work before you can become a guardian," Endrance said to him.

Haseo was quiet. What was wrong with this Endrance guy? No matter how much attitude Haseo gave him, he didn't respond. He didn't react. He had about as much emotion as one of the dolls that Atoli kept long after she should.

"I'm not cutting myself open just to call out my Skeith."

"I… beg pardon?"

"That's my trigger," Haseo said then. "Do I need to spell it out? I can't control my Epitaph, or I wouldn't be here. Whenever I catch the smell of blood—usually my own, but if I'm in the right mood, it can be someone else's—that's when my Skeith comes out."

Endrance was quiet except for a patient sigh. "How little control do you have over your Epitaph?"

"None," Haseo told him. "Or pretty close to it. I can get him to settle down if there isn't any blood of mine around, but as soon as Skeith knows I've been hurt, he takes over. I don't have any say in what's going on until he goes back to sleep."

"Oh."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well," Endrance said placidly, crossing his arms over his chest thoughtfully, "it might be because of the nature of your trigger."

"What's wrong with my trigger?" Haseo retorted.

He turned full towards Haseo. "The difference between a guardian's trigger and yours is that a guardian's is mental, while yours is physical. That might the root of the problem you have controlling your Epitaph. Triggers are not supposed to be physical."

"Well, I'm not supposed to be a guardian," said Haseo coldly. "Why do you get to mess around with Fleurs du Mal and I can't ever go back to being a PKK? At least I was doing something that helped this world, instead of just selling myself. That's what you do with Fleurs du Mal, isn't it? The only reason you didn't go ahead and report me to the authorities was because you just wanted to save your own ass."

Endrance walked around him in a half moon, thinking. But now there was something different about him. He was threatening. Haseo breathed in, ordering Skeith to calm down.

"I suppose this conversation would have occurred sooner or later," Endrance said softly. "The fact is, Haseo…"

Endrance drew his sword and carved a slice into Haseo's shoulder before Haseo could even blink.

"What the hell?!" Haseo shouted, immediately drawing back as he felt for the wound. It was careful; it was only deep enough to allow for blood to flow, and no deeper.

Endrance stepped back, and sheathed his sword. He didn't answer.

Then Haseo knew what was going on. "You bastard," he seethed, but it didn't matter. It was too late.

"Skeith, don't you dare," Haseo breathed. Then he was pushed to the back of his own mind.

The empty space—the way that Epitaphs saw the world—spread out in his vision. He saw another Epitaph. But this was the first time he ever really begrudged how his Skeith used him, instead of the other way around. For the first time, the Epitaph facing him was not a PK's, and it was not weak.

His Epitaph's instincts were good, but they couldn't hold up against a strong Epitaph, controlled by someone who calculated their attacks.

The empty space collapsed around him all too quickly, and Haseo sank to the rubble of old Carmina Gadelica. In the corner of his mind, he felt the stirrings of AIDA from farther away. Their little skirmish had alerted the AIDA slumbering in the ruins to their presence.

But Endrance was ignoring it for the moment. "I apologize," he said, his voice returning to its dulled monotone. Even his anger was simply something faked to awaken Haseo's Epitaph. "Here," Endrance said, offering his hand.

Haseo pointedly ignored it. He stood up and dusted himself off, and said nothing.

"So… you have to feel threatened. But you also need blood. I wonder…"

"You wonder what?"

"Much of awakening an Epitaph is tied to our emotions. You must have used your Epitaph as a PKK, am I right? So the other person could be someone you despised as well, as long as the emotional tie was there?"

Haseo shook his head. "It didn't work like that. I didn't hate them, I mean. The ones I killed. There was only one PK I hated, and I never encountered him in a fight," he added, although it was hesitant. "So it wasn't hate that made Skeith come out."

"Why did you hate that PK?"

"It was personal. And none of your business," Haseo said defensively. Endrance was the last person he wanted to talk about this with.

Then Endrance did something strange. He glanced all around them, as if looking for someone, or as if he were checking to make sure that no one else was there. "No signs of any other Epitaphs," he murmured. "Haseo, Terror of Death. I would like to make a deal with you."

Haseo blinked. "What? You want to make a deal with me, or with the Terror of Death? The Terror of Death isn't exactly around anymore, thanks to you. Who the hell do you think you are?"

"I—" Endrance began. "I'll help you find that PK you hate so much," he said quickly. When Haseo picked up the desperate notes in Endrance's voice, he started listening. "Is that what you want?"

Haseo glared at Endrance. "What are you trying to pull?"

"I need to speak with Bordeaux," Endrance said softly. "I know that as a PKK, you must have hunted her, so you can't have exactly been friends with her, but…"

"Are you insane?!" Haseo demanded. "In case you didn't notice, she had such a huge bounty on her head because she was running around murdering guardians. You know, those people who work at G.U. Like you," Haseo added.

"I don't think she's much interested in me," Endrance told him.

Haseo rolled his eyes. "For someone who spends so much time with Fleurs du Mal, you're an idiot. She's a Chaotic. She doesn't do things because she's reasonable—"

But then Haseo recalled the reason why he had let Bordeaux live, and realized he couldn't finish that sentence. Whatever she was doing, he couldn't argue that it wasn't for a reason. "And anyways, I've already found the PK I'm looking for. If someone hadn't stepped in and ruined my life, then I would have tracked him down by now."

He didn't add that the path might have led him to Moon Tree's front door.

"You want to do me a favor," Haseo said suddenly, "then you can tell me how far back you remember seeing Sakaki's name around." He didn't realize how circumstantially incriminating that sounded until after Endrance replied.

"You believe that Sakaki is this PK that you so despise…?" Endrance said flatly.

"I didn't say that," Haseo replied shortly. "I just have some other stuff going on right now with a friend of mine. A friend of Pi's and Kuhn's, too," he said, and then kept talking. He didn't want Endrance involved; he didn't want to know why Endrance wanted to speak to Bordeaux, and he knew for sure that he didn't want to help Endrance in any way.

"She used to be a member of Moon Tree. I didn't know her then. But she'd been acting weird lately, and now she's gone. I think Moon Tree has something to do with it. Every time someone brought up Moon Tree in conversation, she acted a little off."

The evening that he had seen Bordeaux in the café. He had been too distracted by her presence to really pay attention to what Atoli was saying, even though he had involved himself in the conversation. Atoli had told everyone that Sakaki's Epitaph was a Gorre. A Machinator.

Bordeaux had called the one she had been speaking with by that name.

A Gorre Epitaph was shared between two people. They might be twins, or siblings who Awoke at the same time, or even shared between two unrelated people who were very close. But when a single person bore a Gorre, rumor had it that person was insane. Chaotic. Like a PK.

"Why do you want to talk to Bordeaux?" Haseo wanted to know.

"I want to know why she targets guardians," Endrance answered him. "If there is a reason. Or if she is, like you say, a Chaotic."

The words hovered on Haseo's tongue. He could have told Endrance right then and there that Bordeaux was not only looking for somebody, but that she had a grudge against Zamiel and Monarch, one so powerful that she didn't even think that killing them would do her hatred justice.

"You can't help me with what I'm after," Haseo said instead. "You can't help me with anything."


	13. Ashen Echoes and Negotiation

Disclaimer: I don't own .hack. But everything not associated with .hack (original plot, etc.) does belong to me.

Pi leaves an interesting clue for the intro crew, and Dreaming Poppy figures out that something was up when Zamiel called up Endrance for a chat. Please enjoy, and please tell me what you think!

~greyrondo

"I asked practically everyone," Kite had said to Balmung as they stood outside the entrance of G.U, the next time they met. "Well, I didn't ask Albireo because I couldn't find him, but I asked Subaru and Crim, and Mimiru and Bear and Antares and, like I said, practically everyone. No one has seen Sora in real life. And last time I went for a thorough log-in, I saw something weird. I talked to Blackrose about it, but she didn't seem to think it that strange."

"The last time you went for a thorough log-in? What did you see?"

"I don't really know. I thought I saw a girl who looked kind of like Jun undergoing a thorough log-in in another room. But I don't know, I didn't really get a good look. Balmung, how many people here at G.U. log into Fragment?"

Balmung thought for a moment. "Almost everyone who could use training logs into Fragment. But not everyone does thorough log-ins."

"And we have to go through thorough log-ins because of our Epitaphs?"

"Of course," Balmung said.

"Do you know why we have to do thorough log-ins? I don't see any reason for it. It's not like we're plugged in any more to Fragment; the game's just like real life anyways."

"I don't think we should talk here, Kite," Balmung said. "But the next time I have a thorough log-in, I'll open my eyes a little more than I usually do."

It turned out that he didn't have to, because the next time he logged in to Fragment with Reki, there was a new guardian waiting for them, a young woman with coral hair like Jun's, named Pi.

**Chapter Thirteen: Ashen Echoes and Negotiation**

Endrance thought he was good at giving people what they wanted if they had something he was after. But even though he told himself that Haseo would have been less than cooperative—at best—considering that it was his fault that Haseo now belonged to G.U., he had tried to make an agreement anyways.

He should have been more patient. But this wasn't just something he was seeking on someone else's behalf; this was information about his past and why he was trapped in this present. And he didn't think he could wait. But rushing in without knowing all the information at hand was worse than waiting, and Endrance had done just that and received nothing as a result.

Dreaming Poppy hadn't been the one to 'introduce' him to Fleurs du Mal, even though he fully blamed Dreaming Poppy for everything. But even more, he blamed himself for letting Fleurs du Mal find him in the first place.

It had begun, really, on the last day Mia was still alive, and Endrance was still Elk. She told him that there was no place and no individual that he should be afraid of, so when he balked at the idea of her going to the Carmina Gadelica black market to search of someone, she forced him to come along, too.

Dreaming Poppy hadn't been Dreaming Poppy back then, but looking back, Endrance recognized him as the individual that Mia had sought out that night. That meant that even before the Outbreak, Pi's older brother had already sunk into the shadows of Carmina Gadelica.

"What are you looking at?" Mia had snarled at the man after Elk had winced away from his curious stare. "I won't trouble you anymore. Let's go," she said to Elk, but made it a point not to use his name to address him in front of that man.

Why did Mia seek him out? He didn't think to question her at the time, and he never got another chance to speak to her. That night, AIDA took her and Fort Ouph. It had been sudden, so sudden that when Elk Awoke, he was the one who had to drain the virus from her Epitaph. Mia didn't survive.

Some days, he genuinely believed it when he told himself that AIDA had killed her, not that he had Awoken a breath too late to drain the virus in time. Kuhn afterwards told him that people who attempted to drain the AIDA virus on their first Awakening usually became infected themselves, and that Elk was lucky to be alive.

Mia was the only official G.U. casualty from AIDA's assault on Fort Ouph. But Kuhn was wrong. Elk had also died. Endrance was the one who lived.

He blamed Dreaming Poppy for everything because the PKs that Dreaming Poppy had eventually sent after him were dead, killed by an amateur PKK, so they were no longer around to blame. And blaming Dreaming Poppy kept the fear away, because Mia said that he shouldn't be afraid.

So even though he was afraid of Dreaming Poppy and afraid of Zamiel's motives, Endrance resolved to do whatever it took to find out why Dreaming Poppy ran away from G.U. but insisted on keeping Endrance tied to Fleurs du Mal.

He blinked through the haze of Fleurs du Mal's den as he clung to the shadows of a wall. It was scenery that was both familiar and scenery that he tried desperately to ignore, in case one day it began to feel natural to him. Lumina Cloth was a new city, so the signs of wear were not in the bare walls or the saturated red floorboards, but in the frayed and dank impression given by the low ceilings, the unmoving air, and the plush fabrics that easily collected greasy dust.

"Blue Rose!" Dreaming Poppy snapped at him. He hadn't even heard Dreaming Poppy enter. Just when he was wondering how he might possibly acquire any information from Dreaming Poppy about anything, here the opportunity presented itself. Endrance just had no idea what he needed to do.

The others who had been lingering in the room—Hypnotic Sakura and Sycophant Mistletoe, and a few of Endrance's coworkers—quickly and silently exited. Dreaming Poppy held the door open for them, and then slowly closed it behind him.

"Tell me what Zamiel wanted with you," Dreaming Poppy demanded. His voice was still soft, but it had a sharpened clarity that Endrance had never heard before.

Endrance was quiet. Dreaming Poppy didn't move from the door.

"He wanted what all of Fleurs du Mal's customers want," Endrance told him. "Of course. I'm not sure exactly what you mean."

"I'm not stupid. I know that you're a guardian, Blue Rose," Dreaming Poppy said coldly. He abandoned the door and walked towards the center of the room. Endrance automatically took a step back, but then remembered the wall behind him and realized that he had nowhere to go. "I know that Zamiel is a guardian, too. So tell me, if he wanted what every other customer of Fleurs du Mal wanted, then how was the fallen white knight? There are plenty who fantasize about such an encounter, I'm sure."

Dreaming Poppy crossed the room, and unapologetically forced Endrance against the wall with the side of his arm. He really did look like Pi.

Endrance didn't say anything.

"That's what I thought," Dreaming Poppy muttered. "So answer my question. Why did he pay to talk to you when the both of you have plenty of opportunity to speak in your workplace? Was it about something you couldn't discuss in front of your peers?"

Dreaming Poppy narrowed his eyes. "If Zamiel found you here, does Pi know that you work here for me?"

"No," Endrance said quickly. "She doesn't know. I didn't even know that Zamiel knew about it," he added. That much was true enough.

The panic behind Dreaming Poppy's eyes relaxed and became replaced by a cruel, quicksilver glaze. His free arm slipped to his side and unsheathed a short, thin blade; he took care to drag the metal against the sheath, making a chilled whine.

"I suppose I knew that Zamiel had ulterior motives when he requested you. You're not exactly his type," Dreaming Poppy mused. "You're much too refined. And he does obsess so unhealthily over something that should have been forgotten about years ago. Is that why you're here?"

"Why I'm here?" Endrance echoed. "You've kept me here for years. I don't have a choice."

Dreaming Poppy sighed as he dragged the tip of the knife along Endrance's cheek, clinical and clean as a surgical incision. "Elk, you've been mine for more years of your life than you can remember. Forcing you to come to Fleurs du Mal was simply a way of returning things to the norm."

"What did you call me…?" Endrance breathed, exhaling sharply as he winced away from Dreaming Poppy's knife. His blood stammered in his veins; he wondered if he was going to die. Just because most of Fleurs du Mal weren't technically PKs didn't mean they shared none of a PK's sadism. "What are you talking about? I'd never even seen you before that day in Carmina Gadelica."

Instead of replying, Dreaming Poppy kissed Endrance along the line of blood. When he had traced the cut from below Endrance's eye to his throat, Dreaming Poppy locked onto Endrance's lower lip. Endrance could taste his own blood, and had the feeling that had been intentional.

"You're sick," Endrance whispered, breaking away.

"No," Dreaming Poppy said harshly, as if he were denying another accusation besides simply Endrance's. "I simply want to save this world—"

But he didn't continue that train of thought. "I wish I could have been there to see your Epitaph Awaken for the first time. After all my hard work, to not be able to see the final result is quite disheartening…"

There was a slick silver flash as Dreaming Poppy pulled the blade back. But it didn't stay there.

Endrance cried out. White pain jolted through his shoulder like lightning, and he felt the insistent heat of his own blood soaking through his shirt.

"Sorry, I don't have the touch I used to, Elk. I'm out of practice. And of course, there's no time for anaesthesia. Why don't you tell me what Zamiel wanted? What is Lord Balmung of Azure Sky after?"

"No," Endrance hissed through the pain. "You don't understand. I can't. I don't know anything. He's looking for something that he couldn't even define to me. So I told him that I wouldn't help him. I don't trust him."

"Then you're smart," Dreaming Poppy said plainly. He roughly pulled the blade out of Endrance's shoulder, and stepped back a single stride. "Smarter than someone I could mention."

Whoever that was, Endrance didn't know.

Endrance collapsed to the floor. He clenched his hand over the wound, not that it did him any good. "I don't know what Zamiel wanted to know, but there's something I want to know. Why did Mia seek you out the day that she died?"

Dreaming Poppy smirked. "She wanted to maintain a bargain of ours. She had wanted to take your place. But how can you keep up a bargain when you're dead? The way I heard what happened—well, either way, she would have died for you, so I suppose it doesn't matter."

"For what…?" Endrance asked. "What purpose?"

"It's not important," Dreaming Poppy said vaguely. "Someone else had already paid for all of you a while before Mia came to talk to me. But now that someone is gone. And like I said, it's hard to keep a bargain when you're dead. Unless…"

Dreaming Poppy exhaled in disbelief. "Unless that's what Zamiel is seeking. He wants to finish what we started before the Outbreak…I now understand. Little wonder he didn't speak to me directly of this; to him, it's something only he can do. If he succeeds, then this world can finally envision being free from AIDA. Blue Rose, get one of your coworkers to heal you. We're going to go looking for somebody."

It sounded odd that Dreaming Poppy would speak so well of Zamiel, when Zamiel had been anything but kind towards Dreaming Poppy's name when he had asked for Endrance's help.

But then, Dreaming Poppy had just said that Endrance was smart not to trust Zamiel. Monarch had said that Zamiel prized the safety of the world over anything else. Endrance wondered where that put Dreaming Poppy's priorities.

Endrance grimaced, fighting back the pain. "Why must I come with…?"

"Because I cannot make a bargain without bringing something to the table."


	14. Interpretation and Harlequin Malaise

Disclaimer: I don't own .hack. But everything not associated with .hack (original plot, etc.) does belong to me.

I think the last version of Fair Dawn stopped at chapter fourteen, and... this is nowhere near where it stopped, if I remember correctly! Also, one very thoughtful reviewer brought up italics for the flashback scenes, and I think they will help. Please enjoy, and please let me know what you think!

~greyrondo

"_I wonder what kind of person Sora was," Kite had mused quietly as they sat in Fragment's cathedral. Blackrose was there also, and so were Mia and Reki. The new girl, Pi, wasn't logged in today, and like Sora, no one had seen her in real life except for Kite's glimpse that day._

"_We could ask BT, if anyone wants to track her down," Blackrose said. "For that matter, we could ask Sora if we could track him down."_

"_Want me to check? I've got access to all the logs," Reki supplied suddenly._

"_You can do that?!" Blackrose exclaimed. "Then what are you waiting for?"_

"_I don't see what good it would do," Mia said then. "Sure, we could know what kind of person he was, but that wouldn't make him any less gone than he is at this moment. Blackrose, what you said earlier seems like a good idea. Why don't we try to find Sora and BT? We know what they look like, thanks to their avatars in the game."_

"_I agree," Balmung said. "In the event that they were both fine, they would likely be together, so that would make our search easier. But…"_

_Then it got quiet._

"_They wouldn't be together if Sora became a Lost One," Blackrose said softly. "He would be in a hospital somewhere, like Lord Orca. Or, what if they're dead?"_

"_Don't be silly," Mia told her. "This is just a game. Sure, we can feel what happens in the game because that helps training, but there is no crossover from this game to reality."_

"_Lord Orca disproved that," Balmung said. "If Sora's Epitaph infected Lord Orca's in this game and caused Lord Orca to become a Lost One in real life, then it would only make sense that Sora also became a Lost One. Which would make it easier to find him because he would be, as Blackrose said, in a hospital. But then what would we find?"_

"_We'd just find some spaced-out Lost One," Blackrose said. "He wouldn't be able to answer any of our questions—but wait a second, why are we trying to find him anyways?"_

"_Because," Kite said then. "If no one else has seen Sora, that means that he hasn't ever gone out on a mission to defend Mac Anu or Carmina Gadelica from AIDA. So, his Epitaph hadn't Awoken yet. And if his Epitaph hasn't Awoken, then what was he doing here in G.U.? And how did his Epitaph get infected?"_

_Mia looked off, not meeting anyone's eyes. "Jun. Those are questions that Jun can answer. But he won't. So we'll have to find BT and ask her, and hope she knows even a fraction of what Jun does. The fact that she's gone, even though nothing happened to her in that incident, means something, doesn't it?"_

"_It certainly does. If we talk to her, then we'll know what," Kite said. _

**Chapter Fourteen: Interpretation and Harlequin Malaise**

It was too quiet. Haseo wondered if the quiet would be better or worse, if he had ignored Atoli less when she was still here. If nothing else, her mundane rambling would have distracted his mind from thinking about Endrance.

He dragged himself from his bed to his desk, a distance of less than two feet. But it felt like a hundred miles. Whatever Endrance's Epitaph had done to him not only made him sore, but it had mentally exhausted him as well. He had never fought a Macha before. They weren't really the type to PK.

What Haseo really wanted to do was log on to Reality. But he didn't want to play the game, he just wanted to talk to Kaoru. Not that there was anything about Haseo's life right now that he wanted to share, but thinking over the artificial crisis of Reality with Kaoru felt calming, almost like meditation.

But at least Kaoru had replied to his message.

_I take it that when you ask me how you can find out your 'online' identity, you're not trying to look up the name on your user agreement. Unless you've been afflicted with amnesia since you signed up, but you seemed to remember me fairly well…_

_But on a more serious note, have you tried using the PC in your offline character's home? Of course you can't really access 'The World', but that's how I discovered my character's identity (that's secret, of course.)_

_Although… now that I say it, you might as well just look at your user agreement. My online identity for The World was just who I was in real life. You're not planning on snooping around and looking at other people's identities, are you?_

_Just kidding. As much fun as it would be to, say, discover that your worst enemy played a ten year-old kid or something like that, it wouldn't have much of a point._

_Kaoru_

Too bad that was exactly what Haseo wanted to do. He wanted to know just who had suddenly spooked Kaoru.

Then it hit him. Kaoru wasn't the only person who could run. If Haseo really wanted, then he could do the same thing. He could disappear. Endrance is the only person who can track his Epitaph, since other taggers wouldn't know his Skeith. And whether it was hatred speaking or not, Haseo felt like he could handle Endrance, even though his bruises told him otherwise.

If he disappeared, he wouldn't have to waste his time with G.U. He could go after Bordeaux, and the PK who had killed Silabus and Gaspard. Even if that PK was actually Sakaki. It wasn't like Haseo had a plan for his life after finding that PK, anyways.

How pathetic was that?

Maybe he needed to stick it out with G.U. after all. As much as he hated Endrance, he didn't like the fact that his life had been going nowhere, either. Antares had been right. Up to a point.

There was a reason that Ovan had appeared in his life again, even if Ovan himself was dead. There was something left unsaid between them, something that motivated Ovan to come to him so many years ago. Something that motivated Ovan to give him that knife. Something that motivated Bordeaux to murder Ovan.

He didn't see why he had to give up being the Terror of Death in order to be a guardian.

Fully logging into the game, he started in Ryou's home. It was grey, nondescript. Empty. Usually, he left as quickly as he could, even though the city outside wasn't much better. But this time, he didn't want to leave. He stayed right there, sitting at his terminal. Instead of going into the real menu and accessing any options from there, he focused on the PC itself.

There was a logo there for The World. A game inside of a game, but a game based on the real world. He tried logging on, as if he were sitting at a terminal as Haseo. And everything worked like Kaoru had said. Except for one thing.

His 'online' identity wasn't Haseo. In The World, he played a character named Sora.

Sora?

Offline, Haseo frowned. But if he and his 'online' identity didn't match up, then Satoshi Fujio and Yukito Kurosaki maybe didn't match up with Monarch and Zamiel, either.

Which made less and more sense at the same time. He didn't see why the real Monarch and Zamiel would spook Kaoru, but that meant that Kaoru perhaps knew people shadier than the real Monarch and Zamiel, and that was what currently kept him from logging on to Reality.

_Kaoru,_ he typed in a new message, _there's something weird with my account. It doesn't say my real name; it says I'm this person named 'Sora'. Any clue who that could be? Who knows, maybe I'm supposed to be role-playing a character who knows more about the Twilight Dragon. Or about something cool, anyways. Log back on as soon as you can._

_Ryou _

The Terror of Death would hold a grudge against Endrance. Haseo couldn't afford to do such a thing, not when Endrance was searching for the same answer that he was: a reason for Bordeaux's behavior.

He had to talk to Antares, whether it was as the Terror of Death or as just Haseo.

It felt odd, walking near the black market as a normal person, being watched as if he didn't belong. He was used to sticking out, used to be watched, but never because he looked innocent instead of guilty. When he reached Antares's bar, it almost seemed like a place that wasn't quite real. But when Antares just looked at him and walked upstairs, without saying a single word, Haseo knew that he had this one chance to speak.

"Antares," Haseo said, his voice tight, as he followed. "You know things that I don't. Things I would give anything to know. If I'm going to give up being the Terror of Death, I want you to tell me something: is Sakaki the PK who killed Silabus and Gaspard?"

"Yes," Antares said simply. "The one who killed your friends is also Sakaki of Moon Tree."

So it was true. Then there was nothing Haseo could have done as the Terror of Death, then, after all. It was one thing to go after some wild, lawless PK. That was something a PKK did. But to go after the man who essentially led Moon Tree, the man who held the strings of the CCC, that was beyond a PKK's abilities.

"Then," Haseo continued, "is Sakaki still the person who killed my friends? Or is he Sakaki of Moon Tree?"

"As for that," Antares said, "I don't know."

Sakaki was the one that Bordeaux was speaking with that night in Carmina Gadelica. If Sakaki was a bloodthirsty schemer or a bastion for peace, either way, Antares knew.

"Old man," Haseo said, "you're lying to me again. I knew you were lying to me when you said that you didn't recognize the name Ovan, too. But that's okay. Something's going on around here and you don't want to be involved. I get it. Sooner or later, though, you'll have to come clean like I did."

"You'd dare threaten me, Terror of Death," Antares said heavily.

"Terror of Death?" Haseo repeated. "I don't know who you're talking about. I'm Haseo of G.U. And just so you know, that night I didn't kill Bordeaux, Sakaki said some things that didn't sound so friendly towards my fellow guardians. Not that it's my business, but you're the one with connections in every nook and cranny of the world. If you're loyal to anyone, or at least more loyal to them than you were to me, then figure out who you'd like to see come out of this alive."

That was the last of the Terror of Death's anger bleeding out. When Haseo's voice fell silent, he felt drained, like his words had been a scouring catharsis that left him empty inside. He closed his eyes.

"I guess I've overstayed my welcome. I'll be seeing you around, Antares," Haseo said as he opened his eyes, and ducked into the landing.

"Wait, Haseo," Antares called after him as he took the first step.

"You think I turned you in, sold you out. You're not half wrong. But I can't tell you anything."

"Why the hell not?" he demanded without turning around. Maybe he wasn't done being angry after all.

"Get mad at me; I don't care. It's more important that I keep one thing secret from Sakaki than it is that I keep nothing secret from you."

"What…?" Haseo breathed.

"Guardian," Antares said heavily, "get out of here before someone sees me talking to you. Find your answers somewhere else. At least now you know that there's something you don't know, and it's not just about Bordeaux. But don't let the trail go cold on that Bordeaux stuff, either. It's all related. That's all I've got to tell you."

With that, Haseo wanted to ask something more. He turned around, and looked at Antares. But Antares just shook his head. "Not another word, I'm ordering you. I don't even want to hear so much as a 'goodbye'. Get out of my establishment. I don't want to see you around here ever again."

There was nothing else Haseo could do. The tightness in Antares's voice said that Antares had spoken too much, had given away more than he thought was safe. For him, that is. But he had done it for Haseo's sake, which didn't count for nothing.

Outside, Haseo wondered what he should do next. Antares had said outright that figuring out Bordeaux's motives would help Haseo understand... something.

"I don't understand what Lord Sakaki of Moon Tree has to do with anything—"

Haseo's gaze shot up like lightning in the direction of that voice. There was so much else going on around him in Lumina Cloth that he wouldn't have even noticed it if he didn't know that voice was Endrance's.

If Endrance was around here, then he was screwing around with Fleurs du Mal. Maybe even literally, for all Haseo knew. And since the only reason that he would be around here was for Fleurs du Mal, how would Sakaki's name ever come into the conversation? Even if Moon Tree was suddenly cozy with supposedly repentant PKs, Fleurs du Mal was something else entirely.

Following the sound of Endrance's cry, he froze at the mouth of an alley. Coral hair, woman's clothes, skin with the pearly ash luster of smoke layered over it like oil. Dreaming Poppy of Fleurs du Mal himself.

Heat flashed up Haseo's spine into his cheeks and clawed low in his midsection.

Dreaming Poppy shoved Endrance against the wall, forcing his mouth on Endrance's before dropping to his throat. Haseo couldn't help but see the ripped cloth and bloodied shoulder underneath.

Endrance cringed, and then exhaled and looked up for obvious fear that someone would be watching. The look in his eyes struck Haseo with so much shock that Haseo took a step backwards. He had trespassed on something private and something terrible.

"Get away from him," Haseo heard himself say as if he were standing separate from his body.

Haseo endured Dreaming Poppy's cold stare for one moment before Dreaming Poppy fell back. That was the last thing he had expected. But far from looking surprised or upset, Dreaming Poppy smiled. He looked pleased, satisfied.

"Better you than me," was all Dreaming Poppy said.


	15. Absence and Cracked Alabaster

Disclaimer: I don't own .hack. But everything not associated with .hack (original plot, etc.) does belong to me.

Lycoris makes her first appearance (although a literally fleeting one) in this chapter! Please enjoy, and please tell me what you think!

~greyrondo

_After that conversation in the cathedral, Blackrose had left immediately because she was determined to track down BT, and Kite had gone with her to make sure she didn't run into any trouble. But Mia stayed behind._

"_I found out the type of person he was," Reki called out in the thoughtful silence. "Sorry I kind of bailed on the conversation back there, but I was interested, even if nobody else was."_

"_I think anything can help," Balmung told him._

"_Well, Sora was pretty immature for a guy his age," Reki began. "He was always messing around. Apparently BT was assigned to him as his babysitter. It's almost like he was a little kid playing an adult."_

"_Do you know what's also childish?" Mia said then. "Going after Sora like this, as if it would bring Orca back. Kite's still a boy, but you should know better, Lord Balmung."_

_It was quiet after that. Balmung didn't know what to say._

"_If something happened to Elk, wouldn't you want to know who or what was ultimately responsible?" Reki said then, a little louder than he needed to. "I might not have been paying complete attention to the conversation back there, but I noticed when you started acting strange after you brought up Jun. You're holding something back, aren't you?"_

"_I—" Mia began. But at that moment, the door to the cathedral opened. It was just a crack; whoever was behind it didn't have the strength to force it open like Kite or Blackrose._

_They all fell silent as a little girl with white hair, dressed in red, peered around the door. She seemed about to call out, but as she saw the group there, her eyes went wide and she disappeared behind the door again, and they heard tiny, panicked footsteps run off._

_Balmung didn't know why, but he stood up immediately and ran to the door. But even though it would have been impossible for the girl in the red dress to reach the chaos gate in that time, by the time he had stepped into the twilight sun, she had disappeared._

**Chapter Fifteen: Absence and Cracked Alabaster**

Haseo watched Dreaming Poppy saunter off, too occupied with wondering how to approach Endrance's current state to begin a chase.

"Why did you do that?!" Endrance demanded. "I had him right where I wanted him!"

"…what? Did I just hear you right?"

Endrance grimaced. "Not like that, you pervert. Dreaming Poppy knows something that I want to know, and I—"

"I am not a pervert!" Haseo insisted. "Are you saying you were letting him beat you up and practically rape you on the street just so you could—"

With that, Haseo looked away. Suddenly, he couldn't get the image of Dreaming Poppy's mouth on Endrance's out of his head. But that wasn't right; he hated Endrance. Maybe that was it. All Skeiths had a sadistic streak, Haseo knew, but that took it too far.

"Look, better me than the Cobalt Knights, all right?" Haseo added softly, mutedly.

"Sure. In the off-hand chance that Kamui herself had showed up right then, I would have been thrown in jail. But no, it had to be you. You can't throw me in jail. You aren't a Cobalt Knight, so when Fleurs du Mal comes after me, you won't be able to do anything to stop them. They're going to kill me now. Thanks for everything," Endrance muttered, his voice acidic.

Given the current circumstances, Haseo had forgotten about their conversation where Haseo had refused Endrance's offer to help him in exchange for assistance with meeting Bordeaux. Obviously, Endrance had not. "Hey, where did that attitude come from? I didn't think it was possible for you to be pissed off."

Haseo thought he had hated Endrance, and he thought he had made it pretty clear during training earlier that day. Maybe Endrance was just returning the favor; Haseo had no reasonable right to get defensive. But Endrance's sarcasm stung.

"I'm leaving now," Endrance told him. "Dreaming Poppy may have been, what did you say, practically raping me, but at least I would have had a home to go back to after that. Fleurs du Mal knows where I live," he sighed. "So unless you're offering up a secure place for me to stay, I'm going to have to disappear for a little and pray that I can somehow outsmart an ex-PK ring."

Haseo had been a breath away from offering his apartment. At least with Atoli gone, it wouldn't have been lonely. And Endrance already knew Kuhn and Pi.

"I guess I'll be going to Dol Dona, then," Endrance mused.

Bordeaux had mentioned Dol Dona, in that conversation that he had overheard in the Mac Anu café. Someone else had maybe gone there to hide, the someone that she sought.

Haseo fervently shook his head. "If you're trying to hide, don't go somewhere where everyone will recognize you and there aren't that many people to cover you in the crowd. Damn it all," he said suddenly. "Why am I telling you how to disappear?"

He had stopped, but Endrance kept moving.

"Endrance, wait!" Haseo shouted out. But Endrance was gone.

Haseo started running, and didn't stop until he reached the square. "Endrance!" he shouted out, in front of everyone. He felt embarrassment stain his cheeks, and it felt a little like the tattoos he had drawn on his face when he was the Terror of Death. Something strong, something to hide behind. Something not real.

Why did he feel embarrassed? He wasn't sure if he cared much about Endrance, but he didn't want Endrance to disappear.

Endrance did turn around, at the same time that Haseo heard a commanding, sickly sweet and falsely steady voice at his back. It only said his name, but he understood far more.

"You!" Haseo snarled, whipping around. "Sakaki," he practically spat. "I've heard your voice before, selling your brand of brainwashing around here!"

The stately man seemed unfazed by the accusation. But his words were pushed deeper than spite. "You still reek of blood, Terror of Death. But my pardon. Are you perhaps in the middle of the chase? Where's your… costume?"

The color drained from Haseo's face. How could Sakaki know?

Endrance knew that Haseo was the Terror of Death, but Haseo doubted Endrance had ever had a conversation like that with Sakaki. Antares knew that Haseo was the Terror of Death, but he was keeping something from Sakaki. Atoli knew he was the Terror of Death. And Atoli was missing. Haseo remembered that day they had gone into Mac Anu, and she had acted strange around the Moon Tree representative there.

"You've got Atoli," Haseo snarled.

Sakaki gathered himself into a respectfully smug smile. "Yes, we are happy that Atoli has rejoined us. There was never any pressure, of course. She said she needed time, and we were more than happy to oblige. We are happy to share with her the new perspective she brings into Moon Tree."

"You bastard, you forced her. You kidnapped her, brainwashed her. Where is she?!"

Sakaki sighed patiently, as if he were suddenly aware that he was dealing with a petulant child, and he wanted the entire world to know that he was martyring himself for the cause.

"Fine, I'll play it your way," Haseo said suddenly, gathering himself into some sense of composure. "What do you want?"

Sakaki looked at him appraisingly, and then shrugged with dissatisfaction. "Nothing. I have no business with you."

"Then what's with the blackmail, unless you just like flaunting that you know I used to be the Terror of Death," Haseo spat.

Sakaki raised an eyebrow. "Oh," he laughed cordially. "There's no blackmail. I just wanted you to know that there are no lies, no deceit, within the boundaries of Moon Tree. You are Haseo to me, and you are the Terror of Death to me as well. Until you commit yourself to your new role as a guardian, that is. I await your metamorphosis," he added.

"How thoughtful of you," Haseo muttered.

"My beliefs have the power to change people," was all that Sakaki said, somewhat airily, as he pushed past Haseo. "Oh, my apologies," he added casually, as he accidentally brushed against Endrance. And stopped.

"You… I know you. But from where, I do wonder," Sakaki asked and, after a frozen instant, continued walking.

Sakaki left, but Endrance's shaking didn't leave with him.

"Endrance, what's wrong," Haseo wanted to know. But Endrance just looked down at him, glared for a moment, and then shrugged away.

"Just let me be alone," Endrance said. "I don't have anything you want; I don't have anything you need. The only person who needed me for anything was Dreaming Poppy. And Zamiel, I suppose."

"It's not about that," Haseo insisted. "Endrance, trust me. Forget about earlier. You don't want to have to think about finding somewhere to stay right now. I used to be a PKK, let me give you a hand."

"I know that you used to be a PKK. I'm the reason you aren't one right now, remember?" Endrance told him. And that was all; he turned around and left without another word.

Haseo didn't make it back to his apartment until late. While walking in circles, he thought in circles too. Antares, actively trying to keep Haseo in the dark so that he could keep something hidden from Sakaki. Bordeaux, in conversation with Sakaki about her vendetta against guardians. Atoli, lost to Moon Tree. And Endrance, speaking about Sakaki to Dreaming Poppy, and then shaking when Sakaki brushed against him.

Sakaki, being there to forgive him and force him to join G.U. Had that been coincidence, or something more?

Endrance, searching for Bordeaux. Haseo also searching for Bordeaux, but it had been more of a curiosity until Ovan had resurfaced from his memories, and Antares confirmed Bordeaux's place in whatever all of this was.

And Endrance had mentioned Zamiel. Offhandedly, but he had still said that Zamiel had needed him for something. Just like Satoshi Fujio and Yukito Kurosaki needed Kaoru and himself.

But Endrance didn't need him. Haseo didn't even want to think that he wanted Endrance to need him. He really wanted Kaoru to need him, but in Kaoru's absence, there was nothing Ryou could do for him. It was hard to help someone who had logged out of your life with the click of a mouse.

If Haseo was a guardian now, then why didn't people need him?

When he logged onto Reality that night, there wasn't any mail from Kaoru. Not that he should have expected any; only a couple of hours had passed since he had sent his own message to Kaoru. But the silence felt different, somehow. Between Kaoru and Atoli, there was too much quiet.


	16. Transparency and Kaleidoscopic Reality

Disclaimer: I don't own .hack. But everything not associated with .hack (original plot, etc.) does belong to me.

While writing this, I gradually came to like Bordeaux's and Kamui's characters more (they don't interact as much now, but it comes into play later.) Please enjoy, and please let me know what you think!

~greyrondo

_The day after they had seen the strange girl dressed in red in the cathedral, Reki came up to Balmung in the upstairs lounge. Balmung had been staring blankly out the window at the canal running by the G.U. headquarters and the banners waving in the breeze._

"_I checked out the girl NPC that we saw," Reki said then. "Balmung, she doesn't exist. What we saw was something not present in Fragment's code. I don't know how to react. We did see her, right? I'm not crazy?"_

"_I saw her, and so did Mia," Balmung said. "How can she not exist?"_

"_I went back in the visual records. We were there, in the cathedral, but when the door opened, there wasn't anybody there. When you got up, it looked like you had just run after nothing. It's… strange."_

_Balmung nodded. But then he had a thought. "Reki, there are visual records? Who else can access them, besides yourself?"_

"_Master Yata, if he ever had that sort of free time," Reki said. "Jun, I imagine," he added, and then his face paled._

"_Our conversation with Mia," he said then. "I mean, if there's nothing to worry about, there's nothing to worry about. I'm sure that Sora is just in a hospital somewhere and BT requested vacation or something to deal with the entire situation. Balmung, you don't think that what we're looking into could be—I mean, as guardians, we have a right to know what they're doing to us, don't we?"_

"_I'll log on," Balmung said then. "See if I can't find that girl again. If it's just a bunch of wayward code within the game, then maybe returning to the cathedral will trigger her presence again."_

_They both heard a shrill cry from downstairs. It wasn't a voice that either recognized. _

"_What was that?" Reki asked._

_Balmung stood up. "Well, I'm going downstairs anyways."_

"_You're braver than I am," Reki said as he shook his head. "But I have common sense, so I guess it evens out."_

"_Hey," Balmung said with a sideways smile as he left the lounge. But his mood froze when he reached the main floor's landing. Mia's friend Elk quaked in his chair behind the front desk, and Ovan stood there firmly, his one normal arm gripped across the shoulders of a young woman who was not in a good mood. She had tanned skin, dark hair, and the kind of sculpted face that easily gave itself to a severe expression._

"_Miss, we have resources within Moon Tree that you are free to make use of when dealing with this sort of thing—" Ovan began._

"_Don't condescend to me, you bastard," she seethed. "I'm not crazy, and I know that you would just love to have me conveniently disappear so that no one would know what you're doing here in G.U. to the people you kidnap and imprison here. I have friends who remember my brother too, and neighbors! Do you think that they've forgotten him? You think they don't ask after him, don't wonder why no one ever sees his face, not even at the Guardian Palace, if you've really made him a guardian? It's only a matter of time before more people notice, before someone who can command a bigger audience than just me, points out that something's not right." _

_Ovan narrowed his eyes. "You're his sister—" he began, but then he looked up at that moment and saw Balmung standing there. The young woman looked up too._

_She didn't have the eyes. But Epitaphs, of course, made it so that something like that didn't necessarily matter._

"_I'm sorry that you have to see this, Lord Balmung," Ovan said in a voice much clearer than the one he would have spoken in, had he not noticed Balmung then. "Unfortunately, even G.U.'s foyer is not immune to the disturbances of the less stable members of society."_

"_You're Lord Balmung of Azure Sky," the young woman said then in half-astonishment. "You heard him, didn't you? You heard him acknowledge me; he doesn't really think I'm crazy. If you're really the defender of this world that everyone says you are, then find my brother and protect him from the people who pretend to believe in the same ideals you do!"_

"_Miss, we're leaving now. I'm going to have to report you to the Cobalt Knights—" Ovan insisted._

"_Please, our childhood friend Hokuto is the one you saved from AIDA the day you first Awoke, and the one who gave you that title," she continued, refusing to budge. "If you truly deserve that name, then please—his name is Albireo." _

**Chapter Sixteen: Transparency and Kaleidoscopic Reality**

Ryou stared across the table. He was used to this pastel-painted location, but not the person sitting across from him. He didn't feel like he could do this without Kaoru's help. But Kaoru was gone, now, and Ryou guessed that his time playing as the person who didn't know anything should come to an end too. He wasn't a beginner anymore.

"Should we continue this conversation at another time?" Satoshi Fujio asked cordially.

"No, I'm fine," Ryou said quickly. "Sorry."

"Don't be. Anyways, like I was saying, you don't have to communicate with Mr. Kurosaki in addition to me; anything you send to me will be forwarded to him if it's appropriate."

"You do know this is a game, right?" Ryou said then. "This isn't the real world."

"But it's a game that has serious ramifications in the real world. The time when the internet had no effect on the real world is ancient history. You haven't already forgotten Pluto's Kiss, have you?"

"That's not what I meant," Ryou said quietly. "I mean, this, here and now, is a game. Why would you spend your free time acting like another player's assistant? If you wanted to do that, you could just get another job."

For some reason, that made Satoshi Fujio smile. "How do you know that we're both player characters? Maybe he's an NPC; maybe I'm an NPC. Or maybe I'm one player who plays both characters. Speaking of what people do with their free time, where is Kaoru?"

"Not here," Ryou said immediately. "He said he had some obligations in the real world that would take a few days to clear up."

"So he's playing a game," Satoshi Fujio said understandingly.

"That's not what I meant—" Ryou began, but then shook his head. "Never mind. I guess anything you say to me will go through to him, too. So what's the plan for today?"

"No plans," Satoshi Fujio said casually. "Just talk. I apologize for calling you all the way out here if you were planning something more. Although most of the game we're playing seems to be just 'talk.' The game of exchanging information, I mean. Who else have you been talking to besides Kaoru?"

"No one," Ryou answered, staring at the table. For some reason, even though this was a café, he never seemed to order anything, and no one seemed to care.

"That can't be," Satoshi Fujio replied. "He must have at least introduced you to some of his other contacts—but he wouldn't have any other contacts, would he," Satoshi Fujio mused.

Ryou looked up. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"In 'The World', he plays solo. Not, 'solo' isn't quite the right way to describe it, because even solo players make friends. He isolates himself."

"Do you mean in the real world?" Ryou wanted to know.

"I mean it's the game that he plays," Satoshi Fujio said vaguely.

This Satoshi Fujio was beginning to tick off Haseo. "So what's the game that you play? Or how about the game that Mr. Kurosaki plays? Why does he want to find the Twilight Dragon? And don't say that because it's 'part of the game'. Everyone who plays this game logs on for different reasons."

That made Satoshi Fujio smile. "You're getting it," he said in a way that was bare of any condescension. "How many people do you think play 'Reality'? The answer is smaller than you're guessing. There's only a handful. You, me, Kaoru, and a few others. I won't name them; I haven't spoken to all of them."

"Then how do you know all of this? You are a player, aren't you?"

"I just said I was. But that's only a valid question if you know for a fact that all players are equal. But in every game, there are hackers, cheaters, slackers, rule-abiders. There are people who have been playing for longer and know the rules better; there are people who have chanced upon some hidden skill or lucked into finding a loophole. There are people who bring more knowledge into the game than others, and find some way to apply that knowledge."

"I get it," Ryou said after a moment of silence. "So what exactly is all this talk for? Are you telling me to keep playing, to go looking for something until I get lucky, or to learn more outside and bring that into this game?"

"We're all looking for something," Satoshi Fujio said. "And we all have to keep playing. So you have to do something that only you can do."

"Do you actually have any idea where the Twilight Dragon might be?"

"Somewhere in The World. That's not very specific, I know," Satoshi Fujio sighed. "So we basically know as much as you do; we've just been playing at this for much longer. If there's anything you want to know, you can ask, since we're on equal terms as far as knowledge pertaining to the location of the Twilight Dragon goes."

Ryou thought for a moment. "Why exactly is outside knowledge important? Is it because you believe that the Twilight Dragon exists in The World? Do you mean the real world, and does that mean that you're actually searching, or is this just a hypothetical game? Does that mean that we can't ever really find the Twilight Dragon?"

"Personally," Satoshi Fujio said then, "I believe that the Twilight Dragon can't be found."

"Then why play?" Ryou wanted to know.

"This won't make sense to you, but I keep playing because I believe that it can't be found. If I ever came to the point where I believed that the Twilight Dragon could possibly be located, then I would likely stop playing."

"That doesn't make sense," Ryou insisted.

"How well do you know the Epitaph of Twilight?" Satoshi Fujio asked.

"Pretty well," Ryou told him. "I… I used to be interested in all that stuff. Those myths and legends. About Aura and the Wave and everything else."

"We have something in common, then," Satoshi Fujio said happily. "So you know, then, that the Twilight Dragon was never found. In the Epitaph of Twilight, I mean."

Ryou nodded. "But why would you want to play that? Then the game will never end."

"Exactly. Games can end in two ways: either everything and everyone dies, or a new story begins. But how do you know that the new story will be better than the one that ended? What if the world that the new story begins inside of is a terrible world, or filled with terrible people? What if it's infested with monsters, or if it's under the control of some cruel leader?"

He made a good point. But Ryou remembered something. "You didn't answer my question. Do you believe that the Twilight Dragon is real?"

"I don't believe that the Twilight Dragon is real," Satoshi Fujio answered him. But he said it oddly. "Anyways, Aura isn't real. Neither is the Wave. But the Epitaphs of the Wave are very, very real. Does that mean that Aura and the Wave aren't real, or just that we haven't seen either entity?"

"So why is Mr. Kurosaki searching for it?"

Satoshi Fujio laughed. "I can't dodge any of your questions, can I? For that, you'll have to ask him personally."

"But you said that I have to contact him indirectly through you."

"That's what I said," Satoshi Fujio affirmed. "So Ryou," he said then, "why are you searching for the Twilight Dragon?"

"Because it's the objective of the game," Ryou answered. "I want to play this game, so I have to want what the game needs me to want. I guess I don't really care if I find the Twilight Dragon then, either, if I put it that way."

"But you'll still actively search for it."

"I don't want Kaoru to come back and see me empty-handed," Ryou said with a shrug. "who exactly are the dot hackers? In relation to the real world, I mean. Not that story about defeating the Wave."

"That's a heavy question to ask," Satoshi Fujio admitted. "One that isn't so easy to answer when you think about it carefully. Are you asking about the in-game identities of the corresponding figures in the real world, assuming that they are also playing this game?"

"No, not really. I mean, that would be good to know, but I guess what I'm really asking is this: do the dot hackers, as a group, have a real-world equivalent?"

Then suddenly Ryou had an idea. In the story of Reality, the dot hackers saved The World from the Wave. If the Wave was kind of like AIDA, then that made the dot hackers not unlike G.U.

He, Haseo, was a guardian. The person who Satoshi Fujio represented, whether he actually was Monarch or not, was also a guardian. The same for Yukito Kurosaki. That would make Kaoru a guardian, as well. Or at least it would make the person he was supposed to represent in the real world a guardian.

A guardian who, according to Satoshi Fujio, played a very quiet game in the real world.

"Hey, do you know of any players who are supposed to be someone in The World that they aren't in real life? When you log into your computer in your home," Ryou explained, "and you can log into The World, up to a certain point. And it tells you your username. But what if that username doesn't match up with who you are in real life?"

"Are you asking for yourself, or are you asking because of Mr. Kurosaki and myself?" Satoshi Fujio wanted to know. "Do you want to know who you are, or do you want to know who we are? Essentially, you want to know if you can trust anything I just said."

"That too," Ryou admitted. "But I guess it's a question that can wait. After all, this is nothing but a game."

He felt like he had to say something like that, after he figured out that Kaoru's disappearance and Endrance's weren't coincidences. After all, Kaoru had panicked after they had first met Satoshi Fujio. Endrance had mentioned that Zamiel wanted something from him in real life. And now Endrance was gone.

If he could trust Satoshi Fujio, then it meant not only that he knew that Kaoru and Endrance were the same person, but he left enough hints behind for Haseo to figure that out. In order to play that game, Satoshi Fujio would also have to know that Haseo and Ryou were one and the same. And if Satoshi wasn't lying and if he really was a player and not an NPC—something that he couldn't know for sure—then it meant that this wasn't just a game, after all.

He never should have let Endrance go.

"I have to log off now," Ryou said. "I have to get ready to go to work."

"So do I, now that you mention it," Satoshi Fujio replied. "I'll see you in a little while, then."

Offline, Haseo frowned. What had Satoshi Fujio been trying to say, exactly? Was that his way of answering Ryou's question? If that was the case, then it meant that everyone matched their username in The World. Except for him. Who was Sora?


	17. Mackerel Sky Psyche and Reason

Disclaimer: I don't own .hack. But everything not associated with .hack (original plot, etc.) does belong to me.

In this chapter, Endrance meets the leaders of the Crimson Knights as well as a few people that will become more important to Haseo in a little bit (and Reki/Monarch might or might not be nursing the beginnings of a one-sided romance.) Please enjoy!

~greyrondo

"Elk—I mean Endrance—is gone. He just left. Balmung, this is getting strange. I guess strange isn't what I'm complaining about; I just don't like things going where we didn't plan them," Reki admitted as he sulked in the shadows of the cathedral. "Alkaid's really worried," he added.

Balmung frowned. "Since when does Monarch talk to Alkaid?"

"Never," Reki shrugged. "But I mean, she is kind of… I mean, she's really energetic."

"Reki…"

"Balmung, change the subject!" Reki insisted.

"If you insist. Do you remember the last time I asked you to do something slightly illegal?" Balmung asked he watched twilight stream in through the stained glass.

"That's not exactly what I had in mind," Reki told him. "I never should have agreed to it back then. If I hadn't, then who knows. If you had never figured out that Albireo didn't have a home address or any information listed that pertained to the real world, if you hadn't gotten curious, then maybe the Outbreak never would have happened."

"And that's exactly why I would have preferred for you to say, 'no, I don't remember the last time you asked me to do something illegal'. Are you in the mood to do something slightly illegal right now?"

"No!"

"You're so helpful. If it's all right with you, I'd greatly appreciate being given the opportunity to have a look at Haseo's Skeith during the Guardian Palace tournament. I'd like to check something."

**Chapter Seventeen: Mackerel Sky Psyche and Reason**

Endrance looked at the wide blue sky over the lake and sighed. Under any other circumstances, being in Dol Dona would be relaxing. He had been here once before, when it was easier to travel to Dol Dona without a guardian's pass, but it had been a long time ago.

It was the first time he had met Mia. For some odd reason, his first memory of being with G.U. was taking a vacation here.

Kuhn still called himself by his real name, Sieg. Alkaid and the twins wouldn't Awaken for years. Shino and Ovan were alive, and so were Sylvan—nicknamed the Silver Knight—and Lios, another two victims of Bordeaux's blade. He remembered Kite, Blackrose, Lord Orca. Pi didn't work as a guardian back then; while Reki wasn't her assistant, he usually gave her a hand when he could. Balmung wasn't really any more social back then as he was now, but he was kind in his own way.

He could see why Haseo didn't owe him any favors, even though Endrance thought that his accidental intervention between Haseo and the PK world had been a subtle favor in and of itself. And the way that Haseo stumbled upon Dreaming Poppy and him like that, and the way he immediately jumped to Endrance's defense without even knowing the context of the situation…

Thinking about Haseo watching Dreaming Poppy assault him made him feel uneasy in the worst way possible. Because even though Dreaming Poppy had never gone nearly that far ever before, Endrance doubted that Haseo had been too far wrong with his guess about Dreaming Poppy's intentions.

He was ashamed that Haseo had seen him in that situation; it was the kind of shame that caught on fire like anger. But the way that Haseo had wanted to protect him made him forget it, until Sakaki appeared.

Maybe Haseo's protection would have been a better choice than running to Dol Dona. But Endrance had been too shocked to hear Haseo's offer to even consider accepting it.

Endrance wondered if he would be here in Dol Dona right now if Sakaki hadn't appeared right at that moment when Haseo had run after him. Haseo was just like Alkaid in some cases. How could someone so impulsive have survived for so long as a PKK?

Because impulse had begun his life as a PKK in the first place. While he didn't go out and state that Sakaki was the PK he hated so much, he was too quick to cover his words when he hinted at it. And the way that he couldn't contain his anger when Sakaki had spoken to him only further proved it.

Before Dreaming Poppy dragged him to see Sakaki, or the Machinator as he called himself in the Lumina Cloth underground, Endrance wouldn't have ever considered the idea of Sakaki previously being a PK.

But Sakaki still conducted himself as if he were standing in the middle of Moon Tree's headquarters. He wasn't involving himself with Dreaming Poppy so much as trying to maintain an illusion that he wasn't simply using Dreaming Poppy.

Which of course was exactly what Sakaki had been doing. Maybe Dreaming Poppy was letting him.

Even if Endrance hadn't made the decision to run, he might have come here to Dol Dona anyways. Between the ex-guardians that led the Crimson Knights to the ones who simply settled here and stayed, one of them would have to know more about Endrance's place in G.U. And Dreaming Poppy's, for that matter.

"Hey, you. Aren't you that pretty-boy guardian that Dreaming Poppy kept on his leash?"

Endrance felt fear drain all the energy from his body. He quickly turned around, and found himself face-to-face with Bordeaux.

"I might be," Endrance said tightly, training a smile into place. This was not exactly how he had intended to contact Bordeaux. "Something I can do for you, Bordeaux the Guardian Killer?"

"There is, actually. But the Guardian Killer's not asking; Bordeaux is. You remember me, don't you? Sorry, but what was your name again? I'm usually better with names, but I wasn't really focused on knowing yours whenever we talked back then. But in a strange way, we weren't that distant, were we? I never bothered putting on a tough face for you, since I wanted to save it for Antares or Ovan whoever might give me answers."

"My name was Elk. But now I prefer Endrance," he replied. The tautness between his shoulders relaxed, he turned to face her in a friendlier stance instead of one that couldn't decide between fighting and bolting.

"Between back then and PKing now, I guess you think I'm the worst person alive, don't you?" she smiled sadly. "When I killed Lios and the Silver Knight, or whatever he called himself. You didn't think I would come after you, did you?"

Endrance shook his head. "I don't know about Bordeaux the Guardian Killer's actions, but back then, I don't think that your behavior reflected badly on you. I never doubted that you cared."

"Caring wasn't good enough. Caring didn't save him from that bastard. I—"

"Bordeaux," Endrance said as she sat down next to him. Unsure about what to do, he knelt beside her. He had never held a real conversation with Bordeaux back then, and he was so afraid of how much she had changed that he wanted Haseo's help when he wanted to talk to her a few days ago.

But now the PK who had murdered so many of his coworkers was crying.

"I'm using you just like I used you back then. I guess I needed someone to talk to, and you were the only one I could think of. Maybe you bring out the worst in me," she laughed through the tears.

"I don't think that's it," Endrance assured her. Where did the confidence come from, if he didn't feel any of it? "But… why?"

"I swear to Aura that I would die before I let that bastard Balmung near him ever again. He's looking for him, you know. That's why I started killing the guilty ones, to scare him off. But he's obsessed. He won't stop."

"You became a PK just to protect him?"

"I was just a kid when they took him away, plugged him into that program so he wouldn't know what they were doing to him. How was I supposed to know to run away with him back then? Parents tell their kids to trust the Cobalt Knights, G.U., and people like that. That they're good people. That they'll protect you. You're a tagger, aren't you? You could find him if you really wanted, couldn't you? Find him before Balmung does. I know you have his signature, for his Epitaph. Even if you didn't, there's only one Epitaph like that around, isn't there? I could make you look for him. I could sell you out to Fleurs du Mal if you didn't."

"I suppose you could. But that would make you no better than Balmung."

Bordeaux shook her head. "No, I'm better than him. I may be a PK, but I have standards. I'll just convince you that you should help me find him. But I won't do anything if you walk away. I know why Sakaki wants you. Among others. Of the guardians, he wants you, that new one Haseo, Jun's little sister, and Monarch and Zamiel."

Endrance realized right then that she didn't know that Haseo and the Terror of Death were the same person. But she still knew that Haseo was wanted by Sakaki. Where would she get this information? He thought it would be undeniably helpful to know the source, but he didn't want to interrupt her now; it could wait.

"Why?" Endrance wanted to know.

Bordeaux smiled. "I've got you hooked now, don't I? It's because each of you have a different Epitaph, and each of your Epitaphs are particularly strong. He's still up in the air with Innis and Magus, but… he's the Gorre."

"But when you take one of each Epitaph, essentially you get—"

"Exactly. Together, all eight of you will be a surrogate for him."

"Miss Bordeaux!" Endrance heard a clear voice call out from the path a little ways off. "And Endrance," that voice added. It belonged to Lord Crim of the Crimson Knights; Lady Subaru walked beside him.

When he arrived in Dol Dona, he had presented himself to Lady Subaru and Lord Crim. Members of the Crimson Knights hadn't been guarding the chaos gate—there was no point in it—but Endrance knew it would be best to let them know of his presence in Dol Dona immediately. What surprised him now was that they seemed to already know Bordeaux was here, too. She was, after all, a PK.

"Just checking up on you guys," Lord Crim said to them both. "Bordeaux, how's the search for your brother going?"

Bordeaux had told them why she was here?

She sighed. "Endrance has agreed to help me, but otherwise, not so good," she told him.

At that, Lord Crim shook his head. "Nothing on our end, either."

"We were thinking that he might have gone to Tartarga," Lady Subaru added. "Which does not help your position, but the more we thought, the more we wondered if he would be enough of a curiosity for Helba for her to make an exception and allow him within Tartarga's borders. I don't have any reason to believe that she would have ulterior motives, considering that she sealed off Tartarga in reaction to the Outbreak."

"She blamed G.U. for it, though I don't exactly know the details. Endrance, what's gotten you all interested in this? You just want to lend a hand while you're here biding your time, or what?" Crim asked.

Endrance hadn't given Lady Subaru a reason for him to be here, but the fact that he could get through the barrier at all, using his guardian's pass, and the fact that he hadn't said anything, had just made her nod in silent understanding. He wondered how much information passed from the rest of the world to Dol Dona.

"Better than nothing. And I wouldn't be a guardian if I didn't want to help," Endrance said weakly.

"Sounds like a plan," Lord Crim told him.

"Also, there was something else that we wanted to talk about—" Lady Subaru added, but then she fell quiet. They all looked up at the approaching pair. The community in Dol Dona was small, so small that even if Endrance didn't already recognize Mimiru and Bear because they were ex-guardians, he would have known them by now anyways.

"Hey, Subaru, Crim," Mimiru said. "Sorry to bother you, we're looking for BT. She said she'd go out in the field with us, but I think we got our meeting places a little mixed up."

"How are you, by the way?" Bear wanted to know.

"Business as usual," Lord Crim answered easily. Endrance wondered why, even though Bear and Mimiru had come to Dol Dona with Subaru and Crim, they weren't members of the Crimson Knights. Especially since they didn't bother with 'Lord' and 'Lady' when talking.

"The CCC still giving us a hard time?" Mimiru wanted to know.

"Don't even talk about that," Lord Crim sighed in aggravation. "I think I saw BT hanging around the market, maybe she's still there."

"Really? Thanks," Mimiru said to him. "C'mon, Bear, let's go before she gets all fussy because we're late."

"You have a pretty tight group here, don't you?" Bordeaux mused. "I guess you couldn't go against the CCC otherwise. What's your deal with Moon Tree, anyways? I'm not asking as a PK, especially since I know how you feel about PKs, but it seems like there's something more going on. From an outsider's point of view, you all sound very irrational, which isn't like the Crimson Knights at all."

"It is not Moon Tree, not exactly," Lady Subaru said. "Rather, it's Lord Sakaki. Put simply, we are afraid of him."

"The Crimson Knights are afraid of Sakaki?" Bordeaux said in disbelief.

"Not just the Crimson Knights," Endrance said then. He didn't know why he said it; he couldn't say something like that without an explanation. "I mean, there are others who fear what Moon Tree is doing. I've heard rumors that some people are being forced to join and remain with Moon Tree against their will," he added. By rumors, he meant what Haseo had told him about his friend Atoli.

If that was truly the case, then Moon Tree was no different from Fleurs du Mal, and Lord Sakaki was no different from Pi's older brother.


	18. Courtesy and Forgotten Berylline

Disclaimer: I don't own .hack. But everything not associated with .hack (original plot, etc.) does belong to me.

In this chapter, Haseo meets one woman in far different circumstances than usual, brushes shoulders with another, and reunites with a third. However the third woman apparently knows far more about Haseo than Haseo does. Please enjoy!

~greyrondo

"Zamiel," a curt voice called out over the crowd surrounding the Mac Anu chaos gate. Balmung turned around and met an off-colored gaze. It was Kamui of the Cobalt Knights.

"Looks like you get to walk away from this after all," she told him quietly as she drew close enough to talk.

"Good afternoon," Balmung replied. "What am I walking away from?"

"I'm going to Dol Dona, but just as Kamui, not as a Cobalt Knight. It appears that Bordeaux has been hiding there. Under the protection of the Crimson Knights, no less. I refuse to allow that to continue."

"If you're not going there as Kamui of the Cobalt Knights, then why would it matter that Bordeaux is there? Are you meeting her to talk badly about me together over tea?"

"I've sworn to defend this world. If the CCC refuses to allow the Cobalt Knights to enter Dol Dona because of the Crimson Knights, then I have to go without the permission of the CCC. Paperwork and petty politics can't protect someone who uses…what happened… as an excuse to murder! As much as I would personally like to see you rot, and I do see some warped sense of justice in her hand doing you in, I can't isolate my personal feelings from your importance to this world as a guardian."

"I don't think that's the only warped sense of justice you're seeing, if you think you can go beyond the authority of the Cobalt Knights and do as you please—"

"I am the authority of the Cobalt Knights now. You're speaking to Captain Kamui of the Cobalt Knights, I'll have you know. You owe me your life, Zamiel. Think about Bordeaux's blade every time you even think of doing less than the greatest service towards the well-being of the world. And don't even accuse me of having a warped sense of justice. You're one to talk."

Balmung narrowed his eyes. "Why don't you go to Tartarga, if you feel that strongly about it?"

"Unlike you, I don't believe in running away. I can't change the world for the better if I isolate myself in Helba's rusting citadel. What's gotten you so ruffled? Since when do you particularly care for Bordeaux?"

"Kamui, your motives have nothing to do with the fact that she's guilty of murder. You're doing all of this for the wrong reasons. Do you think that becoming the Captain of the Cobalt Knights just to fulfill some twisted vengeance fantasy coincides with his version of what it means to protect the world?"

"If he was alive, I could ask him. Unfortunately, your version of what it means to protect the world is the one that dominates the current order, not his."

"He is alive, Kamui!"

Kamui narrowed her eyes scornfully at him. "There will be no secrets within the Cobalt Knights with me as Captain. No secrets within the CCC, no secrets within the shadows of Lumina Cloth. Not even within G.U. There will be no betrayal, only blind justice served to those who have done wrong to this world."

"Under that definition of justice, Albireo would be guilty a thousand times over."

"Under my definition of justice, circumstances will never arise in which another person will be forced into the same situation that Albireo was."

**Chapter Eighteen: Courtesy and Forgotten Berylline**

Haseo wondered if it was Endrance that he wanted to go after, or Kaoru. He felt bad about what had happened to Endrance, and he couldn't shake the image of Dreaming Poppy hurting Endrance out of his head. Maybe hurting wasn't the right word. But Kaoru was the one who he wanted to prove himself to, the one whose absence made him uneasy.

What if the two weren't mutually exclusive?

It wasn't a coincidence that he had joined Reality not long before Endrance's actions had caused him to leave his life as a PKK behind. Like Satoshi Fujio had said, players can gain an advantage by integrating knowledge from real life into the game. Maybe it had worked the other way, too. Meeting Kaoru had changed something inside of him, and he had gathered the last bit of information he needed as a PKK—the link between Bordeaux and Sakaki. But after that, it was something he needed to leave behind.

Thinking of Endrance and Kaoru as one individual didn't make the look on Endrance's face when Sakaki brushed against him any easier for Haseo to think about.

"So what exactly do you want from Endrance, anyways?"

That hadn't been the voice inside of his head speaking. That voice belonged to Alkaid. He looked up, and the G.U. headquarters solidified around him.

She looked like she wanted an answer from him immediately, but at that moment Pi walked into their conversation. If she had heard what Alkaid asked, she didn't let on. But she didn't really need to do so.

"All right, where is he?" Pi demanded. "You know who I mean. Endrance didn't show up for the graveyard shift last night; with our guardian killer still on the loose, I had the Cobalt Knights check it out. No dead body, and no response from his home. Saku's this close to throwing a temper tantrum and I don't want to deal with it. Haseo, he was training you. Alkaid, you're his best friend—"

"Because that's worth so much," Alkaid muttered.

"And," Pi said pointedly, "One of you must have some guess as to where he's gone off. I don't have time for this. With Ovan and Shino dead and Endrance missing, our numbers are reduced to seven Epitaphs. That's not enough."

"I don't know anything," Alkaid said sulkily. "Maybe Haseo's got a clue."

With a look like that coming from Pi, Haseo didn't dare think of evading a response. "Well, uh, I might have mentioned Dol Dona to him earlier. Maybe he got the idea from me to go there," Haseo shrugged.

Pi rolled her eyes. "Endrance can't have gone to Dol Dona," she sighed.

"Why not?" Alkaid wanted to know.

"For guardians, you sure don't keep up with what's going on in the world. Access to Dol Dona through the chaos gates is currently restricted."

"What?" Haseo asked. "Why? Isn't Dol Dona just some backwater frontier village?"

"Not really," Pi said mincingly. "Like Tartarga, Dol Dona is an area of the world that doesn't consider itself represented by the CCC. Dol Dona was established as a 'backwater frontier village' just before the Outbreak. But because of the chaos that followed in the wake of the Outbreak, the Cobalt Knights were needed elsewhere. Leadership and governance fell to the settlers, and after the Outbreak, that included a not-insignificant portion of guardians who had quit G.U. Two of them, Subaru and Crim, formed the Crimson Knights to step into that role."

"Oh! I've heard of them," Alkaid said. "Crim comes back every year to participate in the Guardian Palace tournament."

"Which is coming up very quickly, as if there isn't enough going on already. What with AIDA and everything," Pi commented. "But anyways, when things settled down, the Cobalt Knights allowed the Crimson Knights to continue. Because of Dol Dona's remote location, PKs began to hide out there. After all, no Cobalt Knights, no laws, right? They have caused so much trouble for the Crimson Knights that when the CCC recently passed the legislation that allowed PKs to waive responsibility for their actions in exchange for joining Moon Tree, the Crimson Knights decided to let it be known that as representatives of the people of Dol Dona, they did not support such legislation. So right now, the Crimson Knights and, thus, all of Dol Dona, are now at odds with the Cobalt Knights and the CCC."

"Wow," Alkaid sighed. "That's awfully brave of them, if nothing else."

"Actually, the PKs had been avoiding Dol Dona for two or three years now," Haseo said. "Because the Crimson Knights were so harsh. Going there now, as a PK, would be like having a death wish. That's what Antares told me when I worked at his bar," Haseo added quickly. "How exactly is travel to Dol Dona restricted, Pi? Do the Cobalt Knights just have guards posted at the chaos gates, or what?"

"They have it coded to refuse access to anyone without proper clearance," Pi said to him. "Why?"

Haseo held up his guardian's pass. "Would something like that have let Endrance through, if he had gone through to Dol Dona before you reported him as missing?"

At that moment, a sharp rap on the doorway snared Pi's attention; she looked up and Haseo and Alkaid looked up with her. Monarch and Zamiel stood in the doorway.

If Monarch and Satosihi Fujio were the same person, Haseo thought that Monarch would do something subtle to let him know.

"Are we… interrupting something?" Monarch said blankly. "Pi, Master Yata wants to discuss the Guardian Palace tournament with you. And with you as well, Alkaid, since you are, as of now, still the Emperor."

"You say that like you don't think I can do it again this year," Alkaid said defensively as she stood up. Pi did the same.

"I don't recall actually saying that…" Monarch said vaguely before turning around and retreating down the hallway, following Zamiel.

"He pisses me off so much. He's so full of himself, just because he's Zamiel's right-hand man. Like that makes him special. I could take on his Fidchell any day," Alkaid sniffed. "Zamiel's so weird nowadays. It's like he couldn't be bothered to talk to us new guardians anymore."

"Alkaid, that's enough," Pi said warningly. "Haseo, go to Dol Dona if you truly think that Endrance is there. I'd rather not get the Cobalt Knights involved in this; no need to have them investigating every single thing that occurs in G.U."

"If you find him, you tell him that he's in huge trouble," Alkaid told Haseo. "Actually, we'll let that be a surprise. Catch you later!"

"Good luck," Pi added. "The Crimson Knights should be friendlier to you because you're from G.U., not from the Cobalt Knights. There aren't many secrets in Dol Dona; if Endrance did go there, just ask and they'll know."

Haseo wasn't sure how he felt about traveling to Dol Dona. It was something that he had thought about more than once; to him, Dol Dona was not unlike a sanctuary. It was where he could have gone if Antares had given him the right kind of warning; as long as he came clean with the Crimson Knights about the fact that he had been a PKK, they would have offered him their protection.

But he didn't know that Lady Subaru and Lord Crim had once been guardians. That certainly put a different perspective on things, knowing that they were guardians who went against the CCC and the Cobalt Knights.

The sharp smell of pollen, dried grass, and afternoon sun struck Haseo as the chaos gate accepted his guardian's pass and allowed him to pass through to Dol Dona.

"Oh, sorry," he said as he got out of the way of a woman, who was standing on the other side, dangerously close to the chaos gate. It wasn't until she was gone that he thought that since access to Dol Dona was restricted, the chance of another person standing there was pretty rare.

He didn't immediately realize that he had been blocking the path of Kamui of the Cobalt Knights.

With that thought, Haseo decided to get into town as quickly as possible. No sooner had he passed beyond what looked like a small farmer's market did someone call his attention.

"You!" A woman in green abruptly gasped from one of the stalls. She absentmindedly dropped the grunty food she had been examining, and stared at him for a good five seconds before walking over to him.

Haseo had never seen the blond woman in his life. But she certainly knew him. "Um, sorry, I think you've got me mistaken for someone else?" he said uncertainly.

But she shook her head. "No, there's no mistaking you. You're… you're Sora, aren't you?"

Sora?

Haseo's eyes went wide. "I'm sorry… what?" he breathed. "I don't really… know what you mean…"

"It's me, BT," the woman said. "You know, the guardian who looked after you when you were little. At G.U. You were such a handful," she sighed. "At least you cleaned up pretty well, I guess. I wouldn't go so far as to say that you look respectable, but you're still a kid."

"BT?" Haseo repeated.

"You don't recognize me, do you," she said, but she didn't seem surprised. "So… it's true… what happened to you."

"What? Listen, BT, whoever you are," Haseo said quickly, "I don't know what you're talking about. I don't remember you, or being at G.U. when I was a kid. I don't think you have the right person."

That made her smile, but there was something sad about it. "Then why did you look afraid when you heard your own name? What new name did they give you, Sora?"

"My name is Haseo," he said softly. "I… I just saw the name Sora somewhere. That's all…"

"You—" BT began, but then shook her head. "My goodness, this is all too much at once. Seeing you again, and now this. Listen, I can't really say as much as I'd like to, but go talk to Tsukasa," she said oddly. She sounded as she were about to say more, but then they both heard someone call out her name some distance away from them. Distracted, she looked up just as a young woman dressed in red armor and an older man wearing equally sparse clothing suddenly included themselves in the conversation.

"Hey BT," the young woman said, "We've been looking for you. Guess you got held up chatting here. Aren't you going to introduce us?"

Haseo frowned. He knew them. He didn't know their names, hadn't seen their faces before or heard their voices. But he knew who they were.

"Oh," BT said, flustered, "of course. Mimiru, Bear, this is… well, you remember Sora, don't you?"

The young woman named Mimiru's eyes went wide. Apparently, they knew him too.

"Well, long time, no see. You were just a kid when I last saw you," Bear said cheerfully, filling in Mimiru's silence. It didn't take Haseo much thought to sense the awkwardness behind Bear's cheer. "How have you been keeping up?"

"Oh, uh, great. Just… really great," Haseo said. He didn't add that he had no memories whatsoever of them. "I'm looking for someone right now, actually. I think he might have come here recently. Have you seen a really tall, blue-haired guy named Endrance around here, by any chance?"

"You say his name is Endrance?" Bear mused.

"Wow," Mimiru said then, with an odd and deflated laugh, "seems like everyone's losing each other these days." Then she looked down at the dirt. "Taken out of context, that's not so funny, is it," she said softly.

"I believe we just saw him with Bordeaux," Bear interjected. The way he said it was so casual that Haseo thought he had misheard him.

"Bordeaux?" he repeated in disbelief.

"Yes, Bordeaux. The PK," Bear contributed, with all the panic as if he had said 'grunty food merchant' instead.

"Yeah, I know," Haseo grumbled. Dol Dona was supposed to be the equivalent of death for a PK. Had Bordeaux really risked her life to come here in search of the person Haseo had heard her speaking about? And she was with Endrance?

"That's right!" Mimiru said, a little too loudly and enthusiastically. "With any luck, they'll still be standing and talking with Lady Subaru. We just came from that way. You had better hurry off after him or you might lose him!"

Haseo was so struck by the tense and panicked sense of awkwardness that ran through that entire conversation, first with just BT and then with Mimiru and Bear, that he almost left without even thanking them. But when BT addressed him as 'Sora' in her goodbye, he just ended up waving at them as he ran off.

Something wasn't right. How could the game Reality know something about him that he didn't? And why didn't he know any of the people who had just claimed to know him?

If this woman wasn't crazy, which he doubted, then she had known him as a child. Something he didn't even know. And someone he had crossed paths with G.U. when he was that young.

'Go ask Tsukasa', BT had advised him just before Mimiru and Bear joined the conversation. Haseo didn't know who Tsukasa was, but he couldn't be someone that hard to find if BT hadn't said anything else.

He saw Endrance standing next to the woman he recognized as Lady Subaru, and another woman who looked distinctly like Bordeaux.

"Endrance! I found you," Haseo gasped as he came close. "I didn't think you were serious—"

But Endrance didn't turn around as quickly as Bordeaux. "I know that voice," she hissed. "You. You're the Terror of Death," she said and before Haseo could protest, she had unsheathed her knives.

"Wait a second," Haseo said cautiously. He couldn't have been further from being in the mood to fight if he were dead.

"Bordeaux!" Lady Subaru called out. "Remember your agreement. We cannot grant you sanctuary if you behave in the manner of a PK. Your circumstances notwithstanding, if you bring discord upon Dol Dona, you will be treated as a PK."

"It's okay," Haseo told her, even though he didn't get any closer. He held up his hands in a gesture of surrender. "Our only argument was when I was hired to kill you. There's nothing personal between us, just a couple of questions. And it's just Haseo now. You can call me that instead, if you want."

She let her guard down and sheathed her knives again, but didn't ease her glare. Until she looked up, and something in her eyes told Haseo that she saw something—or someone—that she hated even more than Haseo.


	19. Mutation and Inconspicuous Calcimine

Disclaimer: I don't own .hack. But everything not associated with .hack (original plot, etc.) does belong to me.

In this chapter, Haseo gets a glimpse of something that might or might not be wrong with Endrance, but isn't given the chance to be with the blue-haired guardian like he wanted. Please enjoy!

~greyrondo

"Monarch? What are you doing, working behind a desk?" Balmung asked as he walked into the room behind the main entrance of G.U. "I thought you'd gone home for the night."

"Sometimes I prefer mindless busy work," Reki said quietly. "It's annoying and time-consuming, but at least you can count on it to stay the same. There's nothing underneath the surface. It can't become infected with AIDA, and it can't berserk on you."

"If you put it that way, I suppose I'm in a paperwork mood myself," Balmung replied.

"So was Pi. I'm helping clean out some old files. Normally I wouldn't do my old job, but with the Guardian Palace starting in a matter of days, Pi's a little swamped."

"You came in early because you wanted to work a shift with Alkaid, didn't you?"

"And if I did?" Reki said as he looked up, flustered. "But AIDA's lying low right now, and she's moping to Sieg about Elk. And it seemed like I upset her with that comment about the tournament, even though I still don't know what I actually said that made her angry. Anyways, Balmung, uh, about earlier…"

"About what?"

"I didn't mean it when I said that I would have rather not have helped you get that information, back then. If something weird like that happened right now, I would do the same thing."

"I know," Balmung said. "I can tell."

"Balmung, what ever did you end up doing with that information that I found for you? The information about Albireo that didn't make sense?"

"I confronted Jun," Balmung told Reki. It was close enough to the truth. He had attempted to confront Jun, but Jun had been unavailable, and so Balmung had logged in to Fragment instead. Jun's unavailability didn't make sense until later.

_Balmung ducked into the stairs leading up from the street above the canal. After three flights carried him to a height from which he could see the rooftops of the virtual Water Capital, he found a doorway tucked into an alcove and hoped that he remembered Orca's directions correctly. He automatically reached forward into the shadows to knock on the door, but the door itself was open wide._

_Uneasy, Balmung peered inside. Shades blocked out most of the twilight, making it fairly dark. It didn't seem that anyone was here, until Balmung's eyes dropped to the floor._

"_Albireo?" he breathed in panic as he crossed the threshold and knelt down by the fallen figure lying there, shaking and curled into himself with intense pain._

_At the sound of his name, Albireo opened his eyes halfway. But the only sound he made in return was an enervated cry, and after holding Balmung's gaze for a moment, he closed his eyes and went limp._

"_You came," he heard a child's voice say behind him. "I left to search for you, hoping I could find you before he became like this. Even though I wondered what good it would do since you didn't come the last time…but you came without my asking this time."_

_Balmung turned halfway around, and saw standing above him in the doorway, the little girl dressed in red. She sounded much more articulate than someone of her age could be. "You're—"_

"_My name is Lycoris. Please, if you could move him to the bed? I'm not strong enough."_

**Chapter Nineteen: Mutation and Inconspicuous Calcimine**

"What are you doing here, Kamui of the Cobalt Knights?" Subaru demanded. "Dol Dona has denied the CCC's control. You have no authority here."

Kamui stepped forward to speak, a cold and superior glare gleaming in her eyes. "You have rebelled against the CCC because you feel that we are being too soft on PKs. How can that be, when you harbor the most dangerous PK?"

"I'm the most dangerous PK? That can't be," Bordeaux said, half-teasing.

"Instead of hunting innocent civilians, like typical PK scum, you murdered guardians, people responsible for the safety of the world!" Kamui retorted. "For every guardian that you killed, countless people could have possibly died. Or have you forgotten the Outbreak?"

Haseo felt right then that if Bordeaux could, she would have run Kamui through with one of her blades right then and there, regardless of her agreement with Lady Subaru. "There isn't a day that I forget the Outbreak, thanks for asking," Bordeaux told her.

"Bordeaux is responsible for the deaths of several guardians, and I do not condone her actions," Subaru said to Kamui. "But there is something much larger occurring, something of which the Cobalt Knights are surely aware. Something of which you in particular, Kamui, are surely aware."

"If you've come here to stir up trouble, you're wasting your time," Lord Crim added. "You'd do well to leave now, and come back with better manners. Better yet, come back when the CCC isn't Lord Sakaki's puppet. Then we'll talk."

But then she shook her head. "Although I am here unofficially, I might report this incident to the CCC. I'm sure it will reflect on negotiations when the Crimson Knights allow Dol Dona to join the rest of the world once more. You, guardians. You would do well to leave this place and return to G.U."

"Nice try, but you can't threaten us. I'll escort you to the chaos gate," Crim said.

As they walked out of earshot, Bordeaux sighed. "Guess I'd better keep moving. I don't want to cause any trouble for you, Lady Subaru. And I'm less than pleased to be in the same place as the Terror of Death. Endrance, you're coming with me, aren't you?"

"I—" Endrance began.

"Hold on just a second," Haseo interrupted him. "Endrance, I didn't come all the way out here just so I could chat and leave. And I didn't want to talk to you, Bordeaux, just so we could glare at each other. I'm not here because I'm the Terror of Death, and I'm pretty sure you're not here as a PK. There's something weird going on around here. Why did you kill Ovan?"

"You really want to know that bad," Bordeaux remarked. "What is with all of you people? Why can't you just leave us alone?"

"I don't know who 'us' refers to, but once you kill someone, that kind of puts you on the spot," Haseo told her. "It doesn't matter what motivated the killing. Lady Subaru, what exactly did you mean when you said that something larger was occurring?"

But Subaru first addressed Bordeaux, not him. "I know that the relationship you have with this young man must be a strained one, because of your respective roles. But those roles do not carry over here into Dol Dona, Bordeaux. At the same time, Haseo, you cannot demand such personal information without offering something that would contribute in return. To do so would be rude and an insult to the reason behind Bordeaux's actions."

"Haseo, she's right," Endrance told him. "Bordeaux, may I tell him what you told me? I think that with such high stakes, it wouldn't harm anyone to collaborate."

"Are you telling me that you vouch for him, Elk?" Bordeaux said pointedly.

As Endrance hesitated, Haseo became worried. But Endrance said, "You called me the guardian that Dreaming Poppy keeps as a pet. If it weren't for Haseo, I think I would be with Dreaming Poppy still. Why did you think I was in Dol Dona in the first place?"

But Bordeaux shook her head. "Even Balmung could lay claim to such acts of heroism. Why are you so trusting? I'll bet that's what got you trapped with Fleurs du Mal in the first place."

Haseo was surprised to hear, of all things, a laugh from Endrance in response. "Weren't we just discussing how much you trusted G.U. when you were young?"

"You little—"

"Careful," Endrance told her. "You can't threaten to sell me out to Fleurs du Mal if I leave with Haseo. You'd say that the Terror of Death is more than capable of protecting me, wouldn't you?"

"Where did this come from?" Bordeaux said with a bitter smile playing on her lips. "Why so manipulative all of a sudden, Endrance?"

Through this entire exchange, Haseo noticed, Subaru just stayed back and watched.

But Bordeaux was right. The Endrance that had spoken just now wasn't like Endrance at all.

"It's simple," Endrance said. "You have information, Haseo has information. Do you want to find your brother, or do you want to continue playing this game of yours until you forget why you became Bordeaux the PK in the first place?"

This wasn't Endrance speaking, Haseo realized. This was Kaoru.

"Bordeaux, if you won't tell him, then I will. You told me about my place in all of this; he shares an equal part. He deserves to know as much as I do. If he doesn't know, then it will be just like when you came to G.U. all those years ago, asking questions without getting any answers in return."

"Fine," Bordeaux said. But there wasn't any venom in her voice to back it up. "You're better with words than I am, anyways."

"Haseo, do you know why the time five years ago that AIDA destroyed three-quarters of the world is called the Outbreak?" Endrance asked.

"Because that's what AIDA does, right? It infects people and corrupts their Epitaphs?" Haseo replied.

But Endrance shook his head. "That is what AIDA does. But AIDA was the Outbreak, not the cause of the Outbreak. Bordeaux and I believe that G.U. caused the Outbreak," Endrance said softly, so softly that Haseo wondered if he had imagined it.

"G.U.?" Haseo gasped. "That's insane. What do you mean?"

Endrance looked away from Haseo. "When I worked at G.U. before I Awoke and I became a guardian, there was a guardian there who Mia told me worked with Lord Balmung. I didn't see him until later. Like you, this guardian wasn't at G.U. because he wanted to be, but because of the nature of his Epitaph."

"Why are you telling me all of this, Endrance?" Haseo wanted to know. "What does this have to do with the Outbreak?"

"I'm getting there. I was obviously first hired at G.U. because of my tagging abilities, not because I'm good with paperwork. That guardian's Epitaph wasn't like other Epitaphs. I don't know how to describe it exactly, not without sounding ridiculous."

He paused before starting again. "In the legends, do you remember that Morganna was supposedly taken over by the Wave and that was how we, the descendants of the shadowless ones, came to each possess one of the Wave's Epitaphs? That guardian had not one Epitaph, but eight. It felt like he was, essentially, Morganna."

"I have a hard enough time managing my Skeith, and I'm guessing it's not easy for any guardian to handle their Epitaph, either. How could someone live with all eight?"

"Not all of them had Awoken," Endrance told him. "When we were informed that a PK was targeting guardians, I didn't make the connection until Ovan was murdered. But of course all PKs travel the same circles, and even though I worked with Fleurs du Mal, I would see Bordeaux occasionally. Every time I saw her, I was struck with how she oddly seemed to look like that guardian, even though she had gone to great lengths to change her hair color. And I realized that what she was doing was revenge against G.U. for what they had done to her brother. What I think happened to her brother, that is."

"That guardian disappeared one day," Endrance continued. "But the last time I saw him, just before he disappeared, all eight of his Epitaphs had Awoken. The Outbreak as we know it occurred months after he disappeared. In the months in between, there were a few guardians who would go looking for him, guardians who had worked with him before. Ovan was one of them, and he came back infected with AIDA. I have reason to believe that guardian was the cause of the Outbreak. And thus, G.U. was the cause of the Outbreak."

Haseo sighed heavily. "Hang on, I've got too many questions. This guardian was Bordeaux's brother?"

"His name is Albireo," Endrance specified.

"Now you know my sob story," Bordeaux told him. "So what've you got?"

Haseo scrambled for thoughts. There was only one fact, the most important one, that came to him.

"I don't remember anything before the Outbreak. I don't know what my parents looked like, nothing, except that they died in the Outbreak while I was god knows where. This lady here randomly came up to me, called me by a name that isn't mine, and told me I spent my childhood at G.U. How's that? What does this all have to do with me?"

"BT," Subaru sighed.

"Haseo," Bordeaux said quietly. "I don't know the details, but I know that Sakaki wants to collect together eight individuals with particularly strong Epitaphs, one of each. You, Endrance, Pi, and Monarch and Zamiel are the candidates so far. He also includes himself in the group, as the representative Gorre."

The conversation he had overheard between Bordeaux and Sakaki came back to him. Sakaki had mentioned something like a procedure in response to Bordeaux's desire for revenge on Monarch and Zamiel. Revenge that now made a vague kind of sense, but something was still missing. If Bordeaux was that angry, there was something she had held back when she had spoken earlier with Endrance.

"Sakaki wants to save the world from AIDA," Bordeaux said then. "He thinks he's developed some sort of procedure."

"If his motives and goals are so magnanimous, then why doesn't he share his findings with G.U.?" Subaru spoke up. "If he knows how to lighten the workload of the guardians, then he should share that knowledge. Why must this be the core of some conspiracy?"

"I don't know," Bordeaux replied. "I can't answer that. I don't know why these individuals were chosen over others, besides the strength of their Epitaphs. I don't know why their Epitaphs are so strong. This sounds selfish, but I'm really only interesting in finding my brother."

"No one is faulting you for that," Subaru said to her. "And it would be unwise to look for answers in a place where there aren't any. Perhaps I am searching for more reasons to find fault with Lord Sakaki than actually exist. Bordeaux, you should continue the search for your brother. Endrance, Haseo, you should return to G.U. Especially you, Endrance, I feel."

But he shook his head. "I'm sorry, Lady Subaru, but I can't do that. I want… to accompany Bordeaux. I can help her find her brother quicker than she could on her own…"

And there was the Endrance that Haseo knew, once again.

"Haseo," he said, "I know that you came out here because of me. I'm sorry to make you go through the trouble… and to make you be the one to tell everyone at G.U. that I won't be returning for a little while..."

There wasn't anything else Haseo could do. He would have to take what he knew and investigate on his own. He would find Tsukasa.

"Sure," Haseo said emptily. "I mean, it's no problem with me. Bordeaux, take good care of him. Don't kill him," he joked, but it fell flat.

Still, Bordeaux laughed. "Don't worry, Haseo."

At least he wasn't the Terror of Death anymore. Which counted for absolutely nothing.


	20. Knowledge and Malnourished Sepia

Disclaimer: I don't own .hack. But everything not associated with .hack (original plot, etc.) does belong to me.

Balmung recalls his first memory of the hint that something might be very wrong with Albireo and Haseo puzzles over Tsukasa's identity, before learning that the online game 'Reality' might have more to do with reality than he thought.

~greyrondo

"And then what happened after you confronted Jun?" Reki wanted to know.

"I discovered why G.U. held Albireo prisoner within Fragment," Balmung replied.

_After the shock of seeing the girl who technically didn't exist faded, he had looked down at Albireo, passed out on the floor._

"_Of course," he said, complying because he didn't know what else to do. Albireo didn't stir when Balmung awkwardly shifted him into his arms and stood up. Lycoris ran past him and motioned for him to follow her into the next room, where a small bed took up most of the space. Beyond the bed, though, was a large window looking out into the canal and a door leading outside to what had to be a balcony._

"_Stay with him?" Lycoris asked as Balmung set Albireo's limp form onto the traditional Mac Anu wave-patterned blanket. _

"_What? All… all right," Balmung agreed, and sat down on the bed beside Albireo. Lycoris pulled the curtains open to let the twilight drift into the room, and then joined him._

"_This place looks—" Balmung began quietly, but his voice faded as he didn't know how to say what he meant._

"_Like a home?" Lycoris suggested. "He does live here. Exactly as you live in the real world."_

_Balmung frowned. "I don't think I understand. What happened to him? Why did he pass out like that?" But even as he said that he didn't understand, he hadn't forgotten what Albireo's sister had made so clear: no one could contact Albireo in the real world._

"_Will you stay with him until he wakes up?" Lycoris asked then._

"_Of course," Balmung assured her, "but what about you?"_

"_Please stay with him. I can't be here when he wakes up after passing out like that. Not yet. Although, with you here, then maybe soon—I should go," she said suddenly, and then primly hopped off the bed and vanished into the first room, leaving Balmung all but alone._

_Minutes or hours later—he had lost track of time—Albireo stirred. _

_For a split second, the world fragmented. Balmung's Corbenik stirred, threatened by the shadow suddenly cast. It was an Epitaph, but it was nothing like Balmung's Corbenik had encountered ever before. But before Balmung could trace the source of the quaking fear that his Corbenik trembled with, everything snapped back._

"_Lyco—" Albireo called out as he opened his eyes. _

**Chapter Twenty: Knowledge and Malnourished Sepia**

It was dark, except for the ghastly green cast over Haseo's face. He had never gone into the basement of G.U., and he certainly had never done it at one in the morning. But a time when the others, the real guardians, were out fighting AIDA was the only time he could think of to do what he needed.

"Sora," Haseo said. The Serpent of Lore returned no results.

"BT," he said next. All he got was her photo and a boring profile of her life in Dol Dona, and a side note that mentioned she used to work for G.U. Nothing else.

Maybe being direct wasn't the strategy he should use. "Bordeaux," Haseo said. A picture of a younger Bordeaux appeared in front of him, with brown-black hair instead of her harshly-dyed red. The only information he received was that she was born in Lia Fail to her parents. She was, apparently, an only child. The Serpent of Lore recommended that he view 'Bordeaux, PK', but that was all.

"Ovan," Haseo said after that. But as soon as Ovan's photo appeared before him, he heard something behind him.

And then Haseo froze. As the door opened, the light from the hallway fell on his back like a spotlight. Even worse, it wasn't Pi who had discovered him searching the Serpent of Lore. It was Master Yata himself.

Haseo had never held a single conversation with Master Yata. But if Yata was someone that Pi deferred unquestioningly to, then he knew that he was in trouble.

Master Yata walked up behind him and casually glanced over Haseo's shoulder. "Haseo, do you know why Ovan joined the Guardians' Union?" he said, his voice clipped and threateningly quiet.

"I'm sorry," Haseo replied softly. "I shouldn't have—"

"It was because his little sister, Aina, was infected by AIDA and became a Lost One. He sought a way to reverse her state, and a way to eradicate AIDA forever. The more his love for his sister consumed his motives, the less he cared about those who would help him achieve his goals. To this day, Aina sits catatonic in Moon Tree's central hospital, completely unaware of her brother's actions or, indeed, of his death."

"Why would you tell me something like that?" Haseo wanted to know.

Master Yata reached around his arm and returned the Serpent of Lore to its dormant state. "It's not against the rules to ask me about something you don't know. I might not answer, but you won't get a response by not trying."

"Okay," Haseo said then, "then who is Tsukasa?"

That made Master Yata smile. "Why don't you ask the Serpent of Lore?"

"Are you telling me to go ahead and ask the Serpent of Lore, or are you reprimanding me?" Haseo asked him.

Master Yata cleared his throat. "Tsukasa," he said. Not to Haseo, but to the Serpent of Lore. In the time it took for his voice to echo, a picture of a pale boy formed on the screen, replacing Ovan. With white hair and violet eyes, he looked a little like a very young, very frightened Lord Balmung of Azure Sky.

"Tsukasa," Haseo read aloud. "A deceased member of Guardians' Union. Unique Epitaph-related abilities caught G.U.'s attention when he was young, and was looked after by Lord Balmung of Azure Sky. Died at the onset of the Outbreak from complications following AIDA infection, likely resulting from the peculiar condition of his Epitaph in which he possessed all eight forms. Research as to how this phenomenon occurred was initiated by Jun, but following Jun's departure from G.U. and subsequent venture into the Lumina Cloth underground—"

"Thank you," Master Yata interrupted.

"How does the Serpent of Lore work?" Haseo was curious to know after it returned back to its dormant state. "Is it really able to observe everything? Is it like a chaos gate?"

"Somewhat like a chaos gate," Master Yata replied. "It can't observe everything, even when it operates at full capacity. And it isn't invulnerable to tampering, provided that someone knows what they're doing. The only person I can think of who could do such a thing was Helba, but only because she created it."

But if Tsukasa was dead, then Haseo could hardly ask him about Sora. And it wasn't that Tsukasa had died recently; Tsukasa had died before BT and the rest of the guardians left G.U. and settled in Dol Dona.

BT might have lied to him, but that made no sense. If she was going to lie to him, then there was no point in going out of her way to call him out and begin a conversation with him in the first place. He would have walked by her without so much as a backwards glance.

Even if Tsukasa were alive, Haseo doubted it would matter. The Serpent of Lore had just described Bordeaux's brother Albireo, who wasn't Tsukasa at all.

"Is your curiosity satisfied?" Master Yata wanted to know. What made everything seem just short of real for Haseo was that Master Yata didn't ask Haseo the reason behind his curiosity, even when asking about someone as apparently random as Tsukasa should alert Master Yata to something suspicious, at least. Taking into account that the Tsukasa presented to him by the Serpent of Lore wasn't real, Haseo wondered why Master Yata didn't demand an explanation.

"Yeah, I'm good, thanks," Haseo said quietly.

Maybe someone had tampered with the Serpent of Lore. Perhaps it was Helba, more likely it was Master Yata. Haseo now knew he couldn't really talk to Master Yata about anything, but there was no chance that he would get to speak with Helba. Getting into Dol Dona was one thing; all he needed to do was flash a guardian's pass to enter. Dol Dona, while at odds with the CCC, still recognized its connection to the rest of the world. Not only did Tartarga bluntly express its disapproval of the CCC, it isolated itself from the rest of the world. No one entered, no one left. It was as if the outside world didn't even exist.

He had to either try, or find another solution. It would be easiest to simply ask BT for clarification, but he didn't have that option. And with the Guardian Palace tournament beginning soon, there was no way he could leave G.U.

"Haseo, go home and get some rest. You don't think you need it now, but you'll thank yourself later," Master Yata advised him. "Oh, and by the way. It would be safer if you stopped playing that game. You know which one I'm talking about."

"You mean Reality?"

"The very same."

"Are you telling me to stop?"

"I'm telling you it would be safer if you did. I'm not advising or ordering, I'm just voicing an observation of mine."

"What do you know about it?" Haseo wanted to know.

"Enough for me to make some frightening guesses," was all that Master Yata told him. "I need to work with the Serpent of Lore, now. If you don't mind…"

"Oh, right. Sorry, Master Yata," Haseo said, and excused himself.

Now that Master Yata had mentioned it, Haseo knew exactly what he wanted to do. He wanted to ask Satoshi Fujio why the Civil Control Commons and the CC Corporation shared the same initials. It was a small thing and it could be a coincidence, but Haseo just wanted to get him talking, if nothing else.

That photo of 'Tsukasa' really did look like Lord Balmung of Azure Sky. Maybe he should ask Zamiel about Tsukasa. Zamiel was certainly around at the same time as BT and the others.

He climbed the stairs to the first level just as Alkaid and Kuhn walked into G.U. headquarters. Kuhn gave a casual but exhausted greeting and went off in search of Pi, but Alkaid remained.

"You told Pi that you couldn't find Endrance," Alkaid accused. "Were you lying?"

"I—" Haseo began. "I didn't tell Pi that I couldn't find him; all I told her was that he wasn't in Dol Dona. I didn't lie."

"A lie by omission is still a lie," Alkaid insisted. "So you did run into him! What happened? Is he safe?"

"I don't know where he is now, if that's what you want to know. But he's safe, I guess," Haseo told her. He knew that his answer wasn't exactly the most reassuring one, but there wasn't anything else he could say to her that wasn't a lie.

"You 'guess'," Alkaid repeated darkly. "You guess he's safe? That's not the answer I'm looking for! You know he's quarantined, right?"

"Quarantined?" Haseo repeated. "What's 'quarantined'?"

She rolled her eyes. "It's something that they've figured out how to do with guardians' Epitaphs, since they're strong. If a guardian gets infected with AIDA but can't risk a data drain, then they can quarantine the virus and continue to work. Endrance is infected with AIDA, and you're telling me that you 'guess' he's safe when you don't even know where he is or what he's doing?"

"I didn't even sense AIDA when I was near him," Haseo told her. "Are you sure?"

"That's why it's a quarantine, you idiot. You can't call something a 'quarantine' if it doesn't protect others, can you?"

"Fine," Haseo said, withdrawing. "You're right. I'm an idiot. Whatever. How long has Endrance been like that?"

Alkaid shrugged. "I don't know. As long as I've known him, he's been quarantined like that. It makes him weird, sometimes, because his Epitaph's a Macha. When he isn't being antisocial, he can be an okay guy to hang around. That's the Endrance I prefer, actually. I haven't seen that Endrance around for a while, though."

That made Haseo think. "What do you mean by 'an okay guy'? Like, more confident, anything like that?"

She nodded. "So that's why even if you think he's safe out there… he's not really safe. Something bad could happen, and he could become a Lost One. I guess it's not entirely your fault, though."

"Thanks, I guess."

"Anyways, this way, he's gone for the Guardian Palace. He never really liked the tournament, you know. Kuhn told me that Master Yata wanted you to compete, by the way, whether you've gained control over your Epitaph by the opening ceremonies or not. He said it would be good motivation."

She had to be joking. But something said she wasn't. She looked like she was about to say something more, something that might have been a rare word of encouragement, but then Pi and Kuhn entered the room.

"I was hoping they would join us for the Guardian Palace," Kuhn commented. "But their absence from the Guardian Palace isn't really something to be worried about, I guess. Hey Alkaid, you lucked out. Bear, Mimiru, and BT won't be competing."

That made Alkaid laugh. "Really? That's awesome! BT's Innis almost kicked my butt last year! But why'd they withdraw?"

Pi cleared her throat. "Well, they didn't exactly 'withdraw.' The Crimson Knights found all three of them unconscious in their homes a few hours ago. The Crimson Knights have relaxed their stance against the CCC, since they had to be moved to Moon Tree's central hospital and put on life support. They're in comas."

"What…?" Alkaid asked.

"Why?" Haseo wanted to know. "What happened to them? Were they attacked?"

But Pi shook her head. "No, nothing like that. That's why it's so strange. All they were doing was sitting in front of their computers, playing some online game."


End file.
